Advice req housing benefit

Jox

Big_is_beautiful wrote: »

I do find it strange that the OP is being critisised for taking his daughter and family in under these circumstances, surely he is not to be expected to throw them out on the street.
Moods change on here so much, one day you should support your kids, the next let them look after their-selves. Amazing!

I was under the impression that the majority were suggesting that his daughter and grandchild live with him in the 4 bed house and if they required their own place that the father of the baby could get a job and pay for the rent rather than relying on benefits.

I'm not sure where you have got your impression from?

lighting_up_the_chalice

Big_is_beautiful wrote: »

It can't buy civility and politeness either, which is something seriously lacking judging by some of the comments on this forum sometimes.

You mean like......

Big_is_beautiful wrote: »

were you deprived of love as a child,

Big_is_beautiful wrote: »

you really a thoroughly nasty person, or is that just to me.

Big_is_beautiful wrote: »

Do me a favour. Don't comment on my posts, you bore the life out of me

Big_is_beautiful wrote: »

Unlike you who actually spends Christmas Day, which is a family time, posting rubbish about others on the internet. Of course you do, because you are a loner, and have nothing else better to do.

Big_is_beautiful wrote: »

Not today, I am working, I wouldn't be on here on Christmas day otherwise, I am not as sad as some on here who spend all their time digging.

Big_is_beautiful wrote: »

How silly you make your self look.

And my own personal favorite.....

Big_is_beautiful wrote: »

At least I don't pretend to be super virginal white as white then stab people in the back.

lighting_up_the_chalice

Big_is_beautiful wrote: »

I do find it strange that the OP is being critisised for taking his daughter and family in under these circumstances, surely he is not to be expected to throw them out on the street.
Moods change on here so much, one day you should support your kids, the next let them look after their-selves. Amazing!

If he was to support his own daughter, there would be no need for the benefits he asked about in the OP.

SandraScarlett

When I read the OP, I thought the Happy Grandparents lived in a one bedroomed flat, and space was tight. But the end of the post mentioned other children having left home, so I assumed it was a 2 or 3 bed property.

But 4 beds - what's the problem? There's obviously a room for you and your wife, space for your daughter and boyfriend to have their own room, and for the baby to be in a separate room too, and still have a spare room.:D

If you've said they can stay till the end of January, that gives the boyfriend time to get one, or more jobs, perhaps a day job and bar work in the evening. Then if your daughter is given a crash course in homemaking, she can do the housework in the day, whilst you and your wife are at work, and have a hot meal waiting for everyone in the evening.

With this amicable relationship in place, you might feel inclined to let them stay longer with you, until they have a good, solid amount of savings behind them, and they would then be able to privately rent, and they would still get some benefits.

And I would charge them some rent, which you can save for them, if you don't really want to take it, and then that will cover some household items, when they finally move out.

If they are adult enough to be parents, then they are adult enough to forge their own way in life. Remember, the baby never asked to be born, and there is no reason why he/she should suffer. I wish you and your family a Happy New Year.

xx

Muscle750

That is the most sensible thing I've heard or read in ages in reality wether it would work I don't know we have tried to let's say get all involved in the day to day stuff early days I know but they've lived here now 9 months and its not been the easiest of rides
Anyway a very happy new year to you as well

justlooking2012

Muscle750 wrote: »

I asked for advice not abuse

Kick the lazy slob who got your daughter pregnant out of the house and tell him that unstead of you worrying how THEY will get BENEFITS he should be trying to find work.
When the baby is born tell your daughter she best go and get a job now and stop being so irresponsible.
Your right that it can happen to anybody, I got a girl pregnant at seventeen but I left college and have worked everyday since, I never sat around playing xbox and my dad/partners dad certainly never had to go onto internet forums asking about "benefits".

Muscle750

Just looking as you haven't read all the other posts which clearly state that the baby is already here and is living with his parents under our roof the situation is that the BF is job seeking but can only obtain PT work so far the daughter was at Uni but has took time out and is planning on returning I would go on to say that all student finance etc is long ceased wether she will go back I don't know but it's draining us financially and there only so much we can do I've said that we will give them to the end of January and if I don't see some form of effort from them I won't be exactly happy by any shape or form end of the day they are entitled I just want to know what to if people don't want to advise that's fine but to be honest I've got better things to worry about than people who want to hide behind keyboards

justlooking2012

I never actually clocked onto the fact that the baby was now born as I skim read a bit of it as it got a bit confusing with the arguing.
So are you saying that this boyfriend has not worked fulltime in all the time he has been at your house? if that was me he wouldnt have got through the door in the first place. My daughter(if I had one) would get in but certainly not him, but thats down to personal preference.
As for advising, tell your daughter and the slob to get off their !!!!!! and go and to the NUMEROUS places where they can find out this sort of information, jobcentre, council or the citizens advice bureau.
As for hiding behind a keyboard, not me I wouldnt say anything on here I wouldnt say to someones face but then again we are not all the same but if you openly post your family affairs on a public forum you have to expect remarks, good and bad.
I think that you are angry at the wrong people though

Treevo

Muscle750 wrote: »

Just looking as you haven't read all the other posts which clearly state that the baby is already here and is living with his parents under our roof the situation is that the BF is job seeking but can only obtain PT work so far the daughter was at Uni but has took time out and is planning on returning I would go on to say that all student finance etc is long ceased wether she will go back I don't know but it's draining us financially and there only so much we can do I've said that we will give them to the end of January and if I don't see some form of effort from them I won't be exactly happy by any shape or form end of the day they are entitled I just want to know what to if people don't want to advise that's fine but to be honest I've got better things to worry about than people who want to hide behind keyboards

Ask your siblings to help. They're obviously better equipped to help your offspring as they are all financially solvent and have raised productive members of society.

SandraScarlett

Muscle750 wrote: »

I asked for advice not abuse I didn't abuse anyone on here and you idiots ping ponging verbal diarrhoea between yourselfs take it elsewhere

Oh please don't tar everybody with the same brush! After all, you complimented me about my post. But you've got to Man Up, and tell the boyfriend that you cannot afford to carry their load as well as your own.

I'm assuming they're already getting Child Benefit for the baby, and your daughter had/has Maternity Pay? So that's a good basis to start with, and say you want to help them to budget, and what jobs has the boyfriend been looking into.

He's not in a position to say that he desperately wants to be a nuclear scientist, if he failed all his GCSEs, and if he can only get a job for now that he might consider lowly, well so be it. Hence the saying "beggars can't be choosers", but he's not having to do any begging at the moment, is he?

And all this rot about your daughter not knowing how the vacuum cleaner or washing machine work, well shame on you! She's been back at home long enough for you to have shown her - it would have taken a few minutes, and if she's had the benefit of a university education, I can't see a problem. I might sound harsh to you, but my kids had to earn their pocket money by doing jobs, and at 11, my son was ironing all his own shirts, and his Dad's!

New Years Day - New Start. Begin by saying something positive like "Mum and I want you to have some social life together, so we'll baby sit every other Saturday afternoon/Fri evening/Sunday morning".

Then go for it! :j I enjoy watching Jeremy Kyle now and then, just so I can thank God that I regularly go to the dentist, and wash my hair, and am not like so many of the "guests", and he's always telling men to Man Up. So if all else fails, threaten them with an appearance on JK! :eek::eek::eek:

Happy New Year to you and your family, and make sure that after you've taught your grandson/grand-daughter to clap their hands, and play peepo, that you teach them how to vacuum! :beer:

xx