How to stay cool when dealing with passive aggressive person?

ostrichnomore_2

ooh I just found some information on JADE - a theory where you should never justify, argue, defend or explain, and that seems to be his tactic down to a T. It sounds like a good idea when you are dealing with an unreasonable person, but I'm not an unreasonable person and he JADEs (and always has) inappropriately when it only means he becomes unreasonable and make situations worse. JADE strikes me as a very rude and nasty way to behave if you do it when you shouldn't. JADE is not supposed to be used as an evasion tactic when you are doing something wrong...It's not meant to be used in perfectly normal situations, only when you are having problems with someone not respecting your decisions. and even then, I have to say that I don't think it's very fair to JADE in all those circumstances either. He had an affair and has JADEd all aspects of that, wouldn't even admit it (despite heaps of evidence to the contrary) and I think that after 10 years together I deserved a bit of an explanation! Still, that's history now, it's the here and now I need to deal with.

It sums up his whole attitude to me for years. when you are in a relationship with someone you aren't supposed to JADE over every little normal interaction! And now we are ex's, it's still very unhelpful. We run a business together and are currently sharing a house (yes I KNOW that part is not ideal, it's just for now) and my attitude is that we should try to cooperate and be as civil as possible, with give and take on both sides.
So, now I've got a handle on what he's doing, I can work out how to deal with it. I suppose I could start JADEing everything as well, but it seems like a stupid game to me under the circumstances. But II probably makes life easier for you. so I can just say 'no' to what I know he's going to ask me and refuse to make any further comments.

for sure if I ever meet another passive aggressive I'll run a mile before getting into a relationship with them!

geoffky

Just say "how nice" to everything they say...It drives them crazy...