my marriage has ended

tasha24

hi theer my husband is horrible to my 11 year old daughter it is his child whilst he is amazing to our 2 year old boy x we have been together 10 years married for 5 x our marriage started to fail after our son came along my hubby has a great job but me and the kids felt second best i work 3 days look after kids every day he left me last year and he decided to move back home and work at it so... for 2 months we were very very happy days out etc until he went away for a week with work and he cheated with an 18 yr old he is 33 im 28 i deffinatly do not look my age or look like i have children she looked plain i couldnt believe it any way he denied evry thing for 7 weeks i knew he was lieing i was so hurt by all of it i trusted him so much . any way because i love him i tried to forget it but inside i was dieing the pain was unbearable and we started argung loads over kids he never evr shows me love ever my heart has been breakin for yrs with him we have a nice house to beautifull kids and both love eachothr what else could we want x any way he was calling me names in front of our kids so i told him to leave and seeked advice legally x i miss him but he was coming home every night alway tired boring never wanted to go out i still love him when does all the pain end he was my life he has turned nasty to me wont talk to me or anything i feel like im dieing inside can any 1 help x will he find etter than me x

duncans-mum_2

tasha. Just reading you post, i just wanted to say how sorry I am for how you are feeling. I don't want to hijack you thread at all, and am in no position to answer the questions you have. I have just been left by my partner of 9 yrs and i agree the pain is unbearable. But you just need to focus on things like your kids. You will have good days and bad days, just let yourself feel what you need to feel, anger, emotional you need to let it all out. I really am thinking of you, and i think talking to people either friends or family ot just strangers on here really does help.

hobo28

Hi Tasha

Sorry to hear what you are going through. Although the words seem hollow now, things will get better over time.

Take the time you need to mourn the loss of your marriage but you must stay strong for your children's sake.

Polly_Wolly

Hi Tasha
Life can be so !!!!!! at times, no one can tell you how long your pain will last or how soon you will feel better. But it will get better, try & do something good for yourself & stay positive i know it's easier said than done. (((hugs)))

love_lifer

sounds horrible. its really important to talk to friends and also a counsellor if ur self esteem is really low
good luck, and remember the hurt passes- we've all been thru it and we survive tho its sh*t at the time

before_hollywood

Tasha, i'm really sorry to hear what has happened to you, i know what you are going through because a few years ago i was in a relationship with someone i had known pretty much my whole life and then i found out she had cheated on me. A lot of the words i would use to describe anyone who does that to their partner i can't say on mse, so i just think of them as cowards, that goes for my ex g/f, my mates ex (who did it to him a couple of months ago) and another friends ex husband who did the same thing about 2 years ago.
i wish i could answer your questions but to be honest i have no idea as to what the answers would be, i asked myself all the same questions when it happened to me, back then i was prevented from having female friends (i am male as you can probably tell) and in the end all i could do was my own thing, i took up a hobby, through which i met some great friends (i started creative writing classes at my local night school), about 8 months after me and my ex finished i met someone else (although it didn't work out) and one of the people i met through the classes i have now inadvertantly set up with his fiance. if it makes you feel any better (and i hope it does) he is an ignorant coward and she is just an ugly immature mess.

a quick story related to this whole thing- i actually saw my ex a while after we split, i had started going out again (was never allowed to do that) and saw her with her new bloke- he was hideous!!!!!! i mean i am fairly ordinary and would never be described as big headed but he looked an absolute freak.

victory

The pain tasha is going to be intense for a while but it eases with time and continously talking about it to all your friends and family....remind yourself of his bad points by listing them all down, keep busy, take care of the kids, look to their future if you cannot see yours yet but there is one there always is....

Your kids need you and you need them, make their lives happy and calm and you will be rewarded in the future, don't let him drag you down, you stand tall and proud and remember what goes around comes around...

Little_Miss_Saver

Hi Tasha (((HUGS)))

I know how your feeling, my exOH slept with a girl 10 years younger than me/him (we both 30), she was also prettier and slimmer than me and the hurt and pain was horrendous. However it does subside in time, I can't say I'm truly over it just yet (It happened 4months ago).

For me I've found focusing on our DS (10), work and the house kept me going. I'm also thinking of joing a gym so that I can lose some pounds and hopefully make some new friends.

My ex soon realised that the grass is not greener on the other side and he now keeps pestering me to come home (I can get upto 30 txts a day). I still love him but could not have him back as the trust as totally gone and I cannot forgive him for what he did, I'm trying to keep it amicable with him for the sake of our DS but it's hard at times.

Stay strong girl! and no he wont find anyone better than you, you will find someone better than him.

Take Care

LMS xx

tasha24

hi all thank you so much i think today is a hard day he text my 10 year old saying he misses them both and would like to see them on weds for a macdonalds saying if it was ok with me thing is he shouldn arrange times with her its confusing for them both i dont want him back im just so sad its over he wont even discuss anything x he is over weight no personality i remember buying som enice under wear for me and him i said to him do you like it he said its ok not sl.ty enuff i gave him every thing i would never turn kids on him never hirt him his views of me are truelly horrible he acting asif he hates me and its all my fault im bad tempered very bubbly very popular up 4 a laff he chilled placid i only found out 7 weeks ago he likes my eyes i feel ugly evil a bad person x i suppose i ust got to look to tomorrow and see my childrens smiles etc and look at what i have and what he has not got x i never ever want him to be happy i gave him my dream and he burst my bubble x

Little_Miss_Saver

Hi Tasha

(((HUGS AGAIN)))

I set up an arrangement with my ex that he would have our DS on a Saturday and he could come and visit him on the evening on his day off. So far he has him on a saturday afternoon. I would never stop our DS from seeing him, no matter how hard it is for me to see him.

Don't blame yourself for what's happened, I thought that I must have done something to make my ex do what he did but I realised that it was his fault and not mine.

I know it very hard but when he comes round be strong and make it look like you've been able to continue as normal and none of this has affected you. I've done this & my ex hates it - he wants me to be a total wreck, but what he dosn't know is that I still have a secret cry sometimes at night!!

Take Care

LMS xx

fruitcake_2

What a terrible time you must have been having! Hugs and love for you and your lovely children xx

Focus on what you do have, focus on how lovely, strong and brave you are for putting your mental and your children's health first! You are amazing!!

Whatever you focus on you will attract into your life. I won't put my past hurt on here, but will tell you that you can either choose to let the pain drag you into past memories, or you can start to think about all the happiness you are going to have.

I applaud you for doing the right thing for you, I hope you have at least one close friend you are able to talk it out with,

hugs xxx