What a Right Pickle!

Newyorkdreams

recurrent-ostrich wrote: »

As regards your mortgage, don't give up all hope of a good deal. Our fixed rate ended this December, and we were expecting to have to go onto SVR as our credit rating isn't great at the moment - we are clearing our debts but as it is quite high it reflects on our credit score. Anyway, we got a letter from our lender in November, offering us a new three year fixed deal, fee free, on a lower rate than we were on previously! We snapped it up and now have an extra hundred quid a month towards our debts. We didn't get credit checked for it as we were keeping the same amount, just swapping onto a new deal. So worth contacting your existing lender.

Thanks Ostrich! Can I ask who you have your mortgage with and how long it was between going on the SVR and getting a letter? We moved onto the SVR in September when our fixed rate ended simply because it was cheaper. I didn't think for a minute that we would be rejected for another fixed deal due to our credit score!!! This has freaked me out a little!!! Although the SVR is ok at the moment, the minute it starts going up I was planning to fix for another 3 years. Thanks in advance.

NYD x

recurrent-ostrich

Newyorkdreams wrote: »

Thanks Ostrich! Can I ask who you have your mortgage with and how long it was between going on the SVR and getting a letter? We moved onto the SVR in September when our fixed rate ended simply because it was cheaper. I didn't think for a minute that we would be rejected for another fixed deal due to our credit score!!! This has freaked me out a little!!! Although the SVR is ok at the moment, the minute it starts going up I was planning to fix for another 3 years. Thanks in advance.

NYD x

We are with a building society -Yorkshire and they sent us the letter a month before our old deal ended. Might be worth contacting your lender?

Edit: to add, your existing debt (even unsecured) will certainly impact on the availability of mortgages, especially now they have to assess affordability. They (from what I have been told) tend to take your total unsecured debt off the amount they will lend.

So say for example the total they would lend on your salary is £100,000 and you owe £20,000 then they may only be prepared to offer £80,000.

Newyorkdreams

Hi Nomoredebt - How are you doing? I hope you are ok and managed to enjoy the New Year festivities. :beer:

I think that you have received so many constructive comments and advice on your thread that I would be struggling to add anything of further value. Being a relatively new money saver myself with signficant debts, I'm not sure that my advice is that qualified to be honest! However, what I can offer your debate and eventual decision is life experience. I hope that you can take this is the spirit in which it is meant and add it to the wealth and rich tapestry of info that you have received which will lead you to debate and eventually decide upon a course of action that is right for you and your family.

What I can see when you remove the dialogue, suggestions and comments is that you are consistently spending more than you can afford. Unless you make some big decisions NOW you will end up leading to eventual destruction. Now you can skip around the outside - the groceries, the car insurance, the sky TV but this will not solve the problem. You need to make some BIG decisions - such as do you sell up and pay off your debts? Or do you take your kids out of private education and into a state school? Or can you or your partner up your income somehow? No matter what you decide, you will need to weigh up the risks, the pros and the cons and that decision will be best for your family. Be brave. Don't avoid the big decisions because they are hard. I know what it's like to have to big decisions because of the state our finances are in. My husband had testicular cancer and our chances of conceiving children are reduced, it could also return which would destroy our chances. Yet rather than try and have a baby straight away in the mess we are in which in our eyes would be irresponsible we have had to put all these plans on hold until we are well on the way to being debtfree. It would not be fair to bring up a child under these circumstances, with so much stress on the family - think about that for your own cherubs.

I don't hold strong opinions either way about private v's state education. However, all I know is that I went to an average secondary school (state) and achieved good grades. I am a senior manager in my organisation and I'm only 33. What made the difference without a doubt was the encouragement and support of my parents which gave me a backbone of confidence. When my friends were slagging me off when I was studying and I wouldn't come out, I just remember saying over and over - I need to stay in, I need to do this for my future.. They eventually accepted it and respected me more for it. I know this for a fact.

I guess what I am trying to say is that children don't need private education to be successful. Sure, it helps, because it provides connections and opportunities maybe not experienced or provided in state schools. However, nuturing, support and above all belief in oneself is far more important. Lets face it - if your bright your bright - a teacher can't change what you are born with but their job is maximise it and bring the best out in you. You sound like you could do this together with the right teachers (which can be found in state schools).

Above all, think with your head, not with your heart and definitely not with your fears about the future. Do, this and you will be setting up a future for your children which is debt free and they will thank you endlessly for it. I hope, god willing, that my child will think the same.

Good luck - keep in touch and let us know how you get on.

Remember - it's your decision and whatever you decide will be the right one - ignore everyone else that doesn't approve!

Be Brave.

