help - do I relocate?

Willing2Learn

lulabelle wrote: »

oh my gish W2L - what a fantastic post. My best friend is a consultant clinical psychologist and you sound just like her!

Thanks. I also work in that sector. I'm a little concerned now though, as it appears evident that mental health professionals somehow lose the capacity to talk (or write) like a normal person.

lulabelle wrote: »

I think you're right, it would be easy just to stay and to continue on this path because I know that to do so, I'll be sorted for the future because of the role I have and the experience I'm building - I'm probably in the best position career wise of all my friends who work in the same industry (who, incidentally, keep pointing that out to me and say I'd be throwing away all my hard work) but I've never really wanted to do the job I'm doing - it was my father who pushed me into it because he said I'd always be in work and financially secure. At a young age I didn't resist this (I was quite sheltered as a child and didn't really have any sense of self) and am now into my 12th year of this industry and don't want to leave it until it's too late to get out.

Don't know how to interpret that as I don't know you, but it is good that you have the insight and are able to reflect upon the past.

lulabelle wrote: »

Are there any books or websites you can recommend which might help me undertake a full analysis?

A full analysis? I know those are the words I used but only Freud or his ilk could carry out a full analysis. What I've done for myself (also for service users too) is to join a thought diary with a reflective journal so that I can constantly evaluate my own thoughts, emotion, behaviour and internal processes. A reflective journal is used a great deal in the mental health profession to prevent burn-out of staff due to the sheer pressure and and to help cope emotionally with any [occasionally major] incidents. It is also usually part of the training. The thought dairy is sometimes used in CBT to help patients develop the necessary skills to keep their thoughts balanced and everything in perspective.

Click here for a thought diary template
Click here for a (lengthy) BBC article about thought diaries
Click here for information on a reflective diary (Kent University - School of Psychology)
Click here for additional note on a reflective (Nottingham University)

You might also want to ask your psychologist friend for help with developing and using a reflective thought journal/diary.

lulabelle

Thanks so much - she's actually previously said I should consider some sort of CBT for some other issues I have! So, I'll check those links out! I have the fortunate pleasure of 2 very consultant clin psychologist friends and it is funny how you can tell you're in that sector from your post! I think for them they are too close to me to give me any sort of independent advice.

If I'm going to make this move there's no turning back for a number of reasons I can't go into on here so I have to be sure instinct wise it's the right thing to do and not simply a case of the fact that the last 2 years have been v tough professionally (only because they've had to be to get me to where I thought I wanted to be career wise) and that I feel majorly out of my comfort zone so am "running away" and hiding behind the "no men" excuse when it's actually just because I'm scared I can't cut it.

One thing's for sure, am not rushing into anything - if I'm going to exit this has to be a well thought out and planned move.

lulabelle

oh and an ex boyfriend is a consultant psychiatrist who worked at broadmoor so well keyed up! He used to psychoanalyse me which was irritating!!

carrielovesfanta

What a wonderful and lovely post

Willing2Learn wrote: »

Lulabelle,
Have you considered the possibility of fear, hidden within your subconscious, maybe impacting upon your decision making process? I'm not talking about the type of fear that causes the classic "fight or flight" response to be manifested. It is fear of the unknown to which I refer. The fear that causes people to plod along everyday in the same old life without taking a risk. The fear that prevents one from being able to sample all that life has to offer. The fear that tells us, in our minds eye, to hold on to what we have now, however humdrum and uninspiring, rather than going somewhere else, learning a new job, experiencing different lifestyles, new cultures and ways of partying.

It's so easy to stay put. You know what is going to happen and can plan for tomorrow, the next day, the next month, the next year, maybe even the next decade. You know roughly where you're going to live, the size of property you can afford, the type of job you will always have....It just so easy and so safe.

I'm at danger of rambling now, in your thread, for which I apologise. So I'm going to cut this short. I am trying to encourage you though, to carry out a full analysis of your thoughts, emotions and processes that are leading you toward making a decision, to consider whether a subconscious fear is causing you difficulties in reaching an appropriate conclusion that is right for your for holistic needs. After all, the final decision should not be based upon something as irrational or as basic as an instinctive fear.

365days

Hi there,

Do you know that song 'Everywhere you go, you always take the weather with you'

My take on that is you can move anywhere you like but you will still be you.

Now if you are truely happy with who you are.Great.Move and have a new adventure. But if you have any nagging doubts about who you are, moving may be a big disappointment, where your anticipated 'Fresh Start' still finds you as you. If that makes sense.

I agree with the lovely post and do some real soul searching.

I moved 9 years ago. Thought it would solve all my woes but it didn't initially as I still had a lot of the issues still inside me. Having said that, if I had never moved I may never have found the impetus to sort them out.

Hope that makes some kind of sense.

[Deleted User]

Cosmic Ordering is a great book which helped me make work/relationship changes in my life.