right to see the kids

DUTR

Alpine wrote: »

Sadly, there is little you can do. I went through the same thing, but I had a very good and honest solicitor. She said that I could spend thousands of pounds going through the courts to get visitation rights, but in the end it is a worthless piece of paper. Why? Because there is not a single court in the land that would send a mother to prison (or punish her in any way) if she continued to mess you about with access as it would affect the children adversely.

If you want to see your kids, it may pain you, but you need to be as nice as you can to your ex, don't plan anything around the kids without having her express permission and be as flexible as you can be.

Thankfully there is plenty that can be done, a lot of people don't go the full length as an agreement is arranged before a court order is actioned, my friend didn't opt for the 'worthless piece of paper'
Any court in the land will punish for contempt of court, do you think Mums are immune from punishement?

Alpine

DUTR wrote: »

Any court in the land will punish for contempt of court, do you think Mums are immune from punishement?

I will gladly concede if you can provide proof of the said punishments (that are actually punishments and not just a slap on the wrist)?

dazrs

My children are 16 months and 4 years olds he at preschool. I did arrange it with her nr christmas i even got all the dates, some how she reckons this was never discussed when it was as i needed dates to arrange time off work, and she only knew them. When i see them at week ends, i hardly have any alone time with them as she there, as i stay on the couch how ever she does sometimes go out on sat but there then in bed. I even told her to go out in the day so i can spend time with them. Instead i was mainly doing DIY jobs for her, now she making things hard for me as she reckons it my responsiblty to maintain the car, and going on about safety of her kids, i know the wheel bearings going but she wants me to sort it. I work at a garage where i live in parts im not a mechanic so i would have to bring it back to my work over 110 miles. I cant see why she cant get it done locally. I try being civil but finding it hard at the moment.

DUTR

Alpine wrote: »

I will gladly concede if you can provide proof of the said punishments (that are actually punishments and not just a slap on the wrist)?

Same here, where you can provide proof of someone getting away with the charge of contempt of court.

labyrinth84

guruchelles wrote: »

Are you certain about this bit? This would leave the PWC with no weekend time with the children, which seems a little unfair.

If a NRP went for mid-week access, then a PWC could argue about interference with school, hobbies etc. It's only fair for the children and the NRP that regular weekend access is allowed.

It takes 2 to make a baby, both parents are as important and deserving of their childrens time as the other. If Mum has them the 5 days through the week, Dads should be allowed the 2 days at weekend. Saying Mum should be able to decide to have the children through the week AND dictate weekend access implies that fathers only have a right to what Mum allows and nothing more...for the children he created...

My mum and dad split when I was 4 years old...I saw my Dad EVERY weekend. If my Mum would have attempted to stop this, I would have never forgiven her. But she wouldn't have attempted such a selfish thing- she knew that we were as much HIS kids as we were hers.

Mojisola

dazrs wrote: »

I even told her to go out in the day so i can spend time with them. Instead i was mainly doing DIY jobs for her, now she making things hard for me as she reckons it my responsiblty to maintain the car, and going on about safety of her kids, i know the wheel bearings going but she wants me to sort it. I work at a garage where i live in parts im not a mechanic so i would have to bring it back to my work over 110 miles. I cant see why she cant get it done locally. I try being civil but finding it hard at the moment.

Get in touch with one of the fathers' support groups. They'll have plenty of advice for dealing with an ex who is taking advantage of you.

Her household and her car are now her responsibility - that's what her benefits and child maintenance and any wages are for.

sfm82

Dasrz, are you able to afford to consult a lawyer and have access formally agreed and written down?

I find it unacceptable that she doesnt give you time alone with your kids and you basically travel all the way over to her house to be her handy man. You need to talk to her about this and be firm you are not there for her you are there to see your children...I know its easier said than done.

In my experience the longer you let her get her way or take the pee out of you the more she will do it. Its a control thing.

justlooking2012

People who are saying that it is a worthless piece of paper are VERY WRONG and ill informed. Judges have a gambit of powers now to enforce contact orders, every contact order now comes attached with a warning notice, after that there is a penal notice attached. Then there is the powers to issue fines or unpaid work(community service) and as a last resort there is change of residence. All of these things have happened, FACT.
SO please do not put someone off with your ill informed opinions as this is someones life here.

Alpine

DUTR wrote: »

Same here, where you can provide proof of someone getting away with the charge of contempt of court.

Then we have reached an impasse for I cannot prove something that has probably never happened.


I can only suggest that the lack of evidence (I would expect a Google search to return at least one UK case) weighs in my benefit that no mothers have been punished. I would have expected any case such as this to make the news due to the possible interest from groups like Fathers 4 Justice.


Recent articles from June 2012, do talk about a change in the law to allow judges to take away passports or stop mothers going out in the evening if they deny access to the children's father. That would also suggest that little or no punishments had been previously handed out because of the severity of a jail term or a fine and the impact it would have on the children. So instead they give the soft options that are not actually punishments and something like stopping the mother going out at night is unlikely to be policed as I doubt they would tag the mother.

Alpine

justlooking2012 wrote: »

People who are saying that it is a worthless piece of paper are VERY WRONG and ill informed. Judges have a gambit of powers now to enforce contact orders, every contact order now comes attached with a warning notice, after that there is a penal notice attached. Then there is the powers to issue fines or unpaid work(community service) and as a last resort there is change of residence. All of these things have happened, FACT.
SO please do not put someone off with your ill informed opinions as this is someones life here.

Please provide the evidence of those facts. There is no denying judges have powers, but how many times have they been used?