Elderly Relatives - Worried and stressed

chesky

How old is your wife's mother? Did you say her house had been sold? Has she ever thought of moving in with her parents?

Just thinking aloud here.

downshifter98

My parents were assessed by the council as Mum is seriously disabled and Dad can no longer provide full care. They now get 4 visits every day which is costing £460 per week but as their assets consist of the property that they live in (which is owned outright) and joint savings way below £46,000 (we were told that the limit is £23,000 per person) they are paying zilch and the council pay the full amount - to quote my Dad 'thank God we're skint...' never thought I'd hear him say that. Your partners grandparents should be treated the same. However, as others have said, it's too late now to do much re the property but it can't be touched whilst Gran still needs a roof over her head.

Savvy_Sue

RonHill wrote: »

They are both in their 80's, never had any problems with mobility until all this started and he stopped driving about 12 months ago. So I guess that's out. I might look how much it is to hire a mini-van with a wheelchair lift, even if it's just on birthdays and stuff that might work.

Would it not be cheaper to book a taxi with a wheelchair facility? I'd expect any reasonable sized company to have a few available, obviously you'd need to make it clear on booking what was required.

daffodil

Hope your worries get sorted out soon.:A

[Deleted User]

"Grandma is now concerned as there is pressure being put on her by the authorities to have an eligibility meeting, to assess how much she can pay towards the care etc."

I went through something very similar with my Mum and Dad. As far as I remember, your grandma can't be asked to pay towards your grandad's care - it's his money that has to be taken into account (or 50% of any joint accounts).

I found the folk at Age UK VERY helpful. I had a meeting with one of their advisers at my local Age UK office before seeing the social workers - and it really paid off. More than anything, make sure you're well informed.

It sounds like a really upsetting time - they're very lucky to have you.

Sunny_Side_Up

Hi
We've gone through a similar situation with my Dad over the last 3 years. At 81 he also developed a spinal problem, spent 5 months in hospital after having an op and was previously very fit and healthy.

The occupational therapists were good and provided different equipment and arranged physio, hydrotherapy etc. He cannot walk and has very limited use of his hands, it came on more or less overnight and he's found it hard to come to terms with. Look into what community transport is available.

We started with a wheelchair taking him out but I found it heavy going and
Dad hated the loss of independence.

Now,he has a small mobility scooter that comes to pieces which fits in the car boot and a bigger scooter which he can get out and about when we aren't around - perhaps one of the "car boot" scooters might be something to consider?

It's all a bit of a minefield and overwhelming at first. We've been lucky in that Dads had quite good care managers from the council and his gp has been supportive.

Hope it all goes ok.