Help with what benefits a single parent should get

iluvmarmite

justlooking2012 wrote: »

TBH I dont have a clue, I know what you mean by bidding but I really do not know all the rules. Also I have never understood why someone would want a council flat when they can have their pick of private flats but maybe im being naive.

Also im not sure of the gravity of the situation etc but leopards can change their spots and all being equal their is a definite leaning towards the mother.
A Judge would look at things like housing, and a barrister could argue that the children are living in cramped conditions.
Also get the children into schools/nursery as quickly as possible as then they are settled in school this to will go in your sons favour.
Social services are probably attempting to "work" with the mother to help her change and if all the reports come back that she has changed then her and your son will be on equal terms again, provided f course the situation is not THAT serious

There are a few drawbacks to renting privately.

You are not secure, the landlord could evict you (legally) if he wants to sell or move back himself at anytime so you could be constantly moving from place to place.

Unless you get written permission from the landlord you can't make the place your own by decorating, putting pictures up etc.

You have to find a deposit, usually one months rent, plus a months rent in advance, plus if you go through an agency you have to find agency fees, reference fees, contract fees, and inventory fees, so it can add up to a couple of thousand pounds or so.

It's rare you will find a private landlord who accepts HB or LHA, not only because a few idiots have spoiled it for decent renters on HB and trashed the place or kept the HB payment for themselves and not paid the rent, but also their insurance premiums go sky high if they take on HB claimants. Those who do accept HB claimants usually have damp horrible places that they find hard to rent out normaly.

In a council or HA house you are very secure, they never evict you unless you get into rent arrears and even then it's a long process and they do try and resolve things before going down the eviction route.

The rents are a hell of a lot cheaper in council places and no deposit or agency fees to pay,you can decorate how you like, you can hang pictures, lay your own flooring, you get a new kitchen and bathroom every 10 years or so, you can even put your own kitchen and bathrooms in if you wish to and get their permission.

The thing is now, the council or HA have no obligation to house anyone in one of their properties anymore, they will send you down the private route if they can, they will offer you a deposit, which you will have to pay back, and most have a list of landlords willing to take HB, they will say you can still bid on properties but you won't be a priority any more so could be waiting years for a home from them.
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loopylass

justlooking2012 wrote: »

TBH I dont have a clue, I know what you mean by bidding but I really do not know all the rules. Also I have never understood why someone would want a council flat when they can have their pick of private flats but maybe im being naive.

Also im not sure of the gravity of the situation etc but leopards can change their spots and all being equal their is a definite leaning towards the mother.
A Judge would look at things like housing, and a barrister could argue that the children are living in cramped conditions.
Also get the children into schools/nursery as quickly as possible as then they are settled in school this to will go in your sons favour.
Social services are probably attempting to "work" with the mother to help her change and if all the reports come back that she has changed then her and your son will be on equal terms again, provided f course the situation is not THAT serious

Hi
The older child is in pre school and 2 afternoons a week who work with social services as the all have too
Sadly i cant see it getting better not after 2 and a half years of the mother not working with the social workers and will not change her lifestyle plus it wasnt her doing te care it was her mother(childrens other nan) and they lied to ss
social worker as said it was the worst report se has ever had to write to the court so that should tell you how bad it is and its several problems which are still there as mother dont work with them and dont see there is anyting wrong

loopylass

labyrinth84 wrote: »

Got a lump in my throat reading this...so sad to hear children were not being cared for by mother, especially to the extent of Social Services getting involved but so nice to hear the children have a loving father and family who are offering them a safe and happy future

There MUST be a way of getting financial help. You would think the mother would show some remorse and just inform the relevant departments so the children she failed to look after could at least have the money allocated to them!!

Hope you get this sorted as soon as possible, and wish you all the very best

Thankyou and yes it is a sad situation and heart breaking for us to hear such things at conferences and my son is getting just income support at the moment but that all goes on things for the little ones, luckily he has us as we bought everthing for them to come here beds cots clothes etc

On a plus side they have settled in a routine now and not staying up until midnight and both eating healthy food now

iluvmarmite

If social services have said its the worst report they have ever had to write in court then whatever the mother has done must be really awful.

She obviously won't change by the sound of it so with a bit of luck your son will get full custody and all the benefits he deserves, there should be a special clause where in situations like this the child benefit is automatically stopped for the mother and given to the father with no waiting, but I don't think there is which is unfair.

It's so good to hear that the kids have a loving father, grandparents and an aunty who is willing to give up her room for them, you will see some posts moaning like hell that they have had to take kids and grand kids in and are over crowded, saying they will put them on the streets, you are the opposite and that's really really nice.

