Kids using gay as an insult

quietheart

My boys are 11 and 9 and most of their friends seem to think this is fine.
I feel I have to say something, I can't let it go. At the same time I don't like 'telling off' other peoples kids. How do others deal with this.
My husband is a teacher and feels this is getting more and more commonplace. Racism won't be tolerated but homophobia is.

Jox

Gay used to mean happy so tell the boys that they are just calling each other happy

Own_My_Own

Jox wrote: »

Gay used to mean happy so tell the boys that they are just calling each other happy

My Grandfather always used to say he'd had a gay day, when ever we took him out.

Carpi09

Most 9 year olds won't use 'Gay' as homophobic, they use it generally as you say as an insult/joke to anyone who annoys them as you would say. It has nothing to do with homophobia.

However, if they know the true meaning and are personally attacking an individual who is gay, then this should be delt with accordingly.

Your husband is right, it is a common place.

You have no right in talking to other parents kids, if you have a problem with them, go speak to the parents and let them deal with their own children.

Please see this video

or if you have some humour: video

fluffnutter

It was !!!!!! in my day. Each generation has its own politically incorrect set of insults. Just do what parents have always done - say 'That's not a nice word to use as an insult. There's nothing wrong with being gay' and leave it at that.

TBH, I don't actually see it as homophobia. Today's generation of kids are probably far more tolerant of homosexuality than previous ones. It's just the word of the moment. Just like 'retard' or '!!!!!!' or, famously, 'Joey' (after Joey Deacon on Blue Peter). Kids use words like this. I don't think you need to equate playground insults with conscientious marginalising and bullying of particular groups in society. Kids are just thoughtless.

gingin_2

I don't think you need to tell them off but if it's in your house/car you can just say calmly that in your house you'd prefer them not to use that word in that context within your earshot.

It does alarm me slightly, I live on the route home from a senior school and hear it all the time.

Gloomendoom

quietheart wrote: »

My boys are 11 and 9 and most of their friends seem to think this is fine.
I feel I have to say something, I can't let it go. At the same time I don't like 'telling off' other peoples kids. How do others deal with this.
My husband is a teacher and feels this is getting more and more commonplace. Racism won't be tolerated but homophobia is.

That is because it isn't homophobic any more. The meaning has changed... again.

I work with young adults and the term is in common usage, usually used to describe something they don't like or agree with.

marisco_2

When are these comments being made? If it is at the school then an adult should be made aware of it. Homophobic comments made at school are taken seriously. A teacher could deal with this situation in a subtle way by doing a circle time or PSHE lesson on respecting others choices and what is and isn't acceptable to say about others.

If these comments are being made out of school then I would not recommend 'telling off' other peoples children. I think it would be more effective to let the parents know what is going on and letting them deal with it. I would appreciate another parent making me aware if my sons were doing this. They are 7 and 10 and understand the meaning of the word and that it should not be used disrespectfully.

quietheart

Carpi09 wrote: »

Most 9 year olds won't use 'Gay' as homophobic, they use it generally as you say as an insult/joke to anyone who annoys them as you would say. It has nothing to do with homophobia.

It does actually. My son was called gay for getting changed in the same room as his friend. And the child involved is homophobic, he says he hates gay people and they'll burn in hell. :eek:

UsernameAlreadyExists

Carpi09 wrote: »

...
However, if they know the true meaning and are personally attacking an individual who is gay, then this should be delt with accordingly.
...

Huh? The irony is that if they were wanting to offend a gay person, then it's unlikely they'd use the word "gay" itself as it's not actually insulting - it's more a statement of fact. I am sure they'd use any number of other expletives!

fluffnutter

quietheart wrote: »

It does actually. My son was called gay for getting changed in the same room as his friend. And the child involved is homophobic, he says he hates gay people and they'll burn in hell. :eek:

He's just repeating what he's heard. I'd say his parents are probably homophobic - he's too young to be labelled in this way. He doesn't know what he thinks yet.