Advice needed re house after separating ...

ConfusedUser

Hi there

Can anyone help me with some advice please? My situation is that I was with my Partner for 19 years and we have 4 Children together. She told me one day, back in March 2011 that our relationship was over. It was a huge, no gargantuan shock for me and when I realised she was serious, I ended up moving out. She basically said she was not going to leave her Children and that they needed their home, so I should leave. I moved out to a friends' place for a few months whilst I saved for the deposit on a rented flat. We have a mortgage in joint names on our property which we have had since 2001. At the time I moved out there was approximately £100K of equity. The thing is, because I have to pay rent on the place I now live in on top of the full amount of child maintenance as advised by the CSA, along with all my bills etc, I cannot pay anything towards the mortgage - all my money is accounted for. When it comes to selling the house, which we have agreed will not happen until our youngest child is 18, my e-partner (we never married) is saying that no way is it fair that the proceeds should be split 50/50 as I have not contributed to the mortgage since I left. The fact that she brought all this about and put me in this position (it really was a suprise to me) financially does not seem to figure in her reasoning. I have spoken to a solicitor and a letter has been sent advising that my departure was in no way an act of consent to handing over the rights to the house or proceeds of sale etc, but basically it seems I am unable to get a Civil Agreement signed as my ex does not agree to a 50/50 share. I should point out that our youngest will not be 18 for another 8 years and if I am able to begin paying something towards the mortgage, say if I should get a pay increase for example, then I would do what I could. I also earn commission on top of my base salary and although this is not guaranteed, I am willing to contribute an agreed percentage of this to the mortgage but this would be on an ad-hoc, not a regular, basis. So to my question - am I entitled to a 50% share of the proceeds as the mortgage is in joint names? The fact that I am paying what I can for the Children's up-keep (and I have the 3 younger ones to stay with me every weekend!) and that I am willing to assist when and if I can with mortgage payments surely indicates that I am not being unreasonable in any way - especially when none of this was my wish or doing and I lost my home and regular daily contact with my Children because of her decision! I don't know how it will ever be resolved though as I don't know if I will be able to afford to take the issue to court in 8 years to ask for a Judge to hear the case. My ex partner agrees that I am entitled to 50% of whatever the equity was at the point that I left, but she is saying that if she pays the mortgage without assistance from me (not including the child maintenance) for the next 8 years, then there is no way I should get an overall 50% share.

I hope I have explained this clearly and would like some advice and input from other people that may have been in a similar situation, or who know how the law works in situations like this. I will stress again that I have tried to be reasonable all the way with helping towards the cost of things when I can. I had to start again in a rented un-furnished place, leaving my home, my Children, my partner of 19 years and all the things we had bought together to build our home. I had to buy beds, a sofa and all the other things one needs these days. It has been anything but easy! I cannot afford to pay for any more assistance from the solicitor and just feel like I am going to lose out here in the long run!

Thanks in advance, I appreciate any advice anyone can give me!

embob74

When I split from my partner and he stayed in the property my solicitor suggested the fairest way to divide the equity was to deduct mortgage payments from the moment I left and then share half of the figure remaining.
I was quite happy with that as I wanted to be fair (FYI I left but he instigated the break-up).
I realise it seems very unfair as you did not wish for any of this to happen but I can't see that you are going to get a payment for your hurt. If you think about it objectively it is a bit cheeky to expect money out of the pot when you are not contributing to the pot.
Check you are paying the correct amount of child support (if the kids stay with you those days can be deducted) and then build your life and hopefully find happiness again x

princessdon

Get a valuation now - equity is split at this point. Get a legal document drawn up to say future equity is hers etc.

Many couples do this and good on you for not forcing the sale and allowing your children to live there.

