Full time home carers rather than putting my nan in a home help please

Gothpugs

Unfortunately on christmas eve my grandmother (74) had a severe stroke

Already unwell with chrone's disease and chronic pain, this has left her seriously ill and unable to take care of herself

My mother and grandma's sisters and wanting to put her in a home, however i know for a fact that she would NOT under any circumstances want to be in a home, she used to joke to us that if ever anything were to happen to her she would rather be put down like a racehorse than end up in a home

What help is available for her in her own home rather than putting her in a care home? she was independant before with help from her family and lived alone, however now it seems if she does make it out of the hospital she will be permanantly staying on a naso gastric feeding tube and catheter etc, and will need full time care

As far as funding is concerned, would we (the family) have to pay for her to have a carer or will the gov/council provide one?

She is on disability due to being blind and with the chrones etc. and has a disability monitored bungalow with the council

I would appreciate any help that would allow me to have my grandma cared for in her own home

Mojisola

I looked into having someone live-in to care for my parents. The prices start at about £850 a week. Caring for someone with a feeding tube and catheter would cost more.

Don't turn your back on residential care until you have looked round some. My father is much happier in the good company he has in his care home than he was at home.

Has your grandma been assessed? It sounds as if she needs nursing care rather than the standard residential home.

Gothpugs

Mojisola wrote: »

I looked into having someone live-in to care for my parents. The prices start at about £850 a week. Caring for someone with a feeding tube and catheter would cost more.

Don't turn your back on residential care until you have looked round some. My father is much happier in the good company he has in his care home than he was at home.

Has your grandma been assessed? It sounds as if she needs nursing care rather than the standard residential home.

She's still in hospital at the moment, but its become apparant that she will never be independant again

Whereas my mother and my grandma's sisters want to put her in a nursing home, I know that my grandmother would not want that, and would prefer to be at home

I wanted to see if there is any way she could be cared for at her own home, rather than having to live in a home.

Would the governemt / council pay for her to have home help, as they would pay for her to be in a nursing home?

She's said herself many times she would rather be "put down" than to live in a home.

Mojisola

While she may have said that in the past, you have to keep your feet on the ground when someone does eventually need care. Until you know how much care/nursing she will need, it will be hard to judge whether it is practical to consider keeping her at home.

Our LA would not pay for a full-time home carer, only fleeting visits from carers several times a day.

miduck

Mojisola wrote: »

While she may have said that in the past, you have to keep your feet on the ground when someone does eventually need care. Until you know how much care/nursing she will need, it will be hard to judge whether it is practical to consider keeping her at home.

Our LA would not pay for a full-time home carer, only fleeting visits from carers several times a day.

Same experience here - carers will go in first thing and last thing, and even that can be means assessed. The authority will provide the most cost efficient option, and that will be a home.

Does she have the option to go to a rehabilitation centre/ unit, or will that not be possible?

Gothpugs

Right now I am unsure, all we know right now is that she will never be fully independant again, the stroke has taken a huge toll on her health and her immune system was compromised already due to the chrones though she may make a good recovery we are aware she will never be independant as she was

It may turn out that a few fleeting visits from carers every day, combined with the support of her family will be enough, but I was hoping that if she does need full time care I would still be able to arrange for her to have it in her own home, rather than in a nursing home

My mother and her sisters seem to have already decided if she does survive this recovery period she will be going into a home, and are already dividing up her things and sorting through her finances.

I want to be able to say, "Hey, hang on a minute there are other options here" I am 100% certain she would not want to be in a home, there is no doubt of that, she would HATE it so I want to do everything I can in my power to try to ensure she would be able to stay at home, even if it's difficult for her family its what she would have wanted and I at least owe it to her, to fight in her corner for what she would have wanted

miduck

I can't speak for your grandmother, but we have a friend (64) who had a severe stroke, and was very much of the same mindset - in fact she had said if ever she became so ill she did not want to be resuscitated, she had not put this in writing so she was. She is now in rehab, and will be for several months, but will require full time care for a long time, if not forever. Whilst she is not happy, she is coming round to the idea of going into a care home, both because she will have company when she wants it, and to lessen the burden on her family (her daughters would give up work to care for her, but she is aware how stressful that would be for them).

It may be worth quietly looking into what the care homes are like in your area. Even if she qualifies for ongoing care, you can top this up to private rates to get the very best for her.

