Surnames

pollyanna24

My oldest daughter is only 4, but she seems pretty adamant that she doesn't want her father's (my ex's) surname. She knows what her name is and that it is the same as daddy's, but she always says that she wants the same name as me.

Now, of course, as time goes on, she might become more accepting of it, but is there a legal age where she can change it if she wants to, or does she have to wait till she's 16/18?

System

is your ex liable to object?

Lovelyjoolz

If anyone wishes to be known by a different name they can change their name at any time, provided they do not intend to deceive or defraud another person. There is no legal procedure to follow in order to change a name. You simply start using the new name. You can change your forename or surname, add names or rearrange your existing names.

Although there is no legal way to change a name, you may want evidence that you have changed your name. However, you cannot change details on your birth certificate, except in limited circumstances.

pollyanna24

Most definitely! He sees her and her sister quite a lot. I'm not unduly bothered by the surname, but my eldest seems to be for some reason.

I'd rather have the children and them have his name, rather than him have the children and they have my name, if that makes sense!

pollyanna24

Lovelyjoolz wrote: »

If anyone wishes to be known by a different name they can change their name at any time, provided they do not intend to deceive or defraud another person. There is no legal procedure to follow in order to change a name. You simply start using the new name. You can change your forename or surname, add names or rearrange your existing names.

Although there is no legal way to change a name, you may want evidence that you have changed your name. However, you cannot change details on your birth certificate, except in limited circumstances.

I kind of see what you mean. But say for school purposes, what would I tell them what her name is. Her dad's name? Or what she wants to be known as, my name?

System

I think your going to have a fight on your hands if you want to change their names whilst their Father is still actively involved in their lives. I think your going to open up a can of worms.

When i was a little girl i wanted red hair but that didnt mean my Mom let me dye it. I just had to live with what i'd got. If you catch my drift.;)

I changed my childrens surnames when they were 6 and 7 to my husbands surname when i got pregnant with their sister. I didnt want them to have felt different but my ex wasnt around so it was easy to do.

nfollows1982

I know at school at least she can have an alternative 'know as name' for her school books etc.

So if you are Ms Smith and she is currently Miss Brown, she can be known as Miss Smith at scool without legally changing her name.

She will still legally be Miss Brown on the school database but all her books and reports will come to you as Miss Smith.

pollyanna24

Yeah, I'm not planning on doing anything about it at the moment. I'll see if she's going on about it in a couple of years' time.

She just seems to get worked up over it, so I'm going to not mention surnames for a while! Although at school they might, but guess that is something that she will have to live with.

The only reason why I would want to change their surnames is if my ex married his new gf. I wouldn't be too happy with this other woman having the same surname as my children, but me a diff one. But I guess that's just what I'd have to live with. My mother did try and tell me not to give the girls their dad's name, but as I thought we were going to get married, I did it anyway.

System

The only reason why I would want to change their surnames is if my ex married his new gf. I wouldn't be too happy with this other woman having the same surname as my children, but me a diff one.

not wishing to come over as a bit of a cow and i want to say it in the nicest possible way but its not about you is it?

Tropez

For what little it is likely worth:

My surname by birth is different to the surname I have used throughout my life. Those who became my parents never needed to go through any legal procedure for schools to accept that I was known by a different name to my birth name. They knew about it, as I happened to catch a glimpse of the school register one day and my "real" surname was in brackets.

When I was 11 my parents opted to obtain a deed poll on my behalf through the court because I was getting to the age where I would soon be opening bank accounts and the rest of it and they didn't want any difficulties due to me using what was effectively an assumed name.

I am 29 now so there may have been a change in the law or change in guidelines for schools to follow regarding such matters.

maman

Lovelyjoolz wrote: »

If anyone wishes to be known by a different name they can change their name at any time, provided they do not intend to deceive or defraud another person. There is no legal procedure to follow in order to change a name. You simply start using the new name. You can change your forename or surname, add names or rearrange your existing names.

Although there is no legal way to change a name, you may want evidence that you have changed your name. However, you cannot change details on your birth certificate, except in limited circumstances.

I believe this to be true of an adult but not of a child. As Judi suggests, if the father objects to them not using his name then they can't do it. I realise it's your single name your DD wants to use but it crops up often when women take on new partners/husbands and want to change all the children's names to her own 'new' one. The father has a legal right to object if it's his name on the birth certificate.

nfollows1982 wrote: »

I know at school at least she can have an alternative 'know as name' for her school books etc.

So if you are Ms Smith and she is currently Miss Brown, she can be known as Miss Smith at scool without legally changing her name.

She will still legally be Miss Brown on the school database but all her books and reports will come to you as Miss Smith.

Technically, schools shouldn't do this. When a child is admitted they should check the birth certificate (to be sure which year group) and register the child with the name on the certificate. if they just accept a 'known as' name they could be going against the natural father's wishes. I know this may sound melodramatic but it's also important that children can be traced through the system for attendance/child protection purposes so starting afresh with new names shouldn't be allowed.