New born help and advice

Yummy_Mummy_Sofia

My DD hated not being swaddled at night. Basically she wanted to feel like she was in a cocoon. I use to wrap a blanket around her body keeping the arms tight. She also didn't really like the Moses basket but loved the cot, so was in that full time from 9days old.

She did suffer from baby reflux and had baby gaviscon prescribed, this was painful for her and appeared to bother her more in the evenings. I found that at times the only thing that settled her was skin to skin contact with me or hubby, her laying chest on chest with us. I know a lot of people advise to not constantly cradle newborns as they get use to it and clingy, but honestly at this really young stage i felt that if they want a cuddle and security that was more important. Once DD was more comfortable with the reflux and surroundings we quickly managed to settle her into a routine where she wasn't cradled to sleep all the time. It's just the first part they often need help adjusting to life on the outside.

They are all different and remember that you are all learning and getting use I each other. Congratulations and in a few weeks you will feel like this mad manic first stage is a long distant memory.

harty999

Hi all. Thanks for all the support and advice. It is still nightmare at night. From his feed around 9pm he is just so restless and angry. All day he is great and after a feed will go down for a sleep no problem at all. He will be up now until about 3am.
We are now taking night times in shifts. But I go back to work on Monday which is a worry for me.

Gillyx

I hate the term 'colic' but it sounds like maybe that's what it could be here, if he is taking feeds during the day fine and sleeping ok during the day, it doesn't indicate reflux or anything. He is still so little though.

Could your OH maybe go to bed at say 7 o clock, and you deal with baby until 12 midnight, and then OH wake up, and you go to bed? That way she'd get the 5 hours early on, you'd hopefully get as close to a full night as possible, and then she'd get back into bed around 3am if he'l settle? Not sure if he's breast or bottle fed and obviously that would make a difference to that plan

Mojisola

Once you go back to work, encourage your wife to rest during the day whenever baby sleeps - none of this "Baby is sleeping so I'll just get all this housework done".

There are lots of things to try - swaddling, putting a piece of clothing that smells of Mum in the moses basket, getting a cd of whooshy music to replicate what he was hearing in the womb, warm the mattress before settling him down (hot water bottle or microwave bag but don't leave it in the cot with him) and so on.

Most of all remember he's had nine months of being in the womb and the real world is still very new.

shortdog

As other have said, babies take a bit of time to get used to the difference between night and day. Can your wife swap things round for a few weeks? ie sleep during the day, and then she's OKish during the night?
How is baby being fed? As Gillyx suggests, it could be a touch of colic - my daughter suffered horribly from colic, and you have my sympathies. My daughters colic was solved by increasing the flow of the bottle teat - she was too small to manage to get enough from the slow flow newborn teats, so was swallowing loads of air, the HV suggested a faster flow teat, and it was like a miracle cure. (Watch him closely to make sure it's not too fast for him though).
If baby is breastfed, is Mum eating something at tea-time that's irritating his tummy? Is that the time of day she has something spicy, or her one cup of coffee, or anything like that?
Chances are, though, you'll just have to go with it, and let him settle down in his own good time - it doesn't last long before things get easier, honestly!

alwaysbrassic

My little girl was exactly the same, I can remember spending much of the first 3 months in tears because I was so exhausted and felt a failure as a mum.
Swaddling was one thing that helped but this is only recommended up to a certain age.
We also changed the bottle teat size, and eventually the formula we used (we were breast and bottle feeding due to the exhaustion).
My health visitor also recommended baby massage (think baby has to be about 8 weeks old). This helped with the colic.
In the early days we just tried to stick to a routine of bath, feed bed. It seemed futile at the time but from 12 weeks old up and still now, my daughter nows her bedtime and sleeps well.

missbunbury

Hiya, my daughter is 6 weeks and my husband has just gone back to work last week, baby has a very similar sleep pattern. What I have been doing is:
- me and husband have food together as soon as he gets home then he takes baby for three hours while I sleep from say eight till eleven
- I get up then and stay up with angel baby till she is ready to sleep about three (I spend time rubbing her tummy and pedalling her legs during this bit to try to ease the crying but it doesn't always work
- at 3-ish when she is properly sleepy I feed her for as long as I can, anywhere up to an hour if she'll keep eating (breastfeeding this is)
- once she is dropping off we both head up to the bedroom where we have got a cot attached to our bed (google "how to sidecar a cot" for more info) and I put her in there where she is close to me, my hand on her tummy and I make shushing noises until she settles (husband oblivious cos he is a big snoring oik!)
- I then half-wake every time she needs feeding and fingers crossed no poo requiring nappy change waking
- she usually sleeps on and off till about ten this way
- then we get up and go down and open curtains, put music on etc to make a definition between night and day.

In the days I don't even worry about housework unless she is good and asleep, anything I haven't done, OH can do later! When she goes down for a nap I put her in her moses basket and lie down on the couch next to her to sleep myself. I also try to organise at least one visitor or outing every day to help keep myself sane.

kitjos

Oh my... I feel your pain

It was awful for the first weeks, my daughter would stay up ALL night! A good night would be her nodding off at 4am. I was so exhausted and depressed, didnt help that my husband went back to work after 14 days so the night was completly my domain. Everyone will say it gets easier, it does, but at the time you cant help but roll your eyes at that statement.
My daughter is now 6 weeks old and sleeps from midnight till about 3:30am then feeds for an hour and goes back to sleep for another 1-2 hours. Its a hell of a lot better than before. Cant wait till she goes down before midnight and sleeps 5h+.

All the best, your not alone.

stay_at_home_mum

Congratulations. I remember those days....... it does get easier believe me. My DD was an awful sleeper. Hated sleeping in moses basket in our bedroom,so from 2 weeks old she was in her own room in her cot. We swaddled her and that seemed to work for her. She loved it. So much so she slept through the night from 9 weeks( Can't say that now but thats a different story). We followed gina ford's "contented baby" book and are quite strict with her routine. It works for her. You will find what works best. Trial and error i'm afraid.

Another thing we done which i believed to calm DD is cranial osteopathy ( google 1 thats near you). worth a shot if things dont get better.

good luck

Mismatched

Congratulations! I have a 6 month old and your story sounds very similar to mine at first - me and my other half were getting through the night in shifts and he would quite often only settle in his bouncer or swing. Maybe it isn't so good for their posture long term, but he did end up spending a lot of time in it in the first 10 weeks or so. I did feel a bit guilty but at the time, him getting some sleep, even for a while seemed the most important thing.

After he was about 11 weeks, I started getting him into a nighttime routine of bath, massage, feed, story, bed. Some babies take to this better than others from the sounds of things, but he was out like a light, and has slept very well since. I had a playlist of calming music and lullabies that I put on, while going through the routine, and sometimes a bit of lavender oil in an oil burner (obviously in a room with you, not in baby's room unsupervised).

If a sore tummy or digestive problems do seem to be bothering him, cooled fennel or peppermint tea seems to help (fairly weak, in a bottle). Mine always seems to get bad hiccups when he gets aggravated or crabby before bed :S It will get better, and I wish you the best of luck