NYD x

jo91

Beautifully articulated NYD , Nomoredebtplease, I hope you haven't been scared away by some very strong messages here, they are meant with the best will in the world, but it is your decision to make.
All the very best with it and let us know what your thought processes are on this, for all those who have taken time to consider your situation and contributed advice and suggestions.
Good luck.

cutestkids

Newyorkdreams wrote: »

Hi Nomoredebt - How are you doing? I hope you are ok and managed to enjoy the New Year festivities. :beer:

I think that you have received so many constructive comments and advice on your thread that I would be struggling to add anything of further value. Being a relatively new money saver myself with signficant debts, I'm not sure that my advice is that qualified to be honest! However, what I can offer your debate and eventual decision is life experience. I hope that you can take this is the spirit in which it is meant and add it to the wealth and rich tapestry of info that you have received which will lead you to debate and eventually decide upon a course of action that is right for you and your family.

What I can see when you remove the dialogue, suggestions and comments is that you are consistently spending more than you can afford. Unless you make some big decisions NOW you will end up leading to eventual destruction. Now you can skip around the outside - the groceries, the car insurance, the sky TV but this will not solve the problem. You need to make some BIG decisions - such as do you sell up and pay off your debts? Or do you take your kids out of private education and into a state school? Or can you or your partner up your income somehow? No matter what you decide, you will need to weigh up the risks, the pros and the cons and that decision will be best for your family. Be brave. Don't avoid the big decisions because they are hard. I know what it's like to have to big decisions because of the state our finances are in. My husband had testicular cancer and our chances of conceiving children are reduced, it could also return which would destroy our chances. Yet rather than try and have a baby straight away in the mess we are in which in our eyes would be irresponsible we have had to put all these plans on hold until we are well on the way to being debtfree. It would not be fair to bring up a child under these circumstances, with so much stress on the family - think about that for your own cherubs.

I don't hold strong opinions either way about private v's state education. However, all I know is that I went to an average secondary school (state) and achieved good grades. I am a senior manager in my organisation and I'm only 33. What made the difference without a doubt was the encouragement and support of my parents which gave me a backbone of confidence. When my friends were slagging me off when I was studying and I wouldn't come out, I just remember saying over and over - I need to stay in, I need to do this for my future.. They eventually accepted it and respected me more for it. I know this for a fact.

I guess what I am trying to say is that children don't need private education to be successful. Sure, it helps, because it provides connections and opportunities maybe not experienced or provided in state schools. However, nuturing, support and above all belief in oneself is far more important. Lets face it - if your bright your bright - a teacher can't change what you are born with but their job is maximise it and bring the best out in you. You sound like you could do this together with the right teachers (which can be found in state schools).

Above all, think with your head, not with your heart and definitely not with your fears about the future. Do, this and you will be setting up a future for your children which is debt free and they will thank you endlessly for it. I hope, god willing, that my child will think the same.

Good luck - keep in touch and let us know how you get on.

Remember - it's your decision and whatever you decide will be the right one - ignore everyone else that doesn't approve!

Be Brave.

NYD x

What a fantastically well thought out post, really this says all that needs to be said.

OP I really hope that things end up OK for your family

marathon_man_3

Newyorkdreams wrote: »

Remember - it's your decision and whatever you decide will be the right one - ignore everyone else that doesn't approve!

I have to totally disagree with that somewhat romanticised comment. It is the original poster's decisions (not including the IVF costs, of course) that got them into this financial situation that they are desperate to escape from. How can they have been the right decisions?

Newyorkdreams

marathon_man wrote: »

I have to totally disagree with that somewhat romanticised comment. It is the original poster's decisions that got them into this financial situation that they are desperate to escape from. How can they have been the right decisions?

Hi Marathon Man - it's not romance, it's life. The original poster was seeking views on how to get out of his situation because of the wrong decisions he had made in the past (haven't we all made these wrong decisions?). Since then, he has received a wealth of advice and opinion and given the intelligent human being he is, I'm sure he will use this information, consider it and make the right decision for him and his family now armed with all the facts he needs.

If this is not so and we cannot learn from our mistakes, then we are all doomed to a lifetime of bad decision making!

NYD

marathon_man_3

^^
What might be the right decisions for the original poster and his family, may well not be the right decisions to get him out of the financial situation that has accumulated and for which he turned to this board for advice.
I am in my mid-60's and have good experience of life myself. Sometimes, in fact quite often, you shouldn't let your heart rule your head.
Of course, the original poster is intelligent; that is not in doubt.

Newyorkdreams

Hi Marathon Man - I think you misunderstand my post. I am clearly saying that take all the advice and decide as you will and make your decisions by using your HEAD not your HEART (like you have said yourself). This forum cannot simply make these decisions for posters, it is enabling and coaching but not decision making. I'm going to leave it here because I'm sure the original poster is not gaining anything of value from this text tennis match and we will have to agree to disagree.

Cheers

NYD

marathon_man_3

Thanks, Nyd.
I will also similarly step back at this point.