Moan

pinkshoes

I'm with the others... You sound like a nice person who has recognised this trip to Oz as an opportunity of a lifetime, and I think you should go on your own as you really deserve alot better! You should NEVER let your husband treat you like that, and given that you've forgiven him many times, he seems to know he can get away with his behaviour!

Maybe by leaving him and telling him you're going on your own, it'll make him reconsider his behaviour.

lush_walrus

I have to say after that second insight from you...I agree with the others no more chances, enough is enough! He is not being fair to you...My hopes were it was all due to the pressure of leaving UK, I hate to say it but it doesn't sound the case.

You just sound too nice to be honest!

Psykicpup

So... he tells you that you have to do as your told or he will leave you & he is constantly running down your family ......& you want to give him one more chance.. you want him to say it one more time?
Come on love - pack your bags & off to Oz on your own - they have internet there I've heard lol so you can keep in touch with us all - we wuv you!

paddy's_mum

I hate to try to interfere or advise in relationships .. but, you asked. It sounds to me as though this man has supremely low self esteem and gets most of his kicks from having a go at you. I strongly suspect that he is also extremely jealous of your closeness to other members of your family, and indeed, finds that closeness threatening. Perhaps he also assumes that you may confide in mum or sisters just what horrid codswallop he is indulging in and therefore (on the assumption that they already know ALL about it) feels guilty/inadequate when he has to see/contact them.

It also sounds as though he somehow sees you as something of a dressing gown (dressing gown = the thing you sling up on an tatty hook behind the bedroom door and totally ignore until you need it again!)

Do you think he thought that an Indian wife would play doormat all her life? Do you think he has ideas deeply buried somewhere that Indian wives are all compliance, palms held together in salaam and pass sweetly from father's utter control to husband's?

I really believe that you should take a week or so away from all this (if a break can POSSIBLY be arranged, get a bit of perspective, perhaps frighten hubby that this is what life will be like without you, and then make a decision.

This is a horrid situation to be in and I wish you every scrap of good luck with sorting it out.

rkh001

I fell down the stairs early Sat mroning and I was glad that he was there as I have hurt my cocyx (sp?) quit badly, not to mention a few bruises here and there. I am going to the Doc this morning to have myself checked out as I think I blacked out a few times over a period of about 15 minutes. Not sure what is going on other than extreme stress.
I have a lot to think about and I am really glad of your input into my delimma. I just hope that I can I sort things out quite soon. Like I need any more stress... but that is life, I guess.