Can my year 11 DS drop a subject?

[Deleted User]

Appalled to see some of the attitudes of parents on here saying they shouldn't do it if they don't want to etc. You should want your kids to do their best and not mollycoddle them.

Its a big bad world out there and if they don't make an effort its not going to land in their lap.

Must admit - it seems I am somewhat lucky in some respects. My father worked in a factory for 40 years but one thing he did do was make sure he supported me and pushed me through my educational years. He'd have never let me 'give up' on something. He wanted his kids to make the most of themselves and to have something better than he did.

Not sure if there are people on here with that same attitude which is really sad.

[Deleted User]

lindseykim13 wrote: »

Your child doesn't NEED GCSE's to get by in life, he doesn't NEED to do subjects he doesn't like or find interesting.

OK I'm an employer.

10 years time your child and someone else comes in for an interview. I ask them about school, qualifications etc.

Other person tells me about his GCSEs, A Levels, Uni degree.

Your child tells me he has no qualifications but that he had a lovely time at home and did some great things. Might even be quite interesting.

In all honesty, who do you think 99.99% of employers will pick?

Mara69

Many years ago, my school tried to teach me Spanish, French and Latin (at various times during my schooling). I was so rubbish at all three and my parents tried to get the school to allow me to drop them and concentrate on English but they would not allow it. I still can't speak another language but my English, I am pleased to say, has greatly improved despite my school.

I think it is unfortunate that schools have to be so regimented and rarely allow pupils to concentrate on areas that they might excel, at the expense of areas on which they will never, with the best will in the world, succeed.

Loanranger

No wonder the rest of the world sees the UK as a laughing stock these days. Whatever happened to working hard? Just because English is the lingua franca of business doesn't mean we, as individuals, should not bother to learn other languages.
I did French and German at school and Spanish later in life. Was useless! But I am so grateful to have stuck with it and learned the basics and the vocabulary. It's surprising how much can be remembered from school. when you visit Germany, Spain and France.
Many Dutch people speak five or six languages, and Belgians are not far behind.

seven-day-weekend

Loanranger wrote: »

No wonder the rest of the world sees the UK as a laughing stock these days. Whatever happened to working hard? Just because English is the lingua franca of business doesn't mean we, as individuals, should not bother to learn other languages.
I did French and German at school and Spanish later in life. Was useless! But I am so grateful to have stuck with it and learned the basics and the vocabulary. It's surprising how much can be remembered from school. when you visit Germany, Spain and France.
Many Dutch people speak five or six languages, and Belgians are not far behind.

When I asked my Dutch neighbour why Dutch people spoke so many languages, he said 'because no-one else speaks Dutch'.

I agree though, we Brits are lazy about languages and really we need to learn them at Primary School, like the Dutch and Scandinavians do. It's too late for some children by the time they get to Secondary School.

LittleMissAspie

Caroline_a wrote: »

But the only lesson that he will learn unfortunately if you let him drop the subject is that if he finds things difficult then it's ok to stop doing it. Life really isnt like that...

Yes it is. Everyone chooses how they live and everyone can choose to do things they are able to instead of struggling through every day and being unhappy.

podperson wrote:

I know that many times I've hung on with things way longer then I should have done because of the kind of mentality that 'you're a failure if you give up on something' - when tbh something you're just looking at the bigger picture and accepting that something isn't right for you.

Exactly this. I had CBT and she spent a lot of time trying to convince me that it's okay if I don't get to the end of my to do list. I have been doing a lot better since then. It had never occurred to me before, that the right thing to do was to do less.

PinkLipgloss

I find it really sad that lots of people (teens and adults) have the attitude that they are "bad" at particular subjects.

There seems to be an underlying thought process of, "I don't find X easy therefore I'm not and cannot be any good at it".

There has been a lot of fascinating research done in peoples views of intelligence, self theories etc and basically if you see intelligence as being "incremental" you will do well in education (realising that you CAN improve and that whilst you may make numerous mistakes you can fundamentally use them as a stepping stone to mastery) whilst those who believe intelligence to be "fixed" will ultimately give up believing X subject to be beyond their ability.

If anyones interested I recommend looking at Howard Gardners research into intelligence and Carol Dweck's "Self Theories and their role in motivation, personality and development". Excellent reading!

miduck

lindseykim13 wrote: »

Your child doesn't NEED GCSE's to get by in life, he doesn't NEED to do subjects he doesn't like or find interesting.
All these people stating you have to do crap things in life because thats life are just wrong. It's not right as a child to learn subjects that make you cry same as it's not right as an adult to be in a job that makes you cry!
Why do some people think it's perfectly ok to make a child do something they have no interest in!
The school will tell your child what they should and shouldn't be learning as per their daft rules set by a daft government.
Plently of kids get on perfectly fine in life without a single exam.
My 3 kids oldest being 10 are all home schooled and they won't be taking any exams they don't want to take. They have their own minds and interests and shouldn't all be put through the same system like sheep.
I know plenty of kids that have not a single exam and gone on to college and uni and took subjects they wanted to take.
Just giving you another choice-anyone can decide to remove their child from school and teach them at home if they so wish. You son doesn't have to go to school and do rubbish subjects.
They could allow him to go home for that lesson if they wanted to as they are allowed to offer flexi schooling to those who want to part time home school so you could ask about flexi schooling and say you want to teach him on those days and times when the lessons are and do something he enjoys.

Wow, some actually thanked this? :eek:

SnowWhiterThanWhite

[quote=[Deleted User];58074189]How old is he? Already you've written him off for that possibility?

Also, it never ceases to amazd me when people say - I could never go to university I'm not clever enough.

Pretty much anyone can go to University IF THEY WANT TO. Might be harder for some than others to cope buts its all about belief in yourself and working hard.[/QUOTE]

Hi, thanks for your comment. I most certainly haven't 'written him off' but, having seen him struggle through most of school, I simply cannot make him learn and take in information. He sits at the dinner table every evening and weekend for 90 minutes to revise - From his mocks, it is obvious that the information is not being retained by him.

His plan is to join one of the services, and he is fully aware of the entry requirements, but, he can only do his best - no more.

As for home schooling, great idea, but, I certainly couldn't do it myself, not least of all because I work full time.

I have thought about a tutor, but, sadly, it would be out of my financial reach.

I really want to thank you all for your comments - they have certainly given me food for thought and I will definately have a long think over the school holidays as to our decision going forward.

A very merry christmas to all of you X

PinkLipgloss

If his 90 mins of study is proving ineffective I think he needs to seriously re-consider his technique(s).

What ever approach he is taking clearly isn't working for him. I suggest looking out some study skills books. I personally find mind mapping highly effective - during exams I can "picture" relevant maps in my mind and use them to recall key facts/info. I'm not saying it works for everyone but there are a variety of techniques out there.