What a Right Pickle!

haycorns

nomoredebtplease wrote: »

There are two reception classes, each with 8 children in. Each of our two is in a different class. But I do understand what you mean. It's a large school further up the years so I don't foresee there being a problem but you never know.

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I like the separate classes - we did that too, in fact all threee of ours went to different secondary schools as difference schools suit different people.

If the school is larger higher up , it can't be uncommon for children to join later - isn't it year 5 in private school where the age break is 9ish/10ish? You could have it all sorted by then and be back on track. You stand a much better chance of maintaining your lifestyle of nice holidays, cars houses etc if you make a tactical decison now. And this is it - money management is just tactics - you take a stab at what will work best for you/do least damage to you and go for it.

If private school is top on your priority list you stick with it, but make sure you know what the trade off is - because somethings got to give - that's why you are here. To the majority private school is unattainable so its not even on our wish list, we don't know the benefits. We live in a middle class area and lots of children moved to private schools at secondary age. I'd agree with others though if you are sticking with it, you need to give the kids the lifestyle that goes with it - music lessons expensive trips etc. All this you can have for the fraction of the cost in a state school.

Be prepared to have a lot less time with your children too, as they get older saturday morning school is quie common, and if you are working long hours in the week it means the precious time with your children is scarce. Make the best of the time you have with them before they are teenagers - you'll see even less of them as they grow older.

Have you looked at what schools are available locally? I would say you can't make an informed choice until you know what you are choosing between

DS4215

What is the contract for the private school like? - you might pull your children out and still have to pay until the end of the next term (or even the school year).

mrsmagpie

I really feel for you nomoredebtplease. You obviously adore your kids which instantly warms me to a person so I hope you take this with the positivity with which it's intended .
I would hate to be in your position on this board because to be honest it's kind of obvious what the answer is to everyone, but we're not in your shoes and don't know the smaller details. It must be maddening to keep reading the same advice over and over when it's the absolute last thing you want to do.

That being said when I read your opening post I thought your twins were older in which case - I personally - would sell my home before I took them out. But they are only 5, they're too young to form solid bonds with their schoolmates yet. If they stay longer it will be far more upsetting to them if they have to be pulled when you simply have no other choice. You're already considering a DMP which suggests you are already running out of choices.

If you're keeping them in PS to save face maybe you could tell people you're taking them out because of the reasons a few teachers on here have mentioned i.e out of date equipment, too small classes etc.

You're obviously a great parent, your judgement is possibly a little clouded because you want the very best for your little ones which is wonderful, but you need to do the best for your family as a whole. You're on the precipice of having it all or losing it all, with your income you really could clear this debt quick and your money could be your own, or you could carry on slogging away for the next decade.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do x

Hopelessly_Hopeful

Good luck whatever you decided

I would go state school until 11. This will allow you to keep the house, pay debt off, develop and have a fund behind you by the time that arrives. Sometimes a good strategy is just as simple as doing things in the right order to secure the best long term future and quality of life.

I very much doubt creditors will let you have the private education. The longer you leave it the worse it will be due to spirral of interest rates. DMP itself will not ruin your credit record, not making payments will. If you stop private education and a bit of belt tightening you can afford 2- 2,300k a month to throw at the debt and be debt free in four years.

HHx

Florida2013

Wanting the best for them isn't necessarily sending them to private school. Have you looked at any of the state schools nearby? What are their OFSTED ratings like?

Perhaps you can identify a couple that might be worth viewing and you can go and have a look. You could even go for a second look with the twins.


It's not the end of the world to remove your children from private school although I can appreciate that it's scary. Maybe make a decision when you've looked at other schools and spoken to other parents.


Do it quickly - new term and all that.

CH27

If you take the children out of private school now & into a good state school they will get a good primary education while you pay off your debts.
When they are due to go to high school you should be debt free & in a much better position to fund the fees.

