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Ex partner has removed my surname from my sons school record

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  • School register's do NOT have to have the exact name of the child and can contain shortened versions of their first name or of their double barrelled surname. I know because I have a double barrelled surname but I went through all of school being known by one half of it. That was what I was registered at school as and on the class register as. When I went to college I chose to include both halves of my surname but I think the reason my mum shortened it was because I struggled to pronounce it as a kid. My half brothers and dad had the same surname and were all known by the same half of it to keep things simple.

    If she had changed the name by deed poll I would say that was completely wrong and while I understand why you're very cross about it I would say pick your battles wisely. Do you want to create bad feeling about this which could lead to problems in other more important areas? If you already have a bad relationship with the childs mum will this add fuel to the fire? You have to get on for another 14 years at least (and hopefully forever because you don't cease to have kids when they turn 18) and while this may seem very upsetting and wrong now do you want it to create problems that could be long reaching?
  • Soubrette
    Soubrette Posts: 4,118 Forumite
    sfm82 wrote: »
    To us maintaining contact and retaining a relationship with SD is more important than her name. So in our case it was best not to go through the courts system to get PR, contact would have ceased for at least 2months before getting to court and this would have affected my OH relationship with his DD just for a name change. Its all a game to the BM sometimes its not worth rocking the boat and causing SD more pain just for a name. She knows who her father is and thats more important us than anything in world.

    What a fabulous Dad and supportive step mum the pair of you are. It's a shame that the reasonable parent often has to just put up with the selfish games played by the other one. I am sure that later on your step daughter will see the games that her mother plays for what they are and be grateful that you both put her needs first.
  • anonx_2
    anonx_2 Posts: 40 Forumite
    your name is your history
  • as far as im aware as others have said, a child can have their legal surname as on their birth cert passport medical card but at school can be known at school by another surname,i know this to be true as i help out in a school
    good friends are like stars you dont always see them but they are always there.... what goes around comes around.....treat others as you'd like to be treated yourself....good manners dont cost a penny....If only everything in life was as reliable...AS ME !! It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.......
  • U cannot change a childs legal surname what is on the Birth Certificate is their last name,When u enrol yr child at school u show yr childs Birth Certificate.
    But as in my case i gave their legal last name,But requested my children use my last name as i was sick and tired of bein called from the school and called MRS XXXXX when i didnt have their last name.
    Your child knows u and knows who hes/shes parents are.
    Until your child is older and understands they will know whos last name they want to use at school.
  • Mojisola
    Mojisola Posts: 35,571 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    as far as im aware as others have said, a child can have their legal surname as on their birth cert passport medical card but at school can be known at school by another surname,i know this to be true as i help out in a school

    Only if the other parent is happy with this. If the absent parent insists on the official recorded surname being used, the school would have to comply.
  • kevin137
    kevin137 Posts: 1,509 Forumite
    U cannot change a childs legal surname what is on the Birth Certificate is their last name,When u enrol yr child at school u show yr childs Birth Certificate.
    But as in my case i gave their legal last name,But requested my children use my last name as i was sick and tired of bein called from the school and called MRS XXXXX when i didnt have their last name.
    Your child knows u and knows who hes/shes parents are.
    Until your child is older and understands they will know whos last name they want to use at school.

    And in the UK the law is different... So this would not be the case here...
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