5 year old son making older friends

Scarlet_Fever

hi all

after reading a couple of the posts on here i thought i would pop my own one up!

my 5 yr old goes to after school club - and at the club when i pick him up i get to know some of the children there.

the other night it turned out that some of the children no longer going to the club, live in my street. they came round and wanted to play with him. the ages range between 6 and 8.

now - my problem is... why do they want to play with him? he's younger than them? i keep seeing in my mind the little boy who got tied to a tree by some older children - i know its completely irrational - how do i get past this?

(
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/humber/5290010.stm
Police to quiz brick attack boy

A path leads from the boy's house to the scene of the attack in Hessle
Police are to question a four-year-old boy who has left hospital two days after suffering a fractured skull when he was battered with a brick.
An 11-year-old boy arrested on Saturday on suspicion of assaulting Charlie Davis near his home in Hessle, East Yorkshire, has been released on bail. )

Rachie_B

My son,(just 5 on wed!) has mainly older friends

he likes to "hang" with the yr 2 kids lol and they seem to like him / his company too ?

He too goes to after school club where he mixes with children from the junior school aswell as his own infants school

In our cul de sac the age range of children who play out together are 4 - 11 !

I think its good they they learn to mix with a varied age range of children and they all seem to get along really well

But if you dont want your son to " go out " with them to play ,just say no,or maybe invite them to play in your garden / within your view so you are there to keep an eye ?

Becles

There's a mix of children in our street aged about 3-11 playing out, and some have toddler siblings who mine play with when they go in their houses. They all get along fine together and the bigger ones look out for the little ones.

The after school activities are all mixed age groups too. Gymnastics is open to the whole primary school, and football is open to Yr2-Yr6 pupils.

prettypennies

My sons are now 8 and the friends they play with at home range from3 to 12.

I wouldn't worry too much about the age of the children as long as the games they are playing are appropriate to your child's age.

The 12 year old who plays with my boys is quite 'young' for his age and fits in better with my children than kids over his own age,

They enjoy playing hide and seek, football and tag together and riding their bikes.

The little girl from next door (3) likes to come and play with the twins and they enjoy showing off their toy cars to her and teaching her to play games they are now good at (I think it makes them feel very grown up and important!)

As long as the older children appreciate that your son will not be allowed to go as far from his home as they may be for example I think mixing with children of a variety of ages is a good thing.

pavlovs_dog

when i grew up, we all played together, from the youngest who were only just about old enough to play out, to the elder who were probably too old for playing out in the street but did so anyway cos we had so much fun!

if they're nice boys, give him a bit of freedom

victory

My son is 6 and he has the same age friends and older friends, on the estate there is a huge mix of age kids and they all play together and inter- act with each other, so long as they are decent happy kids then them being older does not bother me as in the long run my son learns bigger older things and that is not such a bad thing if it is good things, it gives him more understanding and freedom and certainly has boosted his self confidence that he has been able to speak to older kids .....

Mrs_pbradley936

If you keep an eye on them you should be fine. The only problems I had were mischief rather than malice. The older ones would get the young ones to let down car tyres and think it was a huge joke. At the time we lived in a cul-de-sac and I felt it was quite safe.

zebidee1

I agree with the others and see no harm in him playing with older kids, it's quite common.

BUT if he turns out to get on well with them and ends up growing up with them, bear in mind when they reach the age of wanting to do more grown up stuff, he'll want to do it too because all his pals are and he's always done the same stuff as them before.

Yip, got the badge and t-shirt as the parent of a kid who had older friends at a young age and grew up with them. My work was cut out for me when he hit his teens, or they were of legal age and he wasn't, I tell you!

Although it's harmless when they are young, I try to find other things for my youngest to do now and other people of the same age to play with, rather than the neighbours older kids, as I don't want to go down the same road again. Of course your son might just play with them for a while and get fed up with them or vice versa. Kids are very changeable when they are young. Just bear it in mind though.

mrcow

Buffyslay wrote: »

i know its completely irrational - how do i get past this?

It's not irrational. It's all part of being a parent - the worry never stops!

How do you get past this?

Let him play with them, but make sure he's always within sight until you feel:

a) that he is old enough
b) that you have gotten to know his friends enough

for you to feel more comfortable with the situation.