Savvy_Sue

Gothpugs wrote: »

I want to be able to say, "Hey, hang on a minute there are other options here" I am 100% certain she would not want to be in a home, there is no doubt of that, she would HATE it so I want to do everything I can in my power to try to ensure she would be able to stay at home, even if it's difficult for her family its what she would have wanted and I at least owe it to her, to fight in her corner for what she would have wanted

What she would have wanted before the stroke, and what she would want now, may not be the same things. Her life has changed, and will never be the same again.

She was independent, and presumably that meant she could get out and about. If she's stuck at home and reliant on other people for pretty much everything, she might now prefer to be somewhere with help available 24/7, AND with company.

miduck wrote: »

I can't speak for your grandmother, but we have a friend (64) who had a severe stroke, and was very much of the same mindset - in fact she had said if ever she became so ill she did not want to be resuscitated, she had not put this in writing so she was. She is now in rehab, and will be for several months, but will require full time care for a long time, if not forever. Whilst she is not happy, she is coming round to the idea of going into a care home, both because she will have company when she wants it, and to lessen the burden on her family (her daughters would give up work to care for her, but she is aware how stressful that would be for them).

It may be worth quietly looking into what the care homes are like in your area. Even if she qualifies for ongoing care, you can top this up to private rates to get the very best for her.

I agree with this, and it's worth bearing in mind that ANYTHING is possible if your grandmother or the wider family have the resources to pay for it. If not, then you won't get live in carers paid for by the local authority.

Had your grandmother done anything about Power of Attorney? If so, who did she appoint? They will the ones making the decisions on her behalf if she can't make them for herself.

Mojisola

Gothpugs wrote: »

It may turn out that a few fleeting visits from carers every day, combined with the support of her family will be enough, but I was hoping that if she does need full time care I would still be able to arrange for her to have it in her own home, rather than in a nursing home

My mother and her sisters seem to have already decided if she does survive this recovery period she will be going into a home, and are already dividing up her things and sorting through her finances.

Can you rely on the support of the family? If all her sisters have decided that a home is the best place for her, they may be unwilling to share in the work involved in keeping her at home.

margaretclare

She only had this stroke on Christmas Eve - nowadays a lot can be done to help people recover at least some ability, with good after-care. Maybe it is a little early to be making concrete decisions about 'putting her in a home'.

What does the lady herself want? Maybe wait until she herself has had time to come to terms with what has happened, has had discussions with her medical team and thought it through herself. I detest the thought of anyone being 'put' anywhere as if she wasn't a person with her own thoughts and wishes to be considered.

Ooops, sorry, you already said that she'd prefer to remain at home. Wait and see how much ability she recovers, with good after-care and rehab etc. No one should decide 'she's going into a home' if that is against her wishes.

SandraScarlett

What a rotten Christmas you all must have had with your Grandma being so ill - and what a caring grandchild you are. :A My own experience with people is that they all say, me included, , that they'd rather be dead than live in a home, but that's like, pre-pregnancy, saying "I'm not going to be a moaning parent, I shall be understanding". :rotfl:Talk's cheap!

My Mum was adamant she didn't want to go into a home, until it became obvious that she couldn't cope at home following various falls, broken hips etc.

We sold her home and she was in a great place for 7 years, during which time my brother never stopped moaning at "his" inheritance being "frittered away" - bl**dy cheek! When she died, 17 years ago she was paying £1750 a month then, no idea what it would be now, but the care was superb.

Knowing the experience of friends with parents in their 90s, who are determined that Mum and/or Dad should stay in their own home, the care they receive tends to be patchy, unreliable and rushed. The staff are often given an unachievable number of visits to make in a day, with the consequence that they cannot give the alloted time.

This would mean a timetable would have to be drawn up amongst "the family" to ensure Grandma has the care she needs, and is that likely? Far better to research the care homes in the area, a lot easier nowadays with the Internet, and then visit some yourself.

To give you an idea of the cost of home care self-funding, my husband has Alzheimers, and his home care would cost £19.48 an hour at the weekend, or after 6 pm - good thing I don't go out much! I never go out in the evenings and only once a month on a Saturday when family help out.

I had the satisfaction of knowing my Mum was in the very best place and getting excellent care, and I visited frequently. When she died, I knew I'd done my best for her. I do wish you luck in getting what's best for your Grandma.:)
xx