Full time home carers rather than putting my nan in a home help please

troubleinparadise

My mum didn't want to go in a home.... but her physical and mental decline became so great that she literally couldn't do anything for herself.

She needed feeding, was doubly incontinent, had to be turned every two hours, couldn't wash herself.... Certainly no ability to care for herself in the way she had been previously.

Perhaps we could have found a way to do that in her own home with carers and 24/7 family involvement; but we couldn't commit to that with the realities of living our own lives with jobs, children, and homes a minimum 1 hours drive away.

So I'm afraid a home it was. And if I get to that point myself, I have said to my children that that is what I wish for me too.

I have a level of guilt of course at going against what she wanted - but her needs were too great, we couldn't have met them to the standard she needed to keep her safe, watched over and cared for 24/7.

What your grandmother will need is not necessarily clearly defined just yet - she may well rally to an extent. But sometimes we have to be very honest about just what care is needed to keep someone safe for 24/7.

As for funding, it may be that your grandmother qualifies for continuing health care, and will not need to pay for it all herself.