Mum panicking about Dad going into NH

[Deleted User]

pmlindyloo wrote: »

When/if your dad does go into a nursing home then be sure, as part of the assessment process, to ask for him to be assessed for Continuing Healthcare.

It is extremely difficult to get (means that the NHS funds all the care) but because of recent reports about this I believe that anyone entering a nursing home should be assessed.

Useful link here with a copy of the descriptors

http://www.dh.gov.uk/prod_consum_dh/groups/dh_digitalassets/documents/digitalasset/dh_103328.pdf

Wouldn't have known about that. Thank you

blondie7

blondie7 wrote: »

You could look into respite for your dad as a first step, then its a break for you mam and not permanent and see how she copes on her own.

Clearly was

Pollycat

Corona
I think you may be able to put your Mum's mind at rest (obviously depending on her specific financial situation).

My Mum was significantly better off (financially and health-wise) after my Dad went into a residential care home.

She qualified for Guarantee Pension Credit (instead of the joint savings pension credit entitlement) which then gave her eligibility to council tax benefit and housing benefit (rent on a council-owned warden controlled flat).

This may be key to what benefits your Mum can get:

pmlindyloo wrote: »

I also believe that if your father has an occupational/private pension then half of this can be paid to your mother and is disregarded in the financial assessment. Of course this may take her over the income limit for Pension Credit so you need to do the sums carefully and choose whether she is better off recieivng Pension Credit and associated benefits or receiving half the pension.

Dad had 2 small occupational pensions and I worked out that if Mum claimed half that would take her over the GPC threshold and wipe out all her benefits.

So it was a no-brainer that Dad would retain his full occupational pensions. It made sense for us anyway as he was self-funding in the care home and his 2 pensions went towards paying the fees.

Hope it works out for your Mum (and Dad)

[Deleted User]

Pollycat wrote: »

Corona
I think you may be able to put your Mum's mind at rest (obviously depending on her specific financial situation).

My Mum was significantly better off (financially and health-wise) after my Dad went into a residential care home.

She qualified for Guarantee Pension Credit (instead of the joint savings pension credit entitlement) which then gave her eligibility to council tax benefit and housing benefit (rent on a council-owned warden controlled flat).



This may be key to what benefits your Mum can get:


Dad had 2 small occupational pensions and I worked out that if Mum claimed half that would take her over the GPC threshold and wipe out all her benefits.

So it was a no-brainer that Dad would retain his full occupational pensions. It made sense for us anyway as he was self-funding in the care home and his 2 pensions went towards paying the fees.

Hope it works out for your Mum (and Dad)

That's really good to know. I think once she can see that she won't be living in poverty, she might be ready to take the first step into letting him go. It's that fear that's blinding her to everything - even her own health. (Just got back from taking her to GP and they're sending her to the hospital later this afternoon; she's really not well).

Thank you.

Pollycat

Sorry to hear your Mum's not well, Corona.

I just wondered if you'd found a suitable place for your Dad.

I appreciate that your case is different to ours as Dad was in a residential home rather than a nursing home, although he did have dementia.

We found a really good home on the local bus route from Mum's house so she could go to visit him as often as she wanted without having to rely on lifts.

You could almost see the weight being lifted from her shoulders when she was no longer struggling to care for him at home.

Good luck, let us know how things go.

Savvy_Sue

Pollycat wrote: »

My Mum was significantly better off (financially and health-wise) after my Dad went into a residential care home.

And no amount of money can compensate for completely broken health, IMO. Although I can understand her fears if she's lived most of her life having to worry about money, and has had to worry less in retirement.

Sues48

My mum was in almost this exact position 12 months ago, although her hand was forced after my dad was admitted to hospital and she was persuaded that she could no longer cope with him at home. My dad received full AA plus a private pension and full state pension. My mum only had a tiny occupational pension plus reduced state pension. She eventually realised that her own health would suffer and regardless of the financial consequences residential care for my dad was the best option.

As it turned out she need not have worried as he was assessed for continuing health care and awarded the full amount. So other than losing the AA,(which she used to pay for him to go to a private day care centre), she kept all his income. Sadly my dad died 4 months after going into the nursing home and as a widow her income is much reduced, but she isn't on the breadline either.

I really feel for you having to go through this, it was one of the most difficult and painful decisions we had to make as a family, but it was the right one as my dad was never going to get better and my mum was, and still is, reasonably fit and healthy. Good luck.

pineapple123

OP a tricky situation, Dad may be entitiled to full CHC funding for care placement however as others have said difficult to get as it is based on health needs not care needs ie needing specialist care not general care due to incontience, imobility etc.

I sympathize for your mother but feel she needs to look after herself, money wise she may not be quite so well off but health wise much better, however she probably feeling guilty about thinking about putting hubby into a home and this could be adding to her stress over finances, also it was sort of become a way of life now for her.

Its so terribly difficult living with someone with dementia, she has done so well caring for all these years.
Putting someone into a care home is never easy.

Anyway to put it bluntly health or wealth, I know which one I would want.

Hope mum is ok after going to hospital.