My bid to bust that mortgage

Pennypincher2

Hello,

Thank you for all the kind words, now just so you know, escaping digging garden and said I would wash walls and start painting so if I run off quickly dont be alarmed....

Timmy, hello.

Pennypincher2

Jodles, I did the save the date cards on brown card with a stamp set and glitter, beauts they were. Uncle of groom have offered to do invites for us so I am assuming he wasnt so keen.
Lexington, you are doing fab Mr. What are you on about. Hey give yourself a big old pat on the back x

Pennypincher2

Right back to your Mr Herestohope.
Very sorry. It is difficult to put into words but the best thing someone said to me and I say it now cos it dismisses the situation without expressing the enormous loss, sadness, disappointment and loss of years of trust is... 'we love gay people, we really love them BUT and this is the big BUT you don't want one for your husband or wife' . Also you will tire of people telling you how brave your wife is. Undoubtedly very brave (but for you it is not relevant, that is her brave thing, for you, you need to recover from this and let her be brave with her friends and loved ones of which you no longer are), you and I could have done with that bravery earlier in the relationship and for me the word is deceit rather than bravery. Now I don't want to offend anyone and I dont want anyone marking this message as homophobic or anything nasty because I am not at all but when your husband or wife leaves you for what ever reason I think you are allowed to be sad and angry and express your loss in words.
I dont come on this website often cos usually I am ashamed of my dismal progress and constant goal re arranging but please write if you want to chat cos I am a good ear and can p m you rude retorts to make you laugh about the madness of your unfolding marriage and madness of the newly outed. The problem you may also find it that she will be used to having you as her husband so supporting her and therefore she will wish to discuss her new life with you and her relationships and how she is finding her way in the new community she now exists, for me I don't want to know. It makes me weird to know too much about this other life. I didn't want to be this knowledgeable cos I wanted to find a nice man who liked me for who I was and not think I was weird cos I knew all about Grinder and Sauna rooms etc. Yes you see. As I have said to bad ex husband, it is not my secret, don't fill my head with your stuff cos its not my stuff and I dont want to cart it around, my head is full up with all my own madness. Anyway, I know you will relate at least to some of what I have said. Very few will really understand your loss and sadness. But you know you will be ok and so will the wife. You will find the life you should have had and be happier and so will she. You will have regrets, I am sure, as I do but you sit alongside them as you do all bereavements and you will. My financial advice is always a bit rubbish but here goes, spend as little as possible, save as much as possible and keep your fingers crossed (and your eyes if you can too). Have a lovely week, much love and happiness being sent to you today by me (and that cant be bad) xxx

Pennypincher2

Happy Christmas everyone,

No mortgage paid off recently but no Christmas debt at all. This I am happy with. I have nearly all my wedding money saved, about £170 left to save in the next 6 months, we have booked a holiday on a canal boat so will need to stash away another £450 for that.

Start new job beginning of January full time, gulp yep. First full time post properly since having the kids nearly 12 yrs ago. I wasn't going to overpay mortgage till wedding but nearly saved for and I think if I get paid properly end of January will recommence then unless they mess up my money (which is very possible).

So all good. I have a close family funeral coming up so I might need to contribute to this but I am determined not to get stressed. I am trying to use the Magic and the Secret to feel more positive about my finances and stop obsessing the minuscule details.

Once I actually get some extra money paid off mortgage will write again...

x happy 2015...

TimmySaver

Well done on making sure you had no Christmas debt. It sounds like your wedding saving is going really well too.

Best of luck starting your new job - I hope it's a nice place and you get on well there.

Hope you had a lovely Christmas.

Happy 2015

in_need_of_direction

Hi penny pincher. Just stumbled across your diary. I too ended up with a massive to me mortgage debt following a split from my OH. At the time, my solicitor advised that I was being too generous but I thought it easier to deal with money matters than protracted arguments over money. We still aren't divorced despite having been apart for 10 years. There are complicated reasons not least my being unwilling to indulge his playing the victim. Anyhow, what I'm trying to say is that you do what you need to at the time. Just try not to regret the £5k too much. I think you are doing so well. Stick at it.

Pennypincher2

Thank you INOD and TS

Thank you lovely people, happy happy 2015 good health and happiness.

I love the 'determined to stop defining myself by my mistakes'. I have announced (feel a scary announcement) that I am not dieting any more. I need to loose weight, no doubt, but I find dieting very destructive and moral eroding. I am overweight and need to improve my lifestyle not undermine my self esteem in the process. So I may be the bride with the biggest bum!!! Here's hoping eh.

Anyway all good I have my health, my humour, two fantastic children and a lovely man who is scrumptious and handy with a chisel so what could be finer. I could tell you the less good things but really why bother it wont improve things

Really I love to chat but feel I shouldnt write without an amount of money paid off mortgage....

Bye

Pennypincher2

Married end of May, perfect, lovely wedding waiting for photos and some pressies to come too. I am so lucky and so is he. Still in honeymoon period hope it lasts and lasts.

Debt from wedding left - ta da - nil

Money in savings - ta da - £1
money I have entirely - ta da (including the £1.00 is, drum roll, £133) fantastic (dont tell my Mum eh).

Debt on mortgage £120,923.53
child care for summer hols paid £410
canal boat holiday paid for and counting down to it...

Daughter needs new bike (by new I mean new for her as her legs have got longer)

So pay day on Friday. Target £200 per month over pay to get my mortgage paid off 5 years earlier than 65.

Try to get £1500 saved for some sort of safety net, try to keep working full time and if I nearly have a breakdown reduce to 30 hours per week or if they move me back to shifts then quickly change my hours before I find myself even more tired than normal

Also to go to bed at 2200hr 4 nights a week, pilates once a week, walk dog 3 times a week and give up sugar over the next 4 weeks to improve my sleeping and skin and my blood sugars. And yes my bottom is big and was huge for my wedding but I did marry a man who loves me as I am (but doesn't want me bigger!!).

So shall update once pay day has come.

Good tidings to all x Nice to finally be back x

stedwell

Hi PP2
Glad to hear that life is going so well for you. :T
Have fun on the boat!

TimmySaver

Congratulations on your wedding. I hope you have many happy years together.

Best of luck meeting your £200 per month target