Hoarding - A New Start

blossomhill_2

nighgtsong - welcome back - I find eBy crashes a lot on free listing days so maybe pre-listing [like someone on here helpfully suggested then going live on free-listing day] would help

I am finding it helpful in lots of ways, its not just about the money for me its about the flow of items outwards, the using up of old paper, the really thinking about what I own and whether it has a value, the learning to not have to have it perfect, the achieving my aim of "rescuing" some forlorn items, even if it is for someone else to use

Byatt - I was starting to worry about you, will pm

nightsong

Thanks so much Jojo and GreyQueen

Much useful food for thought. All pretty much pointing one way too. I reckon I have rather boxed myself into a corner - feeling I MUST go the ebay route. I could give myself permission to rethink that.

and also many thanks blossomhill - for a constructive way to think about ebay!

whitewing

I have been having a sort through of 'important paperwork'.

I have shredded a lot to do with buying my previous house (at end if the nineties) and selling it. Bills associated with it and other paperwork that is mainly between 2004 and 2007.

There was some pleasure in seeing a foot high pile being shredded.

But I also feel very stressed. As if someone is going to knock on my door later this week and DEMAND to see something I shredded. I realised that part of the uncomfortable feeling is because my dad is always caught up in legal action against someone or someone against him. So any piece of paper in his relates to solicitors, legal things, evidence against those b----! It's all there, just in case. My whole life is run on a 'just in case' basis. I should have been called Justin.

I bought my previous house following a split from my then boyfriend, which followed a split from DS's dad a couple of years before, which followed various unplanned things. As everything was a source of huge anxiety then and felt insecure, even a franked envelope could bring up big waves of worry. I still felt some echoes of those old feelings as I handled the stuff today. I am glad it is shredded and I won't stumble across it again. Why do I keep things that torture me so.

I do try and read all the posts but do end up skim reading sometimes. I don't think it matters too much. Our decluttering cycles round and people are at different stages so discussions come up again. I'm sure I'll do some more id stuff next year, and I think we had some discussion on it in the last thread.

I contribute more to the household finances by having less stuff and being more organised because
1. I don't have to buy replacements because I can't find something
2. We comfort spend less because we're not depressed about the state of the house
3. We can have people round when times are tight and can home bake rather than meeting in a cafe (it's choice though, we do still enjoy going out, we just don't HAVE to)
4. we have a stream of stuff going out to charity shops and so on so we still contribute to society by that and blood doning etc but we don't tend to give money
5. we buy good quality stuff that we do need, and enjoy using it. When we are finished with it, we can sell some of it on via local businesses which supports independent shops that provide variety. We sometimes purchase from the same places.
6. we save money by getting better deals. We have some storage space that is clear, so we can snap up a bargain a couple of months before someone's birthday. Similarly big stuff we can set up a google alert and wait for an offer because things help us in life, things aren't going to change our life.
7. we have more space to do things which enhances our life rather than us chucking money at aspirational life enhancers.

DH has the windows open as he has been rearranging the bedroom. Oh, the simple pleasure of fresh air in the newly-vacuumed house.

VJsmum

See, what I like is that 15 minutes is an episode of "The Archers", 2 x 15 minutes is News quiz, the food programme or Cabin Pressure. I find if I want to catch up on one of these - or listen again - I can quite happily listen to that whilst tidying the bedroom or cleaning the bathroom. The Archers is also rather handily on after we've had dinner so that's the washing up and clearing sorted :T

Imagine what i've managed after 4 of the Harry Potter series on audiobook from the library!

We have a shop in our town called "We Ebay 4 u" - and they do just that. You take your stuff, they do all the faff but keep some of the proceeds (it is quite a lot, i believe, around a third of them, but saves the messing about). Maybe there is one near you?

Goldiegirl

Re the ebay thing.

I do quite a lot of eBaying. But it is a big commitment, takes time and can be quite hard work at times.

