Social services onto me about not having child in nursery! Advice needed

poet123

I have no issue with those who home educate as an answer to extreme and unresolved issues within the state system. It has a place and is the best option for some children.

However, I do think that it should be a last resort and that is an opinion drawn from my experiences of trying to integrate/re integrate home edders into college when they are so far removed from their peers.

I do have issues with the lack of accountability of those who home ed, and the lack of the will to be accountable by some of them. I do think that it has potential for abuse in several areas and that is not the fault of those who home educate but of those who legislate and those who oppose changes to the legislation.

Saturnalia

Bestpud, the only one to bring abuse into this is you.

My concern with home educators being unmonitored is the quality of the child's education. What they are being taught and to what level, whether they are being entered for exams so the child has qualifications at the end of their home schooling.

Being a well-meaning, well-educated parent is no guarantee this person can teach, especially if they have no educational experience and their child is their first pupil. I'd hope home educators joined support communities and learned all they could and sought advice about what they were teaching the child - and probably most are, but with no checks in place, how does anyone know?

maddeningly

I appreciate that my comments may already have been discussed, I haven't read them all, so I apologise if I am repeating myself. In 2010 my little girl broke her arm, it was a complete accident on the park but I'm not going into detail incase someone who deliberately hurts their child uses my story. We went straight to a&e and was questioned by dr after dr. Initially I was p1ssd off by the relentless questioning but it eventually dawned on me that they have seen everything, experienced every liar, heard every story. Ok they have been over zelous but one child one day may be saved because of it and that is enough me to respect their decision. And just to reply re comments about hv - my 1st told me she would be in my life till my eldest was 5 - I never saw her again, the 2nd told me my babies head was too small and it could be Edwards syndrome, she was measuring him as 9 months when he was only 7. A hv never ever turned up with my daughter 3 years ago, although we did attend clinics when I fancied it

Dasa

maddeningly wrote: »

I appreciate that my comments may already have been discussed, I haven't read them all, so I apologise if I am repeating myself. In 2010 my little girl broke her arm, it was a complete accident on the park but I'm not going into detail incase someone who deliberately hurts their child uses my story. We went straight to a&e and was questioned by dr after dr. Initially I was p1ssd off by the relentless questioning but it eventually dawned on me that they have seen everything, experienced every liar, heard every story. Ok they have been over zelous but one child one day may be saved because of it and that is enough me to respect their decision. And just to reply re comments about hv - my 1st told me she would be in my life till my eldest was 5 - I never saw her again, the 2nd told me my babies head was too small and it could be Edwards syndrome, she was measuring him as 9 months when he was only 7. A hv never ever turned up with my daughter 3 years ago, although we did attend clinics when I fancied it

At least you've brought the thread back on topic.

dawn_rose

hiya i find the more kids you have the further down the list you get shoved. Ive seen my health visitor with my third child twice once for intro visit when i had dd3 once at 7 months weaning advice leaflets ect thats it. I took her to see her at 12 months regarding the talapies in her feet needing a referal (same as my other two dd) to which she lied to me. I never went back to see her again. When ive had concerns and ihave taken my child to clinic re weighing/ excema/ toilet training. She attends a nursery and has been under physio and podiatry for her feet (no thanks to health visitor) My mum rekons im so low down on the list coz there not at risk. I've never had ss contact me for anything and id find it strange if they did. Although id gladly open my door to them to show i have nothing to hide.

johnnyl

and here is the exact hypocrisy that I speak of with "the system"

Government today happy to change the rules when it suits regarding ratios in nurseries.Does this mean the system is now right and it was wrong before?Or wrong now when it was already correct? Or, perhaps the system isnt right at all and nanny does not necessarily know best.

How idiotic is it that this very system is judging those who genuinely have their own kids best interest at heart, especially when this system can just change to reduce costs.

Dasa

johnnyl wrote: »

and here is the exact hypocrisy that I speak of with "the system"

Government today happy to change the rules when it suits regarding ratios in nurseries.Does this mean the system is now right and it was wrong before?Or wrong now when it was already correct? Or, perhaps the system isnt right at all and nanny does not necessarily know best.

How idiotic is it that this very system is judging those who genuinely have their own kids best interest at heart, especially when this system can just change to reduce costs.