I truly wish you and your son the best of luck and hope you get things sorted PDQ

loopylass

wayne0 wrote: »

he would be better staying in your home... chances are your "over crowded" ETC,,, ? which would improve his position on the housing list (the children will need 1 room to share and him 1 room - if there is not this, then they are overcrowded)
- however, if the home is over crowded it may go against him at the hearing?

bear in mind: if he doesnt have the children after march he will only be entitled to a single room rate - and still be tied into a housing contract which HB wont pay.

if you have room then perhaps its better for him to stay - he then has your experience as a mother to aid him in raising the children (would help with the court surely?)

also: if he goes private. it will take forever to get a council place... 2 years when we were over crowded, and because we had just moved, we couldnt get the house as we no longer qualified...

private lets are hard to find for HB claimants... even if you work, they are tricky (and costly) to find. - landlords take the view that if you get HB you wont pay the rent and that you will trash the place (because a few people are like that)

People want council houses for home security. and cheaper rent ... for my self its the fact my LL only needs to give me 2 months notice... then i have nowhere to live... council is pretty much: be a good tenant, pay your rent, and its "your" house. (obviously you dont own it - but its the next best thing)

The children have a room of their own now but their dad has to share with his brothers and yes it is over crowded but it is still in a better position than what they had as before they were sleeping downstairs on a blow up mattress with their grandparents

Hmm71

I agree that your son and the children should stay with you for as long as possible rather than renting somewhere privately - if they want to get social/council housing. Once they are in a privately rented place they would not be considered a priority and would get fewer or possibly no bidding points/vouchers for social housing.

Were you asking about the Child Trust Funds in your OP? If so the children's mother will not be able to touch the money. She may get all the paperwork for it and have applied for it in the first place but only the children will be able to access the money once they turn 18.

loopylass

iluvmarmite wrote: »

If social services have said its the worst report they have ever had to write in court then whatever the mother has done must be really awful.

She obviously won't change by the sound of it so with a bit of luck your son will get full custody and all the benefits he deserves, there should be a special clause where in situations like this the child benefit is automatically stopped for the mother and given to the father with no waiting, but I don't think there is which is unfair.

It's so good to hear that the kids have a loving father, grandparents and an aunty who is willing to give up her room for them, you will see some posts moaning like hell that they have had to take kids and grand kids in and are over crowded, saying they will put them on the streets, you are the opposite and that's really really nice.

I truly wish you and your son the best of luck and hope you get things sorted PDQ

Thankyou
I have and always will support my son and grandchildren and as a family we have all made sacrifices so the little ones can come here but after what they have had to deal with so far they need to be happy, loved, and in a stable environment also needs to be in a routine and in the last 2 months thats what they have. It was hard work at first but credit to my son as he did it all and got them going to bed at a decent time witin a week now they go at 7 pm every night and sleeps through most nights. The change in these children in the last 2 months is wonderful to see and hopefully they will have the life they deserve now

justlooking2012

Do you still talk about their mum in front of them as it is best to, remember that contact will take place soon(if it is not already). So its best that seeing mummy is regarded as normal and a positive thing for them

loopylass

Hmm71 wrote: »

I agree that your son and the children should stay with you for as long as possible rather than renting somewhere privately - if they want to get social/council housing. Once they are in a privately rented place they would not be considered a priority and would get fewer or possibly no bidding points/vouchers for social housing.

Were you asking about the Child Trust Funds in your OP? If so the children's mother will not be able to touch the money. She may get all the paperwork for it and have applied for it in the first place but only the children will be able to access the money once they turn 18.

Yes i was as i know they got it oldest child born in 2010 and my son wants to add to the saving funds but not if the mother can take it. We have been told to change everything to my sons name/address but dont have any info on it as its a new thing bt im so glad its in the childrens names and the are the only ones who can get it
I dont even know if my son can add to the money as i said i dont have a clue on this new funding

loopylass

justlooking2012 wrote: »

Do you still talk about their mum in front of them as it is best to, remember that contact will take place soon(if it is not already). So its best that seeing mummy is regarded as normal and a positive thing for them

Contact with their mother is at her house at the moment although we and ss feel it needs to be in a contact centre but thats for the case in march to sort out

Whatever we think of her and what she has done to the boys we keep it positive and never talk bad of her or the situation in front of them, total opposite of what she does as she has threatened to harm my son in front of the children she has anger issues and last year attacked us in front of the oldest child resulting to police being called

The oldest child used to swear throw things hit kick his brother and everyone when he first came here and although we still see some after having contact with his mother its no way as bad as it was.