dumped (when evicted)

mira666

hey guys, a lot of you will have seen my post about my threatening landlord but alongside that I was dumped by my girlfriend of 5 years.

We didn't live together (she still lives with her parents) and she has always been much better off than I will ever dream to be.

I suffer from severe depression, anxiety and stress and have been known to get very emotional at the slightest thing. She stuck by me through all of this (i know it was difficult for her and i appreciated every day that she did)

the day after i found out i was being evicted, she asked me to meet her after work and told me it wasn't working. as you can imagine this has left me heartbroken after so many years. Part of me doesn't blame her for dumping me as am sure it hasn't been easy for her.

I'm lucky that a lot of friends have stepped in to help, but I still want her back, she hasn't deleted me off facebook or twitter so she can see everything i post (although she doesn't comment or reply). I tried texting her last week just asking how she is, got no reply. I had a snide message from one of her friends yesterday saying that she had made the right decision and was better off without me.

I sat and wrote down all my thoughts in an email, but dunno if i should send it to her or not

basically my life seems like one big mess, although am sure people will tell me i will get through it, i just want to know the best way to proceed.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow

You cannot proceed. Your girlfriend has decided she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you and, (in this country anyway) BOTH people have to want to be in a relationship. Not just one person.

I'm sorry . I know it's painful but you'll get over this in time. Just let her go and please don't e-mail or contact her. It may be unwelcome.

VestanPance

Best way to proceed.

Right now cut all contact with you ex until you are over her. Do not go looking at her Facebook status or that of her friends. In fact you are best removing her or stopping receiving her updates just now and in no way what so ever send her texts or call her. Spending any time trying to contact her or wondering what she is going is only going to make you miserable.

Secondly try and spend as much time with friends. People that you can have a laugh and a joke with or at least keep yourself occupied and stop you from sitting alone with nothing but your thoughts.

Thirdly sort yourself out with a new place to stay. If the old landlord gave you trouble then look on this as an opportunity to get a better place with a better landlord.

boo2410

DON'T send the email. It may make you feel better in the short term but believe me, you'll regret it somewhere down the line. Things may seem bad now but everything happens for a reason. Maintain your dignity at all costs, even if it hurts like hell. If she wants to come back to you she will. And if not, there will be someone else out there for you and they will turn up when you are least expecting it.

pinkduvetdiva

The best way to proceed is alone OP. You can't make someone want to be with you, no matter how much you want to be with her. Delete her number, get rid of her email, unfriend her from FB and don't contact her. You won't feel like it now, but eventually it'll work out - either with or without her.
:grouphug:

pinkshoes

The relationship is over, so cut your ties with her, and move on.

You will meet someone else one day...

scooby088

OP best thing to do is delete the email you wrote, delete her off twitter and facebook and her number, It'll take a good few months to get over her, but in the long run you will be better off.

Peater

Severe the connections, but not in a nasty way.

Maybe a courtesy message saying 'Hi, just so you know i am removing you from my facebook account. I need some time to get my head straight and seeing your updates etc isn't healthy for me. Hope you understand blah blah blah. All the best."

As for the relationship, as others have said. It sounds like it's done.

Don't be angry/bitter with her. Not to be rude, but you sound like a very emotionally needy person. It doesn't make her a bad person that she doesn't want your complications in her life as well as her own anymore.

Move on, move up, get some PMA!

mira666

thanks guys, I appreciate everything you've said

georgiesmum

Ask yourself, would you take on somebody with so many problems? She has most likely had enough and there is no fun in the relationship any more. She undoubtedly feels guilty and is still fond of you.So i think the best thing for you is to get your life together and back on track. This romance is dead, don't try to resurrect it.

Robin_TBW

Delete her from Facebook. Out of sight, out of mind. Keep active.

I had the worst relationship end you could ever imagine about two years ago and still struggle with it now (not because of her but other reasons). Now, I want to continue being single and realise how much effort it is to have someone else in my life when what is offered in return doesn't really matter as much. I prefer having a lot of free time etc.