Yep, had to laugh when this was on the news, and funnily enough it made me think of this thread.

nightsong

Just found this thread and I'm aware that it has mostly run out of steam, but I feel moved to make a few comments anyway

My four boys are grown up now. Two of them were home educated for part of their education. They had quite an informal time being educated at home and they are both well-adjusted university students now, fwiw. Also, one of my other boys is disabled so we had extensive experience of statementing and special education.

What I did become very aware of during my time as a home-educator was the law relating to children and education. I also worked as a school counsellor for many years so I'm also well aware of child protection.

The point is this. Parents have the PRIMARY responsibility for their children's welfare and education - NOT the state. We do not yet, I'm glad to say, live in a totalitarian society (though I often think we're heading that way).

This means that the state has no fundamental right to interfere with how parents bring up and educate their children unless it has reason to believe there is a problem with this. In other words, parents are presumed competent unless there is evidence to the contrary.

SCHOOL IS NOT COMPULSORY. Parents are responsible for seeing that there children are educated by means of attendance at school OR OTHERWISE. Education IS compulsory, but only from the ages of five to 16.

Given my experience with numerous health professionals I think it is quite likely that the combination of OP a) refusing visits from the HV and b) not sending her child to nursery, both of which we have established she is completely within her rights to do, may well have been enough for the HV to consider she should make a referral, basically to cover her own back. However, unles she can produce some evidence to back this up, she is WRONG. There may be other factors at play here- we don't know. Nevertheless I think there may well not be.

It's fair enough for health professionals to ask searching questions if an injured child is brought for medical attention, because after all there IS some evidence here. We had that a lot with my disabled son when he was small - he was extremely clumsy and always bumping into things, so on the few occasions when he hurt himself more seriously, he was also covered in bruises and I would have been surprised if there hadn't been concerns raised.

I'm depressed to see so many posts here saying how great nursery is, how mean it is of OP to deny her child this lovely opportunity, how much trouble the child wll have adapting if they don't go through the system, etc etc. It's not true for everyone and it's irrelevant anyway - it is HER child to bring up how she sees fit. Why should we all have to be the same? Nursery can be a great experience for children, or it can be the beginning of 13 years of misery in the education system. We are entitled to choose whether or not we want this for our children.

(By the way I completely agree with the poster who pointed out that she stayed at home till she was five and was fine - so did I and so did most people over about fifty. This obsession with education/care for tiny children is relatively new and there's nothing magic about it, in fact much of attachment theory suggests that children do better to stay at home with a primary carer until at least the age of four).

OP if you're still reading this I hope the issues have been resolved. If not I agree with the person who suggested looking on some Home Ed sites for useful advice. Otherwise, being calm always helps when dealing with the "professionals" but so does knowing your rights and standing your ground. Good luck.

fluffnutter

Yeah, you're right; it had run out of steam. But well done for resurrecting it with the same old, same old PARENTS KNOW BEST, INTERFERING STATE! carry-on.

pipkin71

Snoopinggoose wrote: »

Hi,

I've had a note put through my door from social services about information they were given from a health visitor about my child! She's 3 years old (will be 4 in March) and she's not in nursery as I chose not to send her to nursery, I also have a 7 week old baby.

Anyway a social worker has been out today and said that because myself and my partner told the health visitor we no longer needed her to come out the health visitor raised concerns with childrens services!! It's because myself and my partner told the health visitor there are other families who need there help much more than we do and we no longer required or needed them to come out to visit us as we already have a big support network! I've got 4 sisters, my partner has got 2 brothers and 7 aunties on his dads side, 3 uncles and 2 aunties on his mothers side etc!

I'm quite rightly fuming about this and am in the process of complaining to the health visitors manager about the conduct of her health visitor just because said health visitor wasn't happy we didn't need her (or want her) anymore!

What do you suggest I say to social services as I know for sure nursery is not compulsory nor is any schooling until my child is aged 5 years old.

Thank you.

I've only just come across this thread so haven't read all of the posts but just to say, I decided not to have health visitor involvement as it wasn't needed, as well.

As social services have visited, welcome them in [if the visit hasn't happened already] and once they see there are no concerns, they will close any case which may have been opened.

You don't need to send your child to a nursery, nor do you need to send them to school, if you choose not to but, chances are, the health visitor reported the matter due to you saying you wanted no further contact, even though that in itself does not raise a child protection issue.

Will read the rest of the thread to see if there are any updates but hopefully you will have had no further issues