Assertive reply needed for neighbour

Frith

Please can someone help me word a reply to my neighbour? (or just tell me if I am making a fuss over nothing!)

We share a septic tank with next door. It needs emptying fairly infrequently but they do not understand how it works and that the water flows away, leaving "solids" behind. They are getting a bit obsessed with the soak away part, looking for "damp" around the tank and insist it is full. The water level goes up and down as it drains but I can't remember the last time it has actually been full!

They keep phoning the septic tank emptying company out without asking me, or even telling me. The first thing I know about it is when I receive the bill, then I have to pay half. They have done this about every 12 months since they moved in (about 5 years ago). They have NEVER discussed it with me before hand but seem to think they are in sole charge.

I got a message from neighbour this morning saying it is being emptied today (the lorry is here now) and that it now needs doing every 6 months!!! She was fairly blunt in tone and said I need to pay etc.

How can I word a reply saying I would like to know in advance that they are booking the company in? This month I have the normal bills plus car tax plus car repairs. If they had left it a week or 2, I would have been able to budget properly.

SAHD_Jim

Frith wrote: »

Please can someone help me word a reply to my neighbour? (or just tell me if I am making a fuss over nothing!)

We share a septic tank with next door. It needs emptying fairly infrequently but they do not understand how it works and that the water flows away, leaving "solids" behind. They are getting a bit obsessed with the soak away part, looking for "damp" around the tank and insist it is full. The water level goes up and down as it drains but I can't remember the last time it has actually been full!

They keep phoning the septic tank emptying company out without asking me, or even telling me. The first thing I know about it is when I receive the bill, then I have to pay half. They have done this about every 12 months since they moved in (about 5 years ago). They have NEVER discussed it with me before hand but seem to think they are in sole charge.

I got a message from neighbour this morning saying it is being emptied today (the lorry is here now) and that it now needs doing every 6 months!!! She was fairly blunt in tone and said I need to pay etc.

How can I word a reply saying I would like to know in advance that they are booking the company in? This month I have the normal bills plus car tax plus car repairs. If they had left it a week or 2, I would have been able to budget properly.

First off I don't think you are overreacting in getting annoyed.

You've said above what you need to tell them:

I would like to know in advance that they are booking the company in - this month I have the normal bills plus car tax plus car repairs. If they had left it a week or 2, I would have been able to budget properly.

I would also establish the expected frequency of emptying the tank in your circumstances and if yours seems excessive also tell them that. Is there no way to tell for sure when it genuinely needs emptying before calling anyone?

Also as the tank is shared, surely tell the company that they need your permission as well as your neighbours before carrying out the work.

Yorkie1

"Dear Neighbour

I am disappointed that you did not choose to discuss the emptying of the septic tank with me before booking the company to do so. I have previously repeatedly asked you to do so. As you have not discussed the timing of this with me, I was unable to budget for it this month. I will pay therefore pay you my 50% [next month / date], when my budget permits.

As you are aware, it is only [x] months since the septic tank was last emptied. In the [y] years since I have lived here, it has never required emptying more frequently than every [z] months / years. I enclose a leaflet which may help to clarify this (if you can find one that explains how they work in Noddy and Big Ears language).

If you wish to get the septic tank emptied more frequently than this, please feel free to do so. However, I will only be prepared to contribute towards the cost of doing so every [z] months.

Yours, Frith"


This might be a little too confrontational, but you can tweak / delete as required.

How long have you lived there and has there been any reason for an increase in the frequency of emptying (other than a dozy neighbour)? Extra people living in the properties? Extra properties?

Edit: The company may not be prepared to agree to only come out when both you and your neighbour confirm the booking, but it might be worth asking as suggested.

Also, I'd speak to the company and ask how full the tank was. Get them to put this in writing for you, if possible. You then have something to wave at your neighbours (they won't accept it but it backs up your position).

And, by the way, are you paying the company or the neighbour? If the 50% invoice comes from the company, I'd suggest that it should be directed initially 100% to the neighbour as they are fully responsible for engaging the company i.e. entering into the contract, and for meeting the bill. They then recoup the cost from you.

Frith

I think the extreme rainfall and completely waterlogged ground around the tank hasn't helped with the soakaway part.

I also need to mention that too much detergent is stopping it from working efficiently. And that I'll ask my brother to cut the damson trees around it as the roots are very close (just scrubby trees, not an orchard).

There are more people now. The family next door is 4 people now. We only had a couple there before.

Yorkie1

So, it's possible that it might have needed emptying sooner rather than would normally expect.

In which case, perhaps still ask the company to state how full it was / how much longer you would have expected it to be before it actually needed emptying, given the number of people now involved and the weather this year. It will give you a useful barometer or point of reference.

It's up to you how formal you want the letter to be - perhaps mentioning the detergent bit might be a bit OTT unless it's in any generic information you wish to pass on. You might wish to leave that bit out, and just mention it in passing along with the tree roots?

Depends on how your general relationship with them is, and how you want it to be in the future, I suppose. They've already repeatedly ignored your wishes so appear to have very thick hides as it is.

Charliezoo

OP, this sounds like an awkward situation but you've had some good advice and I think you really need to address the problem to stop this continuing.

Is there any way you can look into getting some kind of agreement/guidelines written up for the future?

*Louise*

I would phone a different company and get some advice about how frequently the tank should be emptied.

Incidentally, how much does this sort of thing cost? Is it a lot of money to pay twice a year?

sharnad

Inform them
You will check with the company if it needed emptying an f it didn't you won't pay

Jinx

Def the downsides of sharing! We have a septic tank in our current house and the family that lived here before had it emptied yearly - there were 4 of them. We had it done the first year but then waited 2 years as there is just the 2 of us. Do you actually know the size of the tank and how long it should take to become full?

You should get a reduction in your council tax bill due to having a septic tank - could you use that as a guideline of the money to be put aside each year and do it monthly? I know our discount is a bit more than the cost to empty.

Nicki

I think getting something in writing from a neutral third party about how often it needs emptying would be an excellent start. Every 6 months sounds mad to me but I have never lived in a house which has one.

Googling, this commercial company has an advice line which might be helpful even if they aren't local to you.

http://www.greenwoodswastedisposal.co.uk/

Otherwise, may be worth forking out for a company other than the one they are using to empty the tank to come out and do an inspection and give some written advice on how to maintain them. I am sure that would cover the use of detergents, etc so you wouldn't have to broach this yourself if you got your neighbour there at the time or showed her a written report.

cheepskate_2

I would also mention that as both of you are paying, they have to have your agreement to empty it, otherwise you will not be responsible for half the costs. In another few years she will be emptying it every 3 months,lol