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To buy a leaving present or not ...that is the question

2

Comments

  • Nikki - I know what you mean about it being a slap in the face if a collection wasn't done for her - and I don't truely hate her .....I think its a case of a mega personality clash.

    She's leaving next month so I've got a couple of weeks yet to ponder over it - and hopefully for someone to start the collection!
    2014 Target;
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  • Person_one
    Person_one Posts: 28,884 Forumite
    Tenth Anniversary 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Why don't you ask someone else to take a turn and sort the collection this time?

    If its just a personality clash and she hasn't actually done anything to you, it seems very petty to deliberately have her leave on a sour note feeling rejected.

    Nobody likes everybody, and nobody is liked by everybody, but we all have to try and get on and treat people nicely even if they aren't our favourites.
  • podperson
    podperson Posts: 3,125 Forumite
    Ninth Anniversary 1,000 Posts
    Is there someone that she gets on well with in the office? Could you perhaps mention to them something along the lines of you know you usually sort the collections but you're really busy etc at the moment and since they know her better maybe they wouldn't mind sorting something out for her. Then all pressure off you to feel like you have to do something for someone you don't really like and up to you if you want to throw a few quid if for it or not.
  • j.e.j.
    j.e.j. Posts: 9,672 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    podperson wrote: »
    Is there someone that she gets on well with in the office? Could you perhaps mention to them something along the lines of you know you usually sort the collections but you're really busy etc at the moment and since they know her better maybe they wouldn't mind sorting something out for her. Then all pressure off you to feel like you have to do something for someone you don't really like and up to you if you want to throw a few quid if for it or not.

    I would be careful doing this (having worked in an office full of women!!) If the other workers are aware that OP and pregnant lady don't really hit it off, delegating the present-buying task to someone else could easily get interpreted as 'mountainofdebt doesn't want to buy the present cos she doesn't like her'.
  • jaqui59
    jaqui59 Posts: 393 Forumite
    If your colleagues are aware that the two of you don't get along, I think it would show a good strength of character on your part to get the card and present and wish her a fond farewell.
    Some days I wake up Grumpy ... Other days I let him lie in.
  • liltdiddylilt
    liltdiddylilt Posts: 4,118 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker Debt-free and Proud!
    edited 8 December 2012 at 10:20PM
    For someone going on maternity leave if you didn't really get on with them?

    Hi,

    When I went onto maternity leave, I was given a present by the office, which people were told they could, if they so chose, give some money towards. Mainly it was from my bosses, though.

    My boss also got me a couple of gifts herself, as we are quite close. I really appreciated that.

    However, I felt rather embarrassed and taken aback when the woman in our office who quite frankly was awful to me; (two-faced in the extreme!!) gave me a present of her own. I think it was a bit of one-upmanship over others in the office, and nothing to do with me.

    My advice would be that if you have no genuine like for this person, she probably knows it. And unless you wish to build bridges (bit late when she is going to be gone for 6 months at least!) then don't buy a present. Sign a generic card, ask your boss if there is a collection and pitch in if you feel you want to, and leave it at that.

    **Edit: Before people think I am ungrateful; I did appreciate the present. I just didn't feel comfortable taking it from someone I knew damn well was saying nasty things behind my back about me, my OH, the baby & my circumstances/coming back to work.

    A black belt only covers 2 inches of your a$$ - You have to cover the rest yourself - Royce Gracie
  • Jinx
    Jinx Posts: 1,766 Forumite
    Debt-free and Proud!
    I bought a pressie for someone going on maternity and im not that keen on her....... why did I do it? I came in as her maternity leave cover and little does she know when she gets back I'll be her boss - so I felt I owed her somewhat!

    Edited to add - I also wanted to build bridges expecting she will return and some days she was great, but others not so.... was erring on the good days!
    Light Bulb Moment - 11th Nov 2004 - Debt Free Day - 25th Mar 2011 :j
  • meritaten
    meritaten Posts: 24,158 Forumite
    it wouldnt hurt to get the card and organise the collection if thats your usual role - but delegate one of her friends to actually buy the present as 'they know her better'. That way you cant be accused of not taking part - and someone else has the responbility of the pressie. not much to ask really is it?
  • Savvy_Sue
    Savvy_Sue Posts: 47,474 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    tbh I'm hoping that there will be a collection so I can bung a pound or two in then that solves that the problem .....but opens up another one as, in the past, its been left to me to get the collection started
    Under the circumstances you describe, I'd start the collection to make sure it IS an office collection rather than a baby shower, which someone else might suggest if she's generally popular, IYSWIM.
    meritaten wrote: »
    it wouldnt hurt to get the card and organise the collection if thats your usual role - but delegate one of her friends to actually buy the present as 'they know her better'. That way you cant be accused of not taking part - and someone else has the responbility of the pressie. not much to ask really is it?
    And then yes, delegate!
    Signature removed for peace of mind
  • If going on maternity I wouldn't give her anything, even if I liked her.
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