need help advice please!

tigerfeet911

i dont have any family and i am quite isolated when we moved in with him it was to a completely new town I just feel completely helpless

Treevo

If you took out debts in his name as it sounds then I'm not surprised he's keeping the money. How does he know you haven't taken on even more debt?

Legally it's his money too. You gave it to him willingly.

tigerfeet911

yes i did give him money willingly and i know i probably deserve all i get. i would not want any money except i cant move out without a deposit certainly not looking for sympathy I know that blame lies with me. I am a mum too and have been honest with my daughter about circumstances but need to move somewhere decent for her which unfortunately comes back to money.

NAR

There are issues that need resolving between you. How much do each of you want to resolve these issues? Would something like Relate help?
If there is no way back you have to sit and explain that in order for you and your daughter to move on you need most, if not all, of the £3900 to enable you and your daughter to rent and furnish a property.

tigerfeet911

yes i agree have never posted on a forum before but was feeling really desperate today. I still feel desperate but want to survive for my daughter dont want her seeing a weak woman which is what i feel.

meritaten

I too feel very uncomfortable with what your OH is doing. one minute he is cuddling and kissing you - the next he is telling you and your DD you must leave!
OK - what you did was wrong, BUT that was 15 months ago and you have resolved it.
So, why now? why kiss you then tell you to go? I think he needs to get his head straight. either you stay or you go - there is no 'halfway' here is there?
I agree with the poster who says not to let him do this to you. NO cuddles kisses etc. no ironing his shirts and getting him breakfast.
I would in fact be contacting the Housing Association or council and telling them you and DD are now homeless as your partner is throwing you out and go from there. you could also contact Shelter - I am sure they would have some good advice for you and can help you directly with form filling etc.

Sambucus_Nigra

I would be presenting him with a bill tonight for the childcare and ferrying around for the last 4 years and would not be leaving without £3900 in my pocket in cash.

Treevo

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

I would be presenting him with a bill tonight for the childcare and ferrying around for the last 4 years and would not be leaving without £3900 in my pocket in cash.

And he could counter with a much larger bill for rent and living costs for the OP and her daughter for the last four years. As well as the threat of a fraud conviction for falsely running up debts in his name.;)

Sambucus_Nigra

Treevo wrote: »

And he could counter with a much larger bill for rent and living costs for the OP and her daughter for the last four years. As well as the threat of a fraud conviction for falsely running up debts in his name.;)

Looks like you have been to the same school of 'charm'. Something in your eye?

Funny how he waited 15 months and suddenly couldn't cope once a payment had been made into his account. How :cool: is that?

Treevo

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Looks like you have been to the same school of 'charm'. Something in your eye?

Funny how he waited 15 months and suddenly couldn't cope once a payment had been made into his account. How :cool: is that?

Would that be the 15 months that he was paying for the debts that the OP ran up?

On what planet is the OP the victim here? Oh, I forgot, she's a woman so to people like you, she's always the victim.