Advice needed re house after separating ...

ConfusedUser

I tried that a few months ago - she did not take it very well and screamed down the phone that I would never live under the same roof again!!!

rpc

ConfusedUser wrote: »

I tried that a few months ago - she did not take it very well and screamed down the phone that I would never live under the same roof again!!!

It isn't up to her. It's your house...

ConfusedUser

The reason I moved out in the first place was so as to not upset the Children, as it would not have been a comfortable, happy atmosphere with their Mother and Father living under the same roof but "not together" so to speak. it would simply not be fair on the Children!

RAS

Hi - this is your house as much as hers. If you are joint tenants then you are entitled to live inthe house.

She is relying on you not want to upset the children in order to shaft you. You need to learn to fight back.

I bet she would come to an agreement a lot faster with you in the house.

Vortex1

I have to agree with the above. Having recently been through similar the best bit of advice I was given was not to move out regardless of how painful. I fully understand you wishing to protect the kids however I also know full well how they can be used as a weapon. Your kids need you too and by letting their mother walk all over you financially I am sure you are not in the best place emotionally for your kids. Yes the atmosphere will be rough for a time but unless you move back in your ex has absolutely zero incentive to progress things.

One question, is there enough equity in the house for you both to have a big enough deposit towards a suitable house each (suitable doesn't mean similar to the one she is in now!)

FBaby

I don't agree that you should get 50% of whatever equity is raised from separation time to when your child turns 18 if she paid the full amount. The fact that you were not able to buy something during that time doesn't mean that you should be entitled to 50%.

What I think would be fair is 50/50 up to the time of separation, then say 10-20% of the remaining on the basis that it had an impact on your ability to invest elsewhere, but certainly not 50/50 of the whole amount, especially if she is currently paying a large amount each month.