Getting new (snoring) partner to lose weight?

jjblondie

Hi all,

I've been seeing a lovely chap for a couple of months now, and all is good except that the three times we've slept in the same room, I've had to decamp elsewhere due to his snoring. Normally I don't wake up in the night, so it's unusual for me to be woken up and then kept up. He's now realised that this is an issue, and has said he wants to look into stop snoring stuff. I've hinted at this by sending his various snore-curing websites, but I think his problem is simply that he's overweight/probably obese (18in collar size and not that tall).

His dad half-jokingly told him at Christmas that he should eat less sugar to lose weight, and he knows he's big, but doesn't really seem bothered about doing anything about it. It's only the snoring that bothers me, and I tell him he's gorgeous just the way he is because he is, but losing weight seems like the most sensible first step to solving the issue. However, it feels like premature nagging and criticism to tell him to get in shape after so little time together. I do cook for him a few times a week, and I make healthy food, but a) he eats Greggs stuff for lunch, over which I have no control, and ready meals when I'm not there and b) I'm underweight and looking to put on a little, so can't only have salad/very low calorie stuff for dinner when we share meals. Neither of us really exercise and we're both pretty unfit - my asthma is bad in winter, though I like to cycle as far as I can (30km in summer and 700m in winter!), and he has foot and leg deformities which mean he can't run or row. We're both quite pushed for time generally too.

I guess this is part mini-lament and part looking for advice. If anyone has any tips on how to get him to lose weight without being mean or making a big thing out of it, sorting meal times or coming up with innovative exercise ideas, I'd be grateful. We might go swimming next week, which would be a start :T

Thanks in advance :beer:

Tiddlywinks

My OH has snored for as long as we've been together - 19 years - and in those early days it was a miracle I didn't murder him.

We now sleep with ambient sounds playing -not the new age whale music but just natural sounds. In our case: distant storm and rain.

It really helps me as my brain is able to focus on something else so I'm not as fixated on the snoring anymore...

Amazon does some great natural sounds mp3 downloads for just a couple of pounds so it's worth a try 'til the snoring improves.

shegirl

Honestly,I can't see it going down very well and,to be honest,you have no right to try and get him to lose weight.

You've been seeing him a couple of months and have shared a room with him 3 times...don't go pushing the poor guy to lose weight!

jjblondie

I do agree shegirl - his size doesn't bother me a jot and it's not really my place. It's just that it has come up in that he wants to do something about the snoring and losing weight seems to be the most effective solution according to the NHS website etc. I don't mind if he weighs 7st or 27st, but other solutions for it like nasal strips or sprays don't seem to have very good success rates. I guess we'll just have to muddle through various other solutions like those treatments and giving this ambient noise a shot and seeing if they work instead, then if they don't, seeing if he's more driven to do something about it. Decamping in the night doesn't bother me really, but it upsets him that I can't stand the noise.

shegirl

you do realise it's not only overweight people who snore,right?Even if he did lose weight it may not cure it...

Carl31

who says that losing weight will stop him snoring?

im not over weight, in fact im an exercise freak, and i snore like a lion

My wife says shes just got used to it now, in fact she cant sleep if im not snoring

jjblondie

I know - I've just read places like here http://www.britishsnoring.co.uk/how_to_stop_snoring.php that "Obese people are very likely to snore. Men tend to get fat around their necks and waists, whereas women seem to put in on around their thighs. It is fat around the throat that gives the problem; it tends to squash the throat in leaving less room to breathe. A middle aged man whose collar size is 16 ½" or above is predisposed to snoring."

Brighton_belle

You might find if you are unable to sleep togther very much because your disturbed nights sleep has too big an impact on you as time goes by, he might find his interest in 'giving losing weight a go' goes up.
It doesn't seem unreasonable to me for the Op to suggest it as an option worth exploring. She has made it quite clear that as far as looks are concerned she loves him just as he is. If (and I reaslise it is an if) his weight is make the snoring worse, it is at least in part 'her business' surely?

I can't see how it is not ok to want a good night's sleep or that it is ok to passively endure without tenatively making any suggestions as possible (not definite) causes, especially as he has suggested he wants to do something to improve his snoring.

MrsDrink

jjblondie wrote: »

He's now realised that this is an issue, and has said he wants to look into stop snoring stuff.

I would suggest he visits his doctors (and offer to go sit in the waiting room with him if he wants).

And I don't think for one moment the OP was saying that all fat people snore, and all snorers are fat, or that 'normal' weight people don't snore. Just that his weight may be a contributing factor.

ali-t

What about ear plugs for you OP and then it is less important whether he snores and he may decide for himself to lose weight when he sees you having to make adaptations to be able to share a room with him.

McKneff

I can see your point OP but losing weight may not do a thing.

I;m 7.5 stone and my OH says I sound like a train. He does actually say that it is worse on say Friday or Saturday when Ive had a couple of vino's