Time to stop pretending it will be ok!

Verbatim

julie2710 wrote: »

Verbatim

Thank you so much for your post. I think part of me didn't want to look at the totals as they are so scary :eek: They also make me want to kick myself even more for not doing something about it all sooner.

I've done it though and added it to my signature to update regularly so when I start feeling down about what I haven't done I can remind myself about what I have done.

Thanks again!

Glad it helps! :T
Do you build in treats? I'm guessing you do, like the Haven holiday.
Always easier to plod on when there's something to look forward to.
V

julie2710

Yes do try and build in the odd treat. Have booked another Haven Holiday too. Phoned today to cancel the laundry and the entertainment passes that they had charged us for 4 of. Only need 2 as DS2 is 4 and it said under 5s go free.

I'm going to see my neighbour tomorrow as his son works at Legoland and he mentioned he could get us free passes so I'll sort a day out at the start of the summer hols.

I will get some bonus in my May wages as hit one sales target and just waiting on figures for the other bonus!

I've also just booked 3 days for DS1 and 2 days for DS2 football training with Chelsea in the Whitsun half term. As DS1 attends their elite training centre I get it at £15 per day which is a god saving on the £40 a day each for the childminder :eek:

Posted my eBay sales today and painted a couple of fence panels tonight, although with 26 down one side of the garden alone, which need doing both sides, without the back, the other side of the garden, the shed and the office at the bottom of the garden, I'm hoping to be finished by October :eek: Luckily I have loads of paint in the shed

julie2710

So much for joining the NSD challenge. Not a good start. Yesterday was training for DS1 at Chelsea and I couldn't bring myself to get through the hour and a half without a coffee. Also had to pay the extras on the sun holiday booking. Got them to take off the linen and two of the entertainment passes though as we only need two! That saved £22

Needed milk and fruit today so made sure I got bread too so I can have a spend free day tomorrow. Then I forgot to get tin foil and I'm out completely :mad: Well I've decided I'll just have to do without. I've set my boundaries for it too. As I visit hospitals most days and have to pay parking I won't be including claimable expenses like parking, lunches for meetings etc.

Chased payment on an outstanding ebay sale and they've paid now so need to send that tomorrow. I saw some people don't count that either as its already been paid.

Oh I also had to phone EON as they were trying to put my DD up from £99 to 163 per month :eek: They did this before and I told them no way and stayed in credit. Admittedly this time I am about £100 in debit but an extra £74 per month? They are nuts. They eventually agreed to £130. Might need to shop around. Changed last year but prices change so much it's hard to keep up!

A productive night tonight, not as far as saving/paying money really. I sorted out DS1 & DS2s summer clothes from last year and put away their winter stuff. Have got some items that are too small for them to go for eBaying. From the days when I used to buy the occasional item in the likes of Monsoon. Mind you they've been worn by both boys and now seem to sell well on eBay so probably good value. Can't see the cheaper clothes I buy now selling after the two of them have worn them.

julie2710

Well I had a bit of a meltdown moment at the start of this week. I have so much I need/want to get done and it all just seems so overwhelming. Money is really short this month and I'm pretty much scraping around trying to find money for petrol. I get to claim it back but have to pay for it up front. Have had quite a few meetings this month for work so my expenses claim is higher than usual

To top it all I had to try and sort out people to pick my boys up from school and drop them off yesterday. I hate asking my parents as they make such a big deal out of it and it really stresses me out. Sometimes I think it would be just easier to move away as everyone always says to me how wonderful it must be to have family (my brother lives round the corner too) close, as they must all help. It feels awful saying they don't but then I think why should I lie about it

Monday before bed I wrote myself a big list of everything I needed to do. I think it will take me forever.

