ten month split

Avoriaz

thebull wrote: »

..As I say advice was wanted NOT opinion

Then don't post on a forum like this. :rotfl:

Macca83_2

Leave the poor woman be. It would be nothing more than sadistic to get in contact with her now. You cut all ties at probably the most difficult point in her life and left her to pick up the pieces. You're doing this for your own selfish need. She's probably just getting to the point where she's got her life back in order and it would just be cruel to come waltzing back in now.

Mrs.W_2

OP, you are thinking of your own needs, not hers. In none of your posts do you mention why she might want you back, or how another non-overbearing relationship will benefit her life.

You left her at a time when her life was in uproar, it reads as if you'd little or no emotional investment in the relationship. The lady accepted her daughter's situation and chose to support the girl. That had nothing to do with you, especially as you weren't in an overbearing relationship.

Best thing you can do for this lady is leave her to live in peace with her family.

Caroline_a

I think the OP thinks that his ex will be thrilled to see him walk back into her life. In all probability she's moved on and happily forgotten him. The OP wants advice - move on too. Those of us giving this advice are neither hurt nor angry (:huh:), we are just people who see from your first post that you just dumped this woman when she probably most needed you. Nice...

sulkisu

thebull wrote: »

May I say I get the feeling that a few of you who have replied to my request for advice appear to very hurt and angry individuals who I am only too pleased to not know on a personal level.
You have no idea of the relationship I had with the other person involved ,other than the small glimpse I have told you .
As I say advice was wanted NOT opinion

Can I start by saying that I am not a hurt or angry individual - I am happy, fulfilled and very much in love with my partner of ten years and father of my three beautiful children.

Now with that out of the way, my advice (not opinion, but advice), would be that you do not contact her - you move on as I am sure, at least I hope, that she has too.

I too would have been concerned and appalled at the idea of a 15 year old girl impregnated by a 27 year old man. However, the way that you acted in the situation (regardless of your relationship with the woman), appears (from what you have posted) to have been unsupportive at best, cruel and childish at worst. To end a relatively long relationship by sending a text and then basically blanking her, without even the courtesy of a conversation, was cruel and childish. Now you selfishly want her back because you miss her. If she has an ounce of self respect, the chances are that she will tell you to !!!! off if you do make contact. Leave well alone and learn the lesson for next time.

mountainofdebt

What makes you think she would want you back?

When things got not so rosy you threw your toys out of the pram and went off in a hissy fit.

After 10 months of no contact after that performance, my first question - if I were her - was what the hell do you want?

thebull

I asked for advice and amongst the bad stuff I got it .
I will move on and learn from this .
Thank you all

Firefly

You might find it helpful to consider why in the ten months since you split that your ex hasn't contacted you.

There are more ways to contact someone other than text.

You might also find it helpful to think about why you've taken such an extreme course of action to such a situation rather than being supportive and encouraging to the family at a difficult time.

nathand_2

thebull wrote: »

I asked for advice and amongst the bad stuff I got it .
I will move on and learn from this .
Thank you all

Should we all take that to mean you took none of the criticism onboard?

jaqui59

OP ... You needed to give more details in order not to receive the replies you have had.

I couldn't possibly give any advice upon what you have written.