Weird phone calls

Annenon

The problem is exasperated when they use autodialers. We're unlisted and only give the number to trusted people, but we do get the occasional one come through using these dialers.

That said we have fun with them by feeding them absolute rubbish, wasting their time and costing them money. The conversation below actually took place and shows just how much they (don't) listen.

Prat: Good Evening Sir, Have you had any road traffic accidents in past twelve months?

Me: Oh, yes I have as a matter of fact

Prat (glee in voice): Oh, am sorry to hear that sir, could you tell me what happened?

Me: Well...I was hit by by bus, and sadly it killed me at the scene.

Prat: So, what exactly were your injuries?

Me (now trying to keep a straight face): Hmm, well my femur, was completely shattered, my ulna was broken in three places, my third rib down punctured my right lung and my hyoid bone was completely broken in two.

Prat: Sounds nasty, you must have undergone long term health problems with those injuries?

Me: Ooh well, they were very painful, the Coroner did put COD as the broken hyoid bone and said it was fairly instantaneous.

Prat: Oh, I see so what have been the long term effects to your health since the accident?

Me (now desperately trying not to pee my sides): Well they first buried me, but then exhumed me to re-examine the injuries. I couldn't help oozing all over the mortuary floor.

Prat (He might have cottoned on here): Er, sorry sir, I don't think I caught that right.

Me: Oh yes I made a right mess and because of the bio-hazard they're going to cremate me next week.

Prat: Silence

Me: You still there?

Prat: Long continuous tone from phone

Me: Aww! I think he's hung up and there me looking forward to all that nice compensation for my death!

Yes, this surreal conversation did take place! Fun winding up coldcallers!

Never try to sell me something when I am watching CSI!