The deed of trust will not cost a lot at all.

mgdavid

agree a smaller percentage for yourself, say 35%, and don't pay the mortgage.

mgdavid

agree a smaller percentage for yourself, say 35%, and don't pay the mortgage. There needs to be a break clause if for instance she should co-habit, or wants to sell and move on before the 8 years are up.

kingfisherblue

My ex left me and our children after 19 years together, but I stayed in the house with the kids. He moved to another part of the country to start a new family.

Our divorce was messy, but as he has to wait to get his share of the equity, it will be 50/50. The judge ruled this because my ex cannot use his share of the equity towards a new house, and he isn't gaining any interest on the money as he would have if he chose to save it. This is called a Mesher Order, although I believe that they are not used often in recent years. It was the best option for us, though. He doesn't pay anything towards the mortgage, but. As the house has been adapted for our disabled son's needs, he has to wait longer for it to be sold.

Seanymph

I don't see how you get a lower percentage - if that works then everything she currently pays towards her housing (the mortgage) she gets back in equity and everything he pays to live (his rent) is money down the drain.

How can that be fair?

She pays mortgage which is 'refunded' on the sale yet his 'housing cost' is not refundable to him?

You are right to take legal advice.

rpc

It isn't just about paying the mortgage.

While you are a party to the mortgage, you are jointly and severally liable for it and (currently) will be carrying that liability until you sell.

IMHO there are two options:

1. You remain on the mortgage, probably unable to get another one and if she defaults then you could get stuck for the whole lot. In this case you should get 50% equity at point of sale as you retain an interest and a liability. You will probably have to rent to enable her to do this, so you should get a share in the equity you could have accrued if you were free from your joint mortgage.

2. You transfer the house into her name, she takes out a mortgage in her sole name and you get a charge on the house for 50% current value (actual value to be negociated).

If she cannot get a loan to suit option 2, she should sell or follow option 1. It isn't fair to keep you on the hook for the debt (and using your salary to obtain the loan) without allowing you a share in the equity accrued while you are party to the mortgage.

silvercar

In theory, your maintenance payments for the children should be used in part to pay for a home for them. So she should be meeting the bulk of the mortgage costs. If that means she can't afford the mortgage then its time to sell up and split the proceeds (not equally as she needs a home big enough to house the kids). She then buys a new home that she can afford.

The other way of looking at it is that she has sole (adult) use of the home so should be paying you a rent amount roughly equivalent to what it would cost to rent a room in your home (lodger rate) and in return you pay half the mortgage.

Ideally the mortgage should be moved to interest only and you calculate the percentage of equity in the property and agree a split of that for when it is sold. So if the property is worth £300k and you have a £100k mortgage there is £200k equity which is 2/3 the value - so 1/3 each. When the youngest is 18 you sell up and the mortgage is cleared and you get 1/3 of the property value. This assumes she has been paying the mortgage along the way from maintenance or employment.

ConfusedUser

Thanks very much to all who have replied so far. The thing is, she is adamant that there is no way i will be granted half the proceeds and she is not willing to discuss any agreement, so it's not even as if I can get something drawn up that at least protects my interests until the time comes to sell. The way i see it is that if she had not decided I was no longer "required" (and curiously enough someone else appeared on the scene a few months after my departure, but did not live in the house before you ask), I would still be in my home, with my Children etc and not having to pay rent and all the bills that go with it. Is my only option here to wait it out until my youngest is 18 and then if she is still not willing to be reasonable, try and finance a court hearing? The other thing is, she is saying that I am not contributing to the maintenance of the property - well she kind of let it go a bit after I moved out and her Parents are now getting it back to its former "glory" - not my doing but she seems to think it is yet another reason why I am not entitled to a 50% share. I am unable to get another mortgage as my name is on the current one and so in 8 years time, I will be in my mid 50's and not certain to even get another mortgage, even if I did have half the proceeds to use as a deposit!

RAS

This is one of the problems of an unmarried breakdown. If you had been married it would be part of the divorce settlement.

I think you need to start by moving back in and establishing your rights again.

Tell her either you live there and contribute to the mortgage or you sell now.