Not 'doing' Santa

shegirl

quinechinoise wrote: »

My kids have some very rich classmates. I'd rather they didn't feel they were naughty because they get significantly fewer/cheaper gifts than their friends. It's not "special" to feel bad.

What makes you think they would? It's been going on for years and just how many of us have felt we were naughty because we didn't get the same amount or got cheaper gifts???? I've never known anyone to feel like that.

I think some people put too much thought into this and don't realise just how magic Christmas can be to kids -they don't sit comparing notes and feeling carp!

quinechinoise

lostinrates wrote: »

I think that's pushing it'Santa' meaning 'saint' and Christianity having developed (in different directions) since the bible was was written.

Santa is Spanish for saint and Santa Claus is quite probably a corrupted/Anglicised version of Saint Nicholas. (Ditto the Dutch Sinterklaas - although were they got Black Pete, I don't know.) However, it is still quite valid to say St Nick wasn't mentioned in the bible.

Gloomendoom

margaretclare wrote: »

I don't know about Muslims, but I have Jewish relatives-in-law and they were talking about their Christmas presents last time I saw them. Just the same as anyone else - what to buy, what do you want etc.

I've got Muslim relatives and they get involved at Christmas. I've had pressies from them and they, and their children, receive presents from us, and other non-Muslim relatives too. Not sure if they give them to each other though.

I haven't seen them at midnight mass either.
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notanewuser

lostinrates wrote: »

This is a new perspective for me and I like it.

Op the left out, or the not encouraging it would not worry me at all. What might is the lack of any 'magical' imagination stimulating things in her formative years, the idea that things don't have to be seen to be true or possible (important for science and development Of technology)

I also hesitantly suggest that your slightly..'black and white' op suggests a rather intolerant approach. I think you have a wonderful opportunity as a non believer to teach her that belief is acceptable for others, sensitivity towards what others believe is helpful for them, and for her politically, and that while it might never form part of her life she will be unlikely to avoid any influence from other people's belief...for example, bank holidays for achristmas and Easter.

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We absolutely will be teaching her tolerance of other people's beliefs and sensitivity towards others' feelings.

She's already showing an active imagination. Apparently her nightlight gives out magic biscuits and there's a dragonfly living under the fridge!! :rotfl:

smithyjules

Hi there,

I celebrated Christmas with my parents until I was 6, when we lost my Brother to cot death. From then on my parents became Jehovah's Witnesses and I followed suit until I was 13.

I am not religious at all, I choose to put my faith and love into those around me. I also strongly believe religion is a very personal choice and so when my Daughter asks questions about what she has learnt in School/heard from other children I try to start my responses with "some people believe/celebrate...", encouraging her to ask questions and show interest in what other people believe.

For me Christmas is a time for families and friends to spend time together, give and receive gifts and have fun. Father Christmas is just all part of the 'magic' for me, but we have chosen to tell our children that Father Christmas sends them one gift (which always has "love from FC" on the tag) and all the other gifts are from the people themselves, although we do get ours delivered by FC.

I like my children to be able to thank the people that have given them gifts so they know where they come from.

We have a funny old way of doing things here, but seeing as I have no example to go by as I grew up not celebrating Xmas I don't care lol!!:rotfl:

quinechinoise

shegirl wrote: »

What makes you think they would? It's been going on for years and just how many of us have felt we were naughty because we didn't get the same amount or got cheaper gifts???? I've never known anyone to feel like that.

I think some people put too much thought into this and don't realise just how magic Christmas can be to kids -they don't sit comparing notes and feeling carp!

Because kids do compare stuff? It's not like they don't talk about their expensive toys and their flashy vacations. They do. Not in a bad way, as such - it's not to deliberately incite negative emotions. But my kids do have to understand that not everyone can afford the same things. I'm not going to condone a situation where my kids think you can ask for anything because "santa" will gift it for free.

quantumleap

notanewuser wrote: »

We absolutely will be teaching her tolerance of other people's beliefs and sensitivity towards others' feelings.

She's already showing an active imagination. Apparently her nightlight gives out magic biscuits and there's a dragonfly living under the fridge!! :rotfl:

Are you actively discouraging her from believing her nightlight gives out magic biscuits and are you insisting that dragonfly's cannot possibly live under the fridge? If you are not prepared to allow her to believe in Santa by telling her he isn't real (which I'm assuming is what you are doing because if you don't then of course she will believe as most people will assume children will believe and treat her as such) then why would you allow her to think magic biscuits given out by her nightlight and dragonfly's under the fridge are real!

balletshoes

quinechinoise wrote: »

Because kids do compare stuff? It's not like they don't talk about their expensive toys and their flashy vacations. They do. Not in a bad way, as such - it's not to deliberately incite negative emotions. But my kids do have to understand that not everyone can afford the same things. I'm not going to condone a situation where my kids think you can ask for anything because "santa" will gift it for free.

again though, that depends on what you tell your child about Santa - he's never been a bottomless pit of pressies in my family, and Mum and Dad help pay for the pressies from Santa. I can honestly say, even when surrounded by classmates who were getting ipods, laptops etc for Christmas, my DD has never felt that she was naughty or bad because she didn't get those things from Santa. If she didn't get anything from Santa she might feel like that, because of the way we've told her the Santa story, our way.

Idiophreak

I really think that you need to try and separate Santa from materialism...they're not the same thing at all. The facts that he brings presents is neither here nor there, really - as above, the gifts I got from Santa were always much cheaper than the presents I got from my parents, but I was always uber-excited to see if he'd been, see what was in my stocking and so on.

If you don't have much to spend, you say "don't be greedy...if you're greedy, you'll go on the naughty list!" and that should straighten it out...but I've honestly never come across a child that thinks Santa's got bottomless pockets, anyway.

Personally, I think it would be a real shame for a child to grow up without that sense of belief and wonder...

Person_one

themull1 wrote: »

I agree with this poster, its lovely for the kids to have the magic of santa claus, whats being an atheist got to do with it? i'm not religious, but my kids believed in Santa, The easter bunny ,tooth fairy, jack frost etc - life is !!!!!! enough when you become an adult, making things magical for kids is something nice to do when they're young enough to believe it. Believing in things when you're a kid, doesn't affect you when you're an adult!

Have to agree with this.

My parents were atheists, but I don't think Father Christmas (as he is called in this country, Santa is for Americans!) is anything to do with religious belief. Its a tradition, a fun make believe that does no harm. There have never been any wars or genocides in the name of Father Christmas, belief naturally fades away before kids are 10 and nobody ends up in therapy because their parents lied to them about Santa.

I stopped believing relatively young, because a friend's dad had just walked out on the family and her mum had told her the truth about why she wouldn't be getting any presents that year. She told the whole class.

However, cruel as that was, I still remember how lovely it was to read 'The Night Before Christmas' before bed on Christmas Eve and listen for bells or hooves, how exciting it was to see that the mince pie and the carrot had been eaten, and how amazing it was to think there was magic in the world. Father Christmas is what gives Christmas that special 'something' for non religious children.

Its important to realise that you will be setting your child apart from every other child they know, they will feel isolated at Christmas, they will feel funny about having to keep a 'secret' from their friends and other parents will probably be a bit wary of them in case they 'spill the beans' as the child of separating parents did in my case.

I'd consider exactly why you feel its important to deny them this aspect of childhood that nearly all their peers will experience and get a great deal of happiness from. You didn't invent Father Christmas, you aren't responsible for how completely ubiquitous the myth has become, but you have to work with the world you live in.