Surnames

marisco_2

I think that until she is 18 your ex would have to give his permission for a change to your daughters surname. I hope this question wont cause any offence but something niggled me when reading your post. Does your daughter have a good relationship with her dad, or is there a reason why she wishes to disassociate herself from him by changing her surname?

Fosterdog

Errata wrote: »

If this is something she's come up with out of the blue, perhaps a first step would be to gently and very slowly get to the bottom of why she wants to change her name.

I'd have to agree, at four years old she doesn't really understand the meaning of names and why some people change them etc.

My friend's four year old went for a week where she would only answer to Dora, she was convinced she was Dora the Explorer. A few weeks later she became Cinderella for a day. It's something four year olds often do but you wouldn't change your daughters first name just because she asked you to so her surname should be no different.

Errata

My six year old great neice has three beautiful first names and insists on being called Bob! Don't ask :rotfl:

SallyCinnamon

My four year old DD has been desperate to have blue eyes like mine rather than the beautiful brown eyes she gets from her Dad for a year or so...(we're not married but very much together and she adores him).

I think sometimes little girls just want to be like their mums and you might not need to give it any more weight than that at this age.

365days

A recent thread about this is on child support forum. From the Dad's perspective!
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4326437

marisco_2

Errata wrote: »

My six year old great neice has three beautiful first names and insists on being called Bob! Don't ask :rotfl:

This did make me giggle. For years I was convinced I was going to change into a boy and be called Simon. Why, because when I was naughty my mother use to say to me 'When you get some common sense and grow up you will be just like Simon'. A little boy next door who was perfect beyond words :cool:

meritaten

I was going to suggest double-barelling the surnames. my grandson had a DB surname - and when he was 10 or 11 he decided to drop the 'fathers' part of it. a year later he decided he wanted to be known by his stepfathers surname (mum and stepdad had been married some years by then). He made the decisions and his fathers anger didnt bother him, he is adamant his surname is same as mum and stepdad and says when he is older he is legally changing it. in the meantime the school have been happy to use his preferred name and so do the doctors etc! you just have to let people know the name you are 'using'.

System

As a child my youngest daughter always said she hated her first name and always said she wished we had called her something not quite as unusual.

However, at the grand old age of 26 she tells me that she likes it now.

Kids are fickle.

SingleSue

After my divorce, I retained my married name so that I would have the same surname as the children and because it had been my identity for more years than my maiden name had been.

Fast forward a few years and eldest has double barrelled his name to include my maiden name and middle son wants to completely remove his surname and replace with my maiden name!

Re people remarrying and the new wife having the same surname as the previous children...the new wife decided to have her hair cut whilst they were visiting down here and off she went to the hairdressers, making the appointment they asked for her name and she said she was Mrs *******...they turned round and greeted her with "Oh welcome back Susan, what are you having done today"

She was not an impressed cookie :rotfl:

SingleSue

Judi wrote: »

As a child my youngest daughter always said she hated her first name and always said she wished we had called her something not quite as unusual.

However, at the grand old age of 26 she tells me that she likes it now.

Kids are fickle.

I told my parents I always hated my first name and so, in 1982, told them I wanted to be Sue not Susan.

My friends call me Sue, my boyfriend calls me Sue, the ex husband calls me Sue...my parents still call me Susan.

Strangely, even though I prefer to be called Sue, I get really annoyed if that is used on official documents, certificates or medical reports...for that I am most def Susan or Mrs ******