Anyway, I checked my bank account this morning as CSA payment of £10 should have gone in yesterday and they have only paid me £8.57 so I'm going to have to phone them now! Then my ex who is supposed to have the boys this weekend wants me to drive them to him as he doesn't have any money :mad: It's a 40 mile round trip. I'm sort of stuck either way. If I don't, I don't get a break this weekend and I have the chance of some work on Friday evening, so I would have to pay £20 for a childminder. If I do it's going to cost me petrol money and I expect I'll have to pick them up on Sunday too

Really feeling down at the moment, suppose I'd better get on the phone to the CSA now then :mad:

julie2710

Ok I spoken to the CSA and I need to have a little rant! They apparently have no idea why I wasn't paid my full £10. They've now said they will need to reapply for deductions to be taken from my ex's benefits and it will probably be 4-6 weeks before I get anymore money! :eek::mad: The money owed will just go as arrears, so basically that means I won't get it! :mad: Seems as though we have a system that actually helps fathers not contribute to their child's upbringing.:mad::mad: (as you can see I'm not impressed! Two years of nothing then even the CSA can't get him to make pitiful, regular payments)

I've messaged ex and said that I really can't afford the fuel to run the boys over to him and pick them up! I will just end up scraping around for more money to get through next week again so just can't do it.

Now to top it all a bit of felt has blown off my garage roof so once the wind calms down a bit I'll be out there on the ladder with my hammer and nails

Verbatim

Well it's all happening down your way! I hope that third issue is the last. Well done on putting your foot down with your ex. What a cheek, especially after the £8.57 insult!
You must be very resourceful to do the garage roof yourself. Good luck with the hammer and nails. be careful up the ladder.

julie2710

Thanks Verbatim, this is half my trouble sometimes, I think so much about what's best for everyone else at the expense of what's best for me. On this occasion the probable £10+ on fuel to take the boys to their dads and pick them up isn't what's best for me, although I will feel bad about them not seeing their dad, but my ex is just going to have to realise that he has to step up to the mark and take some responsibility!

As far as resourceful goes on the roof. I would probably use the term "skint"which left me with the, I have loads of nails, I have a hammer, I have a ladder, how hard can it be?, solution

julie2710

Checked my bank account, again! Have transferred the £40 from
PayPal in as needed money to pay childminder for today Anyway on the plus side my friend has transferred in the £12 she owes me . I also noticed that my mortgage payment had gone out already so I just couldn't resist phoning the bank to see what my balance was now!

Really pleased as my mortgage now stands at a grand total of £178,076! Over £1k paid off since last month and a massive £59k paid off BY ME since my ex left :j:j:j

I've also decided to add into my signature my debt total excluding mortgage and CTC payback. Reason being the CTC payback wasn't my fault (still getting nowhere fast with that though) and its interest free over 10 years so not on my priority list to clear as soon as possible. Plus at £70 a month it's going to motivate me more to look at what I'm making a difference on.

Had a phone call yesterday from the vets who dealt appallingly with my dog back in February asking when I was going to pay there bill. I told them I wasn't as I had sent them a letter disputing it and I've had no response so they then said they hadn't got the letter. Copy gone in the post today so will see what happens to that.

I'm planning on a cheap weekend with the boys this weekend. Have printed out some Gruffalo finger puppets for them to make. Made some cakes with them last night so we will decorate those, that's if they haven't eaten them all beforehand Have rhubarb plants to get in, hopefully weather dependant we will get in some bike riding. Oh and let's not forget repairing the roof!

Right off to do some more work. Trying really really hard to focus on what I have done not what I haven't!

julie2710

Well yesterday went pretty much to plan, except that it was way too windy to sort the roof out. To be honest I'm a bit nervous about it but needs must.

Went to my parents for dinner, I know it's a little thing but saves a meal for a day I was due to go out with a friend last night. It never costs me anything because I generally drink water! I don't mind to be honest. Anyway as the boys dad had let me down this weekend I couldn't afford a babysitter so my friend came over and we had a good catch up! Before we knew it it was gone 1am. :eek:

Boys have been great this weekend and I haven't spent any money so far Today we are going out on the scooters. My brother has his little girl for the day so we are going there for dinner.

My friend might be buying my old pushchair. Went to the office at the bottom of the garden, basically storage now. Really, really need to get some major sorting and selling done. It would make a great playroom for the boys and raise some cash.

princesst84

Hi Julie, sorry you were feeling so down, although your last post does soon much cheerier. You really are doing a great job, dont be too hard on yourself

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