Assertive reply needed for neighbour

princeofpounds

I would do what was suggested above about getting a couple of neutral, 'official' print-outs of how a septic tank works. Then go and talk to the neighbour and tell them that you are concerned that they are mistakenly paying too much money to have the tank emptied and why. But then you can say that they don't just have to take your word for it, and give them the literature.

Then I would tell them that they should give you some notice before booking the tanker if it is not on a regular cycle, because you need time to budget.

Only then if they react badly to a reasonable discussion would I start talking about only paying at reasonable intervals. Once you get into those situations it can only be settled in court and that means a neighbour dispute that one or both of you might have to declare if you ever move.

Once a year is not always unreasonable. If the tank is building up a layer of grease on the top it's not always the solids that mean it needs emptying.

Of course, if the soakaway pores are now blocked then maybe it really does need emptying more frequently, but then it probably also needs a new soakaway!

LannieDuck

Your budgeting isn't really the issue - if it needs doing, you'll have to find the money. Surely the question is whether it needs doing in the first place? I would simply say that I'm no longer prepared to pay if it hasn't been discussed with me in advance.

If you want to soften it, you could invite them to pop over for tea+coffee one day to have a proper chat about how you're going to deal with the septic tank going forwards.

It's going to be a bit awkward because you've accepted their bills for 5 years. But the fact that they've agreed to a 6-mth contract with the company without consulting you is a useful opening to allow you to re-negotiate.

thriftymanc

Does each property have an equal number of people living in it? If they're going to do things without telling you, I'd start getting picky about it, e.g. if there's 4 in their house but only 2 of you, tell them you're only going to pay a third of the bill from now on as they're clearly filling it up faster than you are!

ValHaller

Yorkie1 wrote: »

"Dear Neighbour

I am disappointed that you did not choose to discuss the emptying of the septic tank with me before booking the company to do so. I have previously repeatedly asked you to do so. As you have not discussed the timing of this with me, I was unable to budget for it this month. I will pay therefore pay you my 50% [next month / date], when my budget permits.

As you are aware, it is only [x] months since the septic tank was last emptied. In the [y] years since I have lived here, it has never required emptying more frequently than every [z] months / years. I enclose a leaflet which may help to clarify this (if you can find one that explains how they work in Noddy and Big Ears language).

[STRIKE]If you wish to get the septic tank emptied more frequently than this, please feel free to do so. However, I will only be prepared to contribute towards the cost of doing so every [z] months.[/STRIKE]

Yours, Frith"

Please note that after the present contribution, you are not authorised to incur this expense on our behalf without our prior consent but you may empty the tank at your sole option and expense if you are so minded.

Yorkie1

ValHaller wrote: »

Please note that after the present contribution, you are not authorised to incur this expense on our behalf without our prior consent but you may empty the tank at your sole option and expense if you are so minded.

Slightly stronger than mine but perhaps better. What the OP needs to avoid is refusing to pay altogether - because there are likely to be covenants in the house deeds stipulating joint responsibility. The exact wording of the clause will need to be checked, because it may not permit for OP to, say, only contribute 1/3 of the costs based on fewer people in his / her property.

belfastgirl23

I would just add (to the very good advice you've already received) that it's worth a lot to be on good terms with your neighbours. I'd go for inviting them to discuss in the first instance but I'd practice exactly what to say (which would be a spoken version of the above letters detailing how often it has needed emptied in the past). Give them a chance to disagree but in that case go for the broken record technique 'I appreciate what you're saying but we aren't in agreement on this and I just want you to know that I will pay half the cost of it to be emptied every xx months/years but you will need to pay yourself if you want it done more often'. Keep saying till they get that you aren't changing your mind. And don't get cross, be very very calm. Tell them that you appreciate that they have been good neighbours and try to end on a handshake. After all at least they are taking it seriously and are willing to pay their half, we get enough people on here complaining that their neighbours won't make any contribution to shared costs

Let us know how you get on!