Mum panicking about Dad going into NH

I've been looking everywhere for an answer to this query but without success, so hope someone here can help me.

Situation is that my Mum, who is 78, is developing several health problems with the strain of looking after my Dad (80) after 10 years. I really want her to at least start on the first step of his going into a nursing home permanently (otherwise, I don't think she's going to be here, or at least not at home, in a year's time).

The biggest issue for her (apart from missing him) is that she is absolutely TERRIFIED of being poor again and is convinced that she would lose both his pension and attendance allowance if he went into a nursing home and that she would be left with only £350 pcm to live on.

Can anyone tell me the actual situation? Would this happen or would their joint incomes be added together and divided by 50%? Would they lose the attendance allowance? Would Mum be entitled to a state "top up" if she really was left with so little to live on. (Their savings are less than £18,000).

Thanks.
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Comments

  • Torry_Quine
    Torry_Quine Posts: 18,830 Forumite
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    If the AA is his and he will be funded by the local authority then yes he will loose it after 28 days in a care home, also the majority of his pension would be paid to the home other than approx £23 for his personal spending.

    She however will be financially assesed as a single person and if her only income is her state pension then she may well be entitled to pension credit.
    Lost my soulmate so life is empty.

    I can bear pain myself, he said softly, but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have -
    Diana Gabaldon, Outlander
  • pmlindyloo
    pmlindyloo Posts: 13,049 Forumite
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    If the AA is his and he will be funded by the local authority then yes he will loose it after 28 days in a care home, also the majority of his pension would be paid to the home other than approx £23 for his personal spending.

    She however will be financially assesed as a single person and if her only income is her state pension then she may well be entitled to pension credit.

    From the figures given then she will certainly be entitled to Pension Credit (google for more information)

    Any award of Pension credit will give her full Council Tax Benefits and housing costs (if there is rent/mortgage)

    I also believe that if your father has an occupational/private pension then half of this can be paid to your mother and is disregarded in the financial assessment. Of course this may take her over the income limit for Pension Credit so you need to do the sums carefully and choose whether she is better off recieivng Pension Credit and associated benefits or receiving half the pension.

    Here is a useful guide for you.

    http://www.housingcare.org/downloads/kbase/1546.pdf
  • concerned43
    concerned43 Posts: 1,316 Forumite
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    Have your parents been assessed to see what their needs are and whether these needs can be supported by care in the community, hence avoiding the need to go into a care home?
  • Have your parents been assessed to see what their needs are and whether these needs can be supported by care in the community, hence avoiding the need to go into a care home?

    Yes, they have been assessed and do receive some help (e.g. someone to bath him). They also pay for a cleaner privately. They have been offered someone to get him up and put him to bed, BUT he's often up in the night so won't get up in the morning, PLUS they wanted to send someone round at 6pm to put him to bed - which he definitely wouldn't do. He has vascular dementia and can be very confused and sometimes quite angry.

    I do all their shopping and some washing of bed linen (he's incontinent) together with their cleaner. Mum does the rest. She's also tired and sleep deprived, and not eating properly (even when I cook food for them, she is put off by having to take him to the toilet and clean him up ... )
  • pmlindyloo wrote: »
    From the figures given then she will certainly be entitled to Pension Credit (google for more information)

    Any award of Pension credit will give her full Council Tax Benefits and housing costs (if there is rent/mortgage)

    I also believe that if your father has an occupational/private pension then half of this can be paid to your mother and is disregarded in the financial assessment. Of course this may take her over the income limit for Pension Credit so you need to do the sums carefully and choose whether she is better off recieivng Pension Credit and associated benefits or receiving half the pension.

    Here is a useful guide for you.

    http://www.housingcare.org/downloads/kbase/1546.pdf

    That's very useful thank you. Yes, he does have an occupational pension which, together with the AA, makes up most of their income. Mum only has a small pension.
  • blondie7
    blondie7 Posts: 377 Forumite
    edited 2 January 2013 at 9:25PM
    You could look into respite for your dad as a first step, then its a break for you mam and not permanent and see how she copes on her own.
  • blondie7 wrote: »
    You could look into rest bite for your dad as a first step, then its a break for you mam and not permanent and see how she copes on her own.


    He already goes into a NH for 2 weeks 4 x a year to give her a break. She does enjoy it (although she usually sleeps for the first week).
  • Torry_Quine
    Torry_Quine Posts: 18,830 Forumite
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    blondie7 wrote: »
    You could look into rest bite for your dad as a first step, then its a break for you mam and not permanent and see how she copes on her own.

    Hope that was a typo. :rotfl:
    Lost my soulmate so life is empty.

    I can bear pain myself, he said softly, but I couldna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have -
    Diana Gabaldon, Outlander
  • pmlindyloo
    pmlindyloo Posts: 13,049 Forumite
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    When/if your dad does go into a nursing home then be sure, as part of the assessment process, to ask for him to be assessed for Continuing Healthcare.

    It is extremely difficult to get (means that the NHS funds all the care) but because of recent reports about this I believe that anyone entering a nursing home should be assessed.

    Useful link here with a copy of the descriptors

    http://www.dh.gov.uk/prod_consum_dh/groups/dh_digitalassets/documents/digitalasset/dh_103328.pdf
  • NAR
    NAR Posts: 4,863 Forumite
    First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    blondie7 wrote: »
    You could look into rest bite for your dad
    Think the phrase you were looking for blondie7 was "respite care." :rotfl:
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