Mums - How Do You Make it Worth It to Work?

DevilsAdvocate1

I went back to work full time when my oldest was 7 months old. The career that I loved before having children I suddenly hated, as I missed him so much.

Two years later and my second son was born. I took voluntary redundancy when I was on maternity leave, so this lump sum helped us for a while. Money was tight though as I had earned the same as my husband, so we lost half our income when I gave up work.

When DS2 was 3, a friend asked if I would consider registering as a childminder. I did this and looked after her children a few nights a week after school. It varied from week to week as my friend worked shifts.

Turned out there were no other registered childminders working at the primary school, so I was quickly full with children both before and after school.

Two years after this, and my third son was born. I decided to give up childminding. Luckily, the school setup an afterschool club so I did not have to feel guilty about letting the families down that I had been working for.

I started mystery shopping and auditing and now do this full time. Its great because I do as much as I can while the children are at school and then write the reports when they are in bed. I am earning as much now as I was in my career job. As I'm self employed, I don't work during school holidays, so it all fits in around my children.

ilovebargains99

We couldn't make it work. We have two young children, aged almost one and almost three. It would cost us £1500 per month for full time nursery!!!!
As I earn more than my hubby, he is about to finish work tomorrow to look after them as I return to work full time after maternity leave. He looked after our first, as we hoped we could have two close together, and didn't want her to start nursery then take her out. She attends a preschool two mornings a week (£6 per session).

He has been priced out of the job market - it just doesn't pay for him to work

We are lucky to be in a position where we can do this, but it does take a lot of budgeting and bargain hunting to manage.

Giraffeseeker

I could manage it with one child, when I had my second I realised my job would never fit in - day care is one thing, school holidays are totally different...

So with a 6 month old baby and a 3 year old son I did a PGCE and became a teacher. I worked hard and still needed childcare - but once they were at school themselves this was only for a short time before school and only one or two nights after school (meeting nights). I did all my planning and marking at home in the evenings when they were in bed and didn't need holiday care.

The PGCE year was tough financially, as was the following few years, but once they were at school it was better. I was lucky to have a job local to home, which helps.

Crucially, I had a career that "almost" fitted in with the kids. And in 10 years I have gone from the basic teaching wage at the time of £18K to a much more senior position and £45K+.

Had I stayed at home and then retrained later I would currently be on a much lower wage. My increase is due partly to moving up the pay scale and partly to being promoted a few times.

Both are now in secondary so no childcare costs. I have a good income, am local to the kids if anything happens or if they have a dentist appointment or whatever, I can drop them off at school and often collect them, if it snows the schools are so close together they are likely to both be shut, and we get school holidays together.

Had I NOT taken the step of retraining and then working, my now EX husband would be on a good salary and I would not, and I would resent this massively. As it is, I earn a fair bit more than him.

Having said all that, I still managed to get myself into post-divorce debt!

quinechinoise

guruchelles wrote: »

What I'm hearing is that it works best if you have a family member to care for your children and/or you can get hours when your OH is at home.

I think this is definitely true. It is a struggle if grandparents live in a different location and/or husband works away from home, even part of the year.

It's not just childcare costs - it's the reality of childcare, flexible hours and sickness cover. It doesn't work very well unless you have additional backup.

Person_one

peachyprice wrote: »

That's only £150 a week, for a family of 5 that's about what I spend in Sainsbury's,I don't think it's that outlandish TBH.

I only get paid £12,000 a year so it does seem pretty outlandish to me! I guess it all depends on your circumstances but it sounds like a huge number.

tenuissent

I had a succession of au pair girls when my children were small, which I realise is only possible if you have a spare bedroom, money for her pocket money, and can stand another person being around all the time. I was a part time teacher.

I'd like to ask the question from a different angle, which I hope is relevant. My daughter-in-law needs to earn money and we are thinking of looking after children after school, and being emergency backup for working mothers. My own daughter is a full time hospital doctor and thinks there is a great demand for this sort of thing. She also points out that their house would have to be made extra safe for children, and she should offer homework supervision, book reading and other purposeful occupations.

But how much would anyone pay for this service? And what qualifications would they expect her to have, apart from a First Aid Certificate and CRB check?

mad_mam_of2

my OH and i were self employed when we had our first son, job sharing, then on busy days when we both worked my mum looked after our son. we then moved away and had no family support. I got a full time job, my OH was a stay at home dad. I got pregnant, had another son, cut down my hours and my OH got a full time job, baby went to nursery 2 days a week, and nursery used to pick number 1 son up after school, i then picked tem up on my way home. Nursery decided they would stop collecting from school and having no other childcare available I gave up work to be a stay at home mum, OH made redundant after 4 months, no other income and no choice but for me to go back full time. my OH is now at home again and yes its a struggle financially, my wage is £1300 a month and tax credits £500, he is not entitled to any benefits but we have never had much money, we are just careful with what we have. Around holiday time i do overtime to get extra spends and my mum is great and always gives the boys their holiday spending money. In the current climate you just have to smile and carry on!

AnnieO1234

Started my own business when DS was 5/6 months - hourly rate wise it far exceeds my previous salary which while above national average meant almost 4 hours commute each day, DS would need to have been in onsite child care which even after vouchers etc would have cost 400 a week! Plus transport and clothes it just wasn't worth it.

I know I've been lucky, I can take time off at will and increase my hours as DS gets more independent; but it was hard in the beginning working well into the small hours some days to get things done. But I wouldn't change it for the world.

X

lowlitmemory

I have one child and can easily afford childcare at the moment. My H is going to start doing 4 long days at work and having Mondays off to care for our baby. I will (hopefully) be going down to 3 days a week. This means the baby only needs to go into childcare 2 days a week which is mostly covered by our childcare vouchers.

I've estimated that if we want another child in a couple of years' time, we'll need about £10k to cover the 'shortfall' of having two in childcare until the eldest starts school. So we are saving for this now.

There's no way I'd give up my job personally, it keeps me sane! H earns the same as me so he could give up his job when we have two, but we'd still have had to save money to cover the 'shortfall' (couldn't manage on just one wage) so what's the point of him giving up a secure job, is our feeling, when it's not long until school starts and then he'd have a big gap in his work history.

JimmyTheWig

tenuissent wrote: »

My daughter-in-law needs to earn money and we are thinking of looking after children after school, and being emergency backup for working mothers.

Do you mean being a childminder?