Lois_and_CK

I totally sympathise that you want to send your children to private school, but consider the lesson you're teaching them. What will stand your children in better stead in life? A privileged education or sound financial lessons from their parents? What are you teaching them by living in debt and potentially on a DMP?

And where will you draw the line? What about when your children are teenagers and they want the latest iPad for Christmas - another credit card? A horse because best schoolfriend has one and it's not fair that they don't - remortgage? Expensive school trips abroad - a second job?

Where is your security in life? Emergency fund? Retirement provision? God forbid, what if you or your partner became seriously ill and couldn't work? The slightest thing going wrong will bring everything down.

Do you not think you'd do your children a far bigger favour in life by teaching them how to manage money by setting the example yourselves as parents? Give them spends in return for tasks, teach them to save up some of their spends for bigger more expensive toys that they want. Be open with them on your own budget - show them how you have to put money in savings for bigger purchases, how much food costs, how much bills are, etc.

Decent financial lessons are the best gift you can give your children and will bring them security, comfort and safety for the rest of their lives. What more could you want for your children? Teach them to love life, love reading, be amazed at the world around them, be curious, be the best that they can and to strive for their dreams: that comes from great parents and great teachers - not just private schooling.

seriousDFW

I know you have difficult decisions to make and blindly following advice from any internet forum is not the right thing to do. However, taking into consideration the advice you have received and then deciding how to proceed definitely is.

To add to this, I have to agree about private schooling with the other posters. I am a secondary state school teacher, for frame of reference. I have worked in a state school which is literally considered one of the best in the country. Parents locally often send their children to private school for primary and then to this school for secondary, because the results are far better than the private school. I also have a friend who went to one of the best private schools in the country, and to be honest I am really surprised at how poor his exam results were; worse than mine (I had a bog-standard state education). He's no less intelligent than me so I don't know why his results weren't as good. I also have friends who have decided to send their children to private primary school because the state schools in their area are much worse. I have no agenda about private/state education; I believe different schools suit different pupils and I have no bias about which is better, because I know for certain that there are some private schools better than state ones, and some state ones better than private ones.

The point I'm making is don't assume private schools are better. Sometimes they are, sometimes they aren't. Also different schools suit different pupils. I would completely ignore the fact that a school is private/state, and do some research about all schools in your area. Visit them, delve into their ethos, and decide which is the best one for your children. If private school is for the best, it's your decision and I'd say do what you think is best. But you may find state schools are genuinely better in your area. Without knowing, we can't decide, but as a parent you should research fully and make that decision. Sorry if you have, it just seems that it's possible you've opted for private schools just because you think they must automatically be better, which is completely wrong. It is also about the values you want to instill, so that's another consideration.

Please keep in touch and let us know what you decide to do, you come across as a really genuine guy.

recurrent-ostrich

As regards your mortgage, don't give up all hope of a good deal. Our fixed rate ended this December, and we were expecting to have to go onto SVR as our credit rating isn't great at the moment - we are clearing our debts but as it is quite high it reflects on our credit score. Anyway, we got a letter from our lender in November, offering us a new three year fixed deal, fee free, on a lower rate than we were on previously! We snapped it up and now have an extra hundred quid a month towards our debts. We didn't get credit checked for it as we were keeping the same amount, just swapping onto a new deal. So worth contacting your existing lender.

marathon_man_3

I can only concur with other comments above.

You might not like this, original poster, but I feel that you are sending your children to private school both because of your high earnings (ignoring your outgoings) and because you initially thought the private education system simply has to be better than state.
You have poo-poohed the suggestion that you take your children to a state school and have also knocked the idea of moving to a cheaper property. You can clearly make savings on other expenditure, as previously suggested by others, but you have simply got to get real on this and make the hard decision, for you, to take your children to a state school. You won't be displaying any lack of love for your children whatsoever by doing so and they will be very quick to adapt.
You are clearly a loving and highly intelligent person but, with regards to your finances, common sense and logic have clearly deserted you.
Time to act !