But, I only work two days a week, I have good health, and a large enough house for things to wait in a designated area to get eBayed.

However, I enjoy it. I enjoy it so much that I'm doing some of it as a little business. I'm helping a friend on her de-cluttering journey, by selling off some of her things. She has shopoholic tendancies so she has very nice stuff. We split the proceeds, so we are both getting benefit from this arrangement. Also, I buy sometimes with a view to selling on.

Maybe nightsong has a friend who could help with the eBay selling. I would mention though, that the friend would have to have an eBay business account!

However, if the Ebaying got too much for me or I wasn't enjoying it anymore I would stop.

I would feel that it would be more important to give the things to charity etc, than to do something I didn't enjoy or didn't have time for.

Everyone has different things going on in their life, and it's best to balance your de-cluttering activities against other things going on in your life, and to make time for yourself too. Sometimes compromises need to be made - we aren't superwomen!

So, there's no guilt in not eBaying. The priority is to get your house comfortable to live in, so sometimes other ways of achieving this are more appropriate.

Whitewing, re paperwork - I've shredded STACKS of it in my time and have never needed to refer back to anything that has gone. For me, the liberating pleasure of seeing it go has certainly overridden any 'what if' twinges. If it hasn't been looked at for years, it's safe to shred, is my motto!

Byatt

Whitewing, that is what my counsellor would call a remembered feeling, not relating to the now. I find it really useful to use that when I am in panic mode and stressing, and the realisation that what I am feeling is the feeling I remember and relating to past issues. It does ground me and has stopped me going off the deep end.

eandjsmum

I'm with Greyqueen I have never used ebay. I did sort out some stuff for the CS and it eventually went yesturday as I work. I still have plenty more to do . I haven't tackled the hobbies and craftwork yet(did find a started cross stich though thought that I would carry on with it).

The one major thing I've found is paperwork. I have mountains of it and from all sources. This week I have cleared out all the paperwork relating to my car 12 years worth, plus the folder of certificates and a folder of writing paper. I have found things that I never knew that i had kept plus stuff that I had been looking fo for ages. I still have to shred a load of checkbook stubs but I'm not sure how long I have to keep them for before I can do that.

I now have some clear surfaces and I am keeping them clean if anything appears on them it is swiftly dealt with.

lostinrates

Still haven't braved eBay.


Have done no dericharding,

Did get some of the day in the garden yesterday and today we have stared painting dh's study. Hip almost half the room undercoated now. Dh was going to move the boxes of books he is paint round to move his scaffold tower, but I suggested we paint the room from under coat to top coat in two halls. I know it sounds daft, but the room Has beams, so it's not like I am sugest ing doing half a clear span of ceiling.....

Once painted we will have 'the book case discussion' where we decide what to do about those and flooring for that one room. I really want one finished room. And a study and our centre of organisation seems a good room to be finished, At least, I think so.

procrastinator

Hello
Can I join you all, you talk such wonderful sense. I found myself advising a friend using some of the insight I have found on here. Why can't I heed it for myself.
I posted occasionally on the "my house if a mess" thread but haven't done for ages as I don't get much done what with having to skirt round all the stuff. I have massive problems letting things go, even old damaged stuff. Before xmas I sorted some clothes but they are still sitting in a pile in the corner of my bedroom. I just don't know what to do with them. They are old, no good for charity, too embarrassed to take them as rags, don't want to send them to landfill. so they sit. I need work doing on the house, can't as I can't have anyone in. I must get this done this year. Why do I have to live like this it's madness. I deserve better and so do my family. I'm off to do dinner now after which I will spend 15 mins tidying somewhere, not sure where yet. Will report back later.

blossomhill_2

procrastinator wrote: »

Hello
Can I join you all, you talk such wonderful sense. I found myself advising a friend using some of the insight I have found on here. Why can't I heed it for myself

Half the time we can't either :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:broken things were the worst for me but suddenly I think "that's broken" and it goes out without a backward glance - you will get there too! So welcome!