dumped (when evicted)

JimmyTheWig

Peater wrote: »

Severe the connections, but not in a nasty way.

Maybe a courtesy message saying 'Hi, just so you know i am removing you from my facebook account. I need some time to get my head straight and seeing your updates etc isn't healthy for me. Hope you understand blah blah blah. All the best."

I agree with this.

Depending on what your email says, you may want to incorporate this into the email and send it as one final contact.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

I went out with a clingy, needy, why is everything always going wrong for poor me, I'm broke, I can't get you a present, type of bloke.


He eventually gave up his flat because he was lonely in there and it was in poor condition. But not to move somewhere else, he made himself homeless because he thought I would swoop in and he could live in my house permanently if he said he had nowhere else to go.


I said no.


He had tried a couple of times before suggesting it, I felt more like it was threatened, but he obviously had decided to up the stakes and force me (he thought) into being his mummy.

He was still living with his mum 18 months later, having been turned down for the one bedsit he went to look at, he stopped trying.


Perhaps you gave out signals like that?


Anyhow, delete her details, block her and sort yourself out.

podperson

I've been with my OH a lot of years and over that time he's suffered from depression, anxiety, social phobia, various other bits - while I love him to bits then quite frankly it can be exhausting providing constant support. There have been times when I have been at the end of my tether and have considered leaving, so if you're in a similar situation then I do understand a bit of your girlfriend's pov.

At the moment if you're trying to get back together then you're in the same situation and all those issues are still going to be there. What I think you need to do is concentrate on getting help and support to help you with these problems - while I don't think my OH will ever be 100% 'cured' then he can at least function to a better degree in society and I don't feel like I have to constantly 'prop him up' to the same level.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

podperson wrote: »

I've been with my OH a lot of years and over that time he's suffered from depression, anxiety, social phobia, various other bits - while I love him to bits then quite frankly it can be exhausting providing constant support. There have been times when I have been at the end of my tether and have considered leaving, so if you're in a similar situation then I do understand a bit of your girlfriend's pov.

At the moment if you're trying to get back together then you're in the same situation and all those issues are still going to be there. What I think you need to do is concentrate on getting help and support to help you with these problems - while I don't think my OH will ever be 100% 'cured' then he can at least function to a better degree in society and I don't feel like I have to constantly 'prop him up' to the same level.

There's only one error there - she's his EX, not his girlfriend.




Nothing worse than somebody who clings on even tighter when they've been told it is over. It's scary, freaky and really, really unnerving for the other person.

podperson

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

There's only one error there - she's his EX, not his girlfriend.




Nothing worse than somebody who clings on even tighter when they've been told it is over. It's scary, freaky and really, really unnerving for the other person.

I didn't mean to suggest that he do it with the sole aim of getting his ex back - but more so that it will improve his general position in terms of any future relationship. Perhaps he might get back with this girl in the future, perhaps not - we can't know (and for what it's worth I agree with the backing off and giving her space at the moment). But I was merely pointing out that's it's unlikely to happen with him being in the position he is at the moment.

mira666

Trust me I know i have a lot of issues to sort right now, I have a 5 step plan and anything involving my ex is right at the bottom, right now I have a homeless application to complete and a flat to find, then dealing with my health issues and getting back to work. Then and only then can i deal with anything else

Robin_TBW

Delete her from Facebook (and Twitter, and anything else) and then tell yourself you're never going to get back with her. When you can do that, you'll be fine.

Might sound harsh but if a relationship ends, it's for a reason and you shouldn't just try and get that back because it was previous comfortable and used to be good. There are billions of others in this world, there's no such thing as "the one".

ValHaller

georgiesmum wrote: »

She undoubtedly feels guilty and is still fond of you.

Not helpful

shiny76

mira666 wrote: »

thanks guys, I appreciate everything you've said

Good. Now please act upon it.

I wish I had had that level of honest, straight talking advise about 7 years ago. I wasted another 18 months hoping she'd change her mind. I then came to my senses. Moved on, had lots of fun and now very happily married!