Young and so stupid..

Crystalla

Hi
First of all, I know my problem is probably marginally significant when compared to others, but I just didn't know what else to do, or who to speak to...
I'm 16 years old and studying for my A levels. I've always been focused on what I need to do, I guess it was just my character to an extent.

At high school, I guess I fell in what I thought was an infatuation with someone else, I'm not stupid enough to call it love. It was a mess to be honest. He treated me badly, and I rightly didn't always accept it, but things turned out much worse when I'd protest. Nearing the end of the school year, we parted on bad terms but things improved towards the end, maybe the thought of finally leaving me was there, idk.

He was always about trying to get me to appreciate myself, stop keeping myself to myself and I reacted badly. In hindsight I probably pushed him away.
I discovered a few weeks ago, from a friend who didn't know about our past that he's moved away to another city. I feel hurt he didn't tell me, but I know I deserve it....

I couldn't help but trawl his Facebook account and see hes living life to the fullest with a very pretty girlfriend, someone who he bragged about to his mates in the vilest manner. Looking at them all happy together, makes me feel so bitter. I know he probably played mind games with me, and I'd never trusted him.

I can't focus on anything and it's been like this since September, Ive tried my best to get over him and move on but I just can't. I resent him as I feel like he's holding me back, slowly destroying me (something I got the impression he always wanted to do) as he thought id had too many free rides in life... But if he knew me he'd know that wasn't true.

I need to get over him, in my head I could easily answer this for someone else look to the future, be positive etc. why can't I follow my own advice? Why am I so hung up over someone who obviously never gave a damn about me?

It scares me to think I'll reject everyone in my life because they aren't him. That I'll turn into some bitter old woman, thinking he's the one that got away

meritaten

He isnt the one who got away! YOU are the lucky one who escaped!
You dont believe that now - you will in time. because you will grow up and mature and meet other people and realise just what a lucky escape you had!
I would suggest you study hard, play hard, and look to YOUR future! with or without him what would you have been planning?

Its annoying to have us wrinklies say 'I wish I was 16 again.............I would have...............whatever. But, it is true, you will never be 16 again and the opportunities are there for you. Take them hunny! you dont have to forget him - but, there is something 'better' out there for you................I KNOW that!

Mupette

Crystalla wrote: »

Hi
First of all, I know my problem is probably marginally significant when compared to others, but I just didn't know what else to do, or who to speak to...
I'm 16 years old and studying for my A levels. I've always been focused on what I need to do, I guess it was just my character to an extent.

At high school, I guess I fell in what I thought was an infatuation with someone else, I'm not stupid enough to call it love. It was a mess to be honest. He treated me badly, and I rightly didn't always accept it, but things turned out much worse when I'd protest. Nearing the end of the school year, we parted on bad terms but things improved towards the end, maybe the thought of finally leaving me was there, idk.

He was always about trying to get me to appreciate myself, stop keeping myself to myself and I reacted badly. In hindsight I probably pushed him away.
I discovered a few weeks ago, from a friend who didn't know about our past that he's moved away to another city. I feel hurt he didn't tell me, but I know I deserve it....

I couldn't help but trawl his Facebook account and see hes living life to the fullest with a very pretty girlfriend, someone who he bragged about to his mates in the vilest manner. Looking at them all happy together, makes me feel so bitter. I know he probably played mind games with me, and I'd never trusted him.

I can't focus on anything and it's been like this since September, Ive tried my best to get over him and move on but I just can't. I resent him as I feel like he's holding me back, slowly destroying me (something I got the impression he always wanted to do) as he thought id had too many free rides in life... But if he knew me he'd know that wasn't true.

I need to get over him, in my head I could easily answer this for someone else look to the future, be positive etc. why can't I follow my own advice? Why am I so hung up over someone who obviously never gave a damn about me?

It scares me to think I'll reject everyone in my life because they aren't him. That I'll turn into some bitter old woman, thinking he's the one that got away

sounds like you were the one that was lucky to get away,

was he your first love, we always have a soft spot for first loves.

time to move on, enjoy life, don't dwell on him, i bet he isn't thinking of you.

Crystalla

meritaten wrote: »

He isnt the one who got away! YOU are the lucky one who escaped!
You dont believe that now - you will in time. because you will grow up and mature and meet other people and realise just what a lucky escape you had!
I would suggest you study hard, play hard, and look to YOUR future! with or without him what would you have been planning?

Its annoying to have us wrinklies say 'I wish I was 16 again.............I would have...............whatever. But, it is true, you will never be 16 again and the opportunities are there for you. Take them hunny! you dont have to forget him - but, there is something 'better' out there for you................I KNOW that!

Well aside the fact that he Ran away from me in all technicality. I don't feel at all lucky... I guess in time I might think your right. In my head I know your definitely right. If it was anyone else I'd probably mirror what your saying. But it's always different for yourself
I want to forget, but I can't. I'd much rather do that, I feel like I'm wasting my feelings and I know I am, but my mind keeps wandering to him whenever I'm feeling blue
Thanks you for your advice x

Crystalla

Mupette wrote: »

sounds like you were the one that was lucky to get away,

was he your first love, we always have a soft spot for first loves.

time to move on, enjoy life, don't dwell on him, i bet he isn't thinking of you.

I guess he was my first love. I hate using that world, that immature part of me thinks of it as soo cliched and icky :rotfl:

I know he isn't thinking of me and that's what hurts x

Thank you x

thegirlintheattic

You will get over it!

I once had my heart broken when I was only a few years older than you. At the time I thought it would never pass. Now I'm happily settled with my OH. Things do change and get better.

Mupette

you will get over this (honestly you will)
take up a new hobby, easier said than done, but it will help.

Crystalla

Dumb as it sounds I always thought I wasn't dumb enough to fall into this sort of trap. I know it's not a sign of weakness, but I feel such a fool. I've liked him for 2 years and 6 months, still counting. I just wish it would pass.
I dont have enough energy to focus on day to day things I really don't have the strength to take up a new hobby.
With the risk of sounding totally dumbstruck, I love the way he treated me when things were good and I can forget how things were when they were bad.

Part of me wanted you all to say, go and get him...

I'm glad I have some worldly wise people to guide me through this and a platform to vent, so thank you x

Mado

Awww, to be 16 again:A .It's perfectly normal!
Thought I was heartbroken at 16 too. Got over it.:D

You'll meet someone else, then AN other, then maybe another one until you find the right one for you.

motherofstudents

You're just reacting perfectly normally. You have to go through these experiences, it's how you learn what you want from a relationship. If this one hadn't ended, you would not be in a position to meet the next one, then the next, until you meet the right one. Try not to stress, you will be fine.

Sambucus_Nigra

You are 16! What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Seriously, you have to kiss a frog or two to get a prince; think of him as trial and error rather than perfection.