does he want me or my money

magentadreamer

If you're having doubts about it then that speaks volumes IMHO. You've only known him a few months and he wants to move in? If you really like him then I'd suggest you did carry on dating but just make sure he leaves nothing more than his tooth brush in your bathroom!

jackie_w

Hi There,

He sounds just like my friends man!!!!

My friend is 31. Last year she met up with a guy who had financial problems, was living in rented accomodation, and didnt have a job.

She was going out with him for 6 months, when he suggested moving in together. She has a brilliant job, she has her own house (which was mortgage free, her parents unfortunately passed away & she was left alot of money), she had her own car, great clothes, brilliant social life & holidays.

Now, shes with this freeloader, she has had to take out a small mortgage on her house, because of his debts!!!!!:mad:
AND HIM,well he just sits on his fat a##e doing nothing but smoking dope, and going to the pub. He has no job, but he must think "hey its okay muggins over there will keep me":mad: :mad: :mad: Where the hell her common sense was I dont know.

Dont let that happen to you, yes by all means keep seeing him if you really want to, but, please please please, dont let him move in until hes more financially secure.

Jackie

lemontart

I was engaged to a guy years ago - and once I lost my well paid job through redundancy he suddenly realised he was the bread winner and did a runner,

another chap I dated earnt a lot less for me and even his 4 kids started asking for money off me.................which really annoyed me.

Garnet_Gem

i would try to forget about him. Maybe you're feeling a bit lonely but you're worthier of someone better in your life. You won't meet the better person while you're with the loser.

Errata

You say he wants to move in with you so he can look after you? You look after yourself superbly, so what's his point? Have him as a boyfie by all means, but after only 3 months neither of you know each other very well and you both need more time to get to know each other. Even pregnancies take 9 months!

Lady_E

You know what you are up against , being very blunt , ditch the loser and find someone who is worthy of you . You are worth a good deal more than anything he could ever provide .

Angel777

Hi, i dated a man 2 years ago. I have my own house, car, good job thank god. He was 4 years older than me, had debts of a loan, could not get credit and was living at home with his parents as he could not get a mortgage and had no savings at all.

I genuinely liked him and did not look at it in money terms BUT, i found that it quickly made a big difference.

I realised that if we did eventually get together that i would have to have everything in my name, he would live in my house, i just did not feel comfortable as i have worked for everything i have.

He turned out to be not good for me. He would complain when i would have to go away to meetings which i do regularly for the job i do. He turned out not to be supportive and he was jealous. He turned out to be quite possessive and i am glad that i saw it quickly.

I thought about what my future would be like with a man like that and i did not think that i wanted to live like that at all.

It was hard but i am SO HAPPY that i walked away from it.

I think on the surface it is money issues but in my case these went further to uncover other problems caused by the fact that i am ambitious and work hard and he was not/did not.

Hope this helps.

Errata

Angel, your story sounds very familiar. I think I once dated his clone !
Let's face it, people are successful for a reason, and also unsuccessful for a reason.

the_other_mce

Hi - I hope you can work out your dilemma... I will add my two-pennies worth though: there is a big difference between LOVE and MONEY.
Years ago I earned far more than my DH, much better job,prospects etc and sometimes people would say to me I was a mug. However I really loved him (always have, always will) and I hit a rough patch in my life (parent died, lost job, 2 kids in just over a year) and he was always there for me - working his best and being a lovely hubbie and dad. I now only work part-time (still earn good money) but I get to be a REAL mum to our children and he is a star! I was also able to stay at home with the children for 6 years while he was the breadwinner and that is worth more than all the money in the world. My life is complete with him in it.......
After 25 years together I know that LOVE is what counts, people have different priorities and opportunities in life. Money and possessions are great but I know many 40 something (lonely) people who are financially solvent but would kill to have what I have...
What is your heart telling you????

Katiet_2

You sound like an intelligent, confident woman. If you are happy in your life why risk things by moving too fast with a guy you're not sure about?
If you are right to be unsure you will lose money and confidence.
If you date him on your terms, you will know in a few years whether you can trust him or not.
I say date him... but don't let him move in. X