Not 'doing' Santa

balletshoes

Person_one wrote: »

Its important to realise that you will be setting your child apart from every other child they know, they will feel isolated at Christmas, they will feel funny about having to keep a 'secret' from their friends and other parents will probably be a bit wary of them in case they 'spill the beans' as the child of separating parents did in my case.

but it doesn't have to be like that at all for the child. In my daughter's primary school they had children who didn't celebrate Christmas or believe in Santa. The whole class had a discussion about it when they were about 7 years old (so most of those who believed in Santa still believed at that age). It didn't kill the magic for those who were brought up with Santa to hear that for some people he was just a story, and Santa didn't come to their house. My DD's 2 best friends didn't have Santa, and while she felt sorry for them, it was only until she realised that they had other special days when they got special treats, it just wasnt Santa and it wasn't on Christmas Day.

quantumleap

broace wrote: »

She is imagining and creating those things herself, it's part of normal childhood development. She isn't being lied to by her Parents as she would be if they adopted Santa.

I disagree (respectfully of course!)

I appreciate these two things are not easily comparable.

However you can't seriously accuse parents all over the world of lying to their children.

Perhaps you haven't noticed but life for most adults is a difficult old slog at the best of times and whilst we should of course allow children to let their imaginations run wild (even though we know what they are imagining isn't real) we should also allow them the opportunity to believe in fairytales before they embark on the difficult old slog.

Believing in Santa for a short few years will do them no more or no less harm than thinking their light produces biscuits or that dragonfly's live under the fridge.

Person_one

balletshoes wrote: »

but it doesn't have to be like that at all for the child. In my daughter's primary school they had children who didn't celebrate Christmas or believe in Santa. The whole class had a discussion about it when they were about 7 years old (so most of those who believed in Santa still believed at that age). It didn't kill the magic for those who were brought up with Santa to hear that for some people he was just a story, and Santa didn't come to their house. My DD's 2 best friends didn't have Santa, and while she felt sorry for them, it was only until she realised that they had other special days when they got special treats, it just wasnt Santa and it wasn't on Christmas Day.

I just think its a bit mean to put a child in a situation where everybody else has this completely harmless belief that is magical and makes them happy and yours is on the sidelines unable to fully join in or experience the same wonder.

duchy

I do lots of things differently to other parents ...... I choose which childhood traditions are right for MY family and MY beliefs ........BUT I don't insist on ramming my beliefs down the throats of others or start threads inviting people to hang, draw or quarter me........ I suspect Santa is the least of your child's problems !!!

peachyprice

duchy wrote: »

I do lots of things differently to other parents ...... I choose which childhood traditions are right for MY family and MY beliefs ........BUT I don't insist on ramming my beliefs down the throats of others or start threads inviting people to hang, draw or quarter me........ I suspect Santa is the least of your child's problems !!!

:T:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

ziggy2004

pulliptears wrote: »

You intend to take away a pivotal part of childhood, a part which to most kids (and adults) is magical and special and part of the fun of growing up.

Wow pivotal part of childhood ???

I am not from the UK and during my childhood santa was just not around. We never did presents at Christmas but instead did presents for St nicholas ( 5/6 December depending on where you come from).

There are plenty of ways to make things magic without using santa. Yes santa is something that makes christmas magic for many people but that does not mean it is of vital or critical importance to every child's childhood;)

And I am thankful that we do not do santa as it meant that when some inferring old biddie tried to scare my children ( we were quietly standing beside me in a shop) by telling them that if they did not listen to mummy santa would not bring them anything. Wish I could have taken a picture when she got told they already got their presents as they get them early :rotfl:

They view Santa in much the same way as they view mickey mouse

kittybangbang

If you don't want to 'do Santa' then don't do it. There's no point coming on here to ask other people's opinions, as at the end of the day, each family is diffferent, and we will all do as we see fit.

Personally I don't have kids yet, but I know when I do that imagination is a big part of childhood, and I will do anything to encourage my kids' excitement, whether it be with Santa, or any other character from a book/film/their imagination. There's something brilliant about the innocence of childhood, and if they want to believe in him, then that's fine by me.

peachyprice

ziggy2004 wrote: »

Wow pivotal part of childhood ???

I am not from the UK and during my childhood santa was just not around. We never did presents at Christmas but instead did presents for St nicholas ( 5/6 December depending on where you come from).

There are plenty of ways to make things magic without using santa. Yes santa is something that makes christmas magic for many people but that does not mean it is of vital or critical importance to every child's childhood;)

And I am thankful that we do not do santa as it meant that when some inferring old biddie tried to scare my children ( we were quietly standing beside me in a shop) by telling them that if they did not listen to mummy santa would not bring them anything. Wish I could have taken a picture when she got told they already got their presents as they get them early :rotfl:

They view Santa in much the same way as they view mickey mouse

So you wouldn't have felt left out if all the other children in your country were celebrating St. Nicholas on 5/6 December but your parents had chosen to not let you be part of that tradition?

pulliptears

ziggy2004 wrote: »

Wow pivotal part of childhood ???

I am not from the UK

Yes, a pivotal part of childhood, especially in the UK. Ask your average adult if they could imagine a childhood without the magic of Christmas. A Christmas Eve without lying in bed convinced they could here sleigh bells.

Father Christmas is a harmless yet important part of childhood in this country. So you grew up without it, fair enough and thats normal for where you are from, but here Santa Claus is important and tbh if you aren't from this country and never had it I don't see how you can testify to its significance.

System

I remember the disapointment when i found out Santa wasnt real and i never actively encouraged my kids to believe in Santa either. I never sat down and told them he wasnt real until they asked but i never led them to believe was either.

How do you explain to a child who has very few presents why Santa has left their friends loads more?

Who in the right mind would come down a chimney when theres obviously a gas fire stopping him?

I wanted my kids to be able to trust my words rather than fill them with a pack of lies. To me, Christmas is the nativity.

I remember my Mom taking my eldest two children to see Santa when they were about 5 and 6. My eldest said he stunk (what of i'll never know).

I'm not saying that i think everyone else is wrong in allowing their childrens belief.... it just wasnt for me thats all.