Ex partner has removed my surname from my sons school record

shoe*diva79

Legally your name (or childs name) is that on the birth certificate unless changed by deed poll. However, you can be known by anything (same goes for a child) so it could be that your son is know as XXXX XXXX when in fact his legal name is XXXX XXXX-XXXX

wayne0

yeah, my ex said that i was not allowed to take my son to see my current partner when i first started getting contact with him... i pointed out, via solicitors letter that my current partner is his step mum, and my daughter is his sister (all be it half sister)

she got stropyy when i too my son to hospital when my third child was born, (and cut contact again due to "him being ill" but he still went to nursery?)

my ex seems to forget i do have a lot of friends in her home area... and sadly for her she makes things up for contact arrangements all too often. etc...

and despite having a solicitor letter outlining an "agreed visitation schedule" my solicitor has admitted there is nothing that can be done, until it gets to court to enforce it, and even then, enforcing a court order would require more court visits...

hopefully the court will see in my favour for a couple of nights a week being more than reasonable. with the obvious alterations when he begins school (unless of course i have moved nearer to his home by then, which i intend to do)

Mojisola

shoe*diva79 wrote: »

Legally your name (or childs name) is that on the birth certificate unless changed by deed poll. However, you can be known by anything (same goes for a child) so it could be that your son is know as XXXX XXXX when in fact his legal name is XXXX XXXX-XXXX

This only applies to a child if both parents agree to change his name. If not, his legal name has to be used.

wayne0

shoe*diva79 wrote: »

Legally your name (or childs name) is that on the birth certificate unless changed by deed poll. However, you can be known by anything (same goes for a child) so it could be that your son is know as XXXX XXXX when in fact his legal name is XXXX XXXX-XXXX

a class register is a legal document, and therefore should have the childs full proper name on it...

we take our 2 kids to church "parent toddler" group... and when we started taking our son they asked for his proper name because of this fact (they thought his name was an abrev)

unfortunately, as i have no PR atm, i cant question my sons nursery ETC... but once i have, i will bring it up with them... and his DR's ETC...

shoe*diva79

I looked into this 3 months ago and was able to change my daughters surname to my own on records such as doctors, pre school etc. her passport remains in her 'official' surname but her name will be changed via deed poll soon anyway. When explaining this to the docs/preschool etc they said it was fine and she could be known as whatever I wanted her to be. My elder daughter thinks we should have her known as Jellyfish McSavaloy LOL!

wayne0

shoe*diva79 wrote: »

I looked into this 3 months ago and was able to change my daughters surname to my own on records such as doctors, pre school etc. her passport remains in her 'official' surname but her name will be changed via deed poll soon anyway.

but why do you feel that you have the right to change it?

sfm82

SDs BM did this when she broke up with my partner even text him to let him know. Its a power thing with her. My partner has no PR so cant do anything about it, but he did get a copy of her birth certificate to show his DD that she once did have his name and she can change it back if she wants when she's older but at the moment he takes the attitude that its just a name and theres no point in getting angry or upset about it. There are more important things in life.

wayne0

sfm82 wrote: »

Its a power thing with her.

but you shouldnt use the child for power...


My partner has no PR so cant do anything about it,

except the long process of courts to get PR (PR order is granted, and name put on register if there is no good reason not to do it (IE: domestic voilence ETC - but even in such cases its "generally granted")

its just a name and theres no point in getting angry or upset about it. There are more important things in life.

so if its just a name, why does the mother need to change it?
a name is more than just that... my daughters rabbit teddy has been called HoFFy since she could mumble the word... she can actually say hoppy - which is what we guess she meant to call it, but she still calls him hoffy... - names are important, even to a 3/4/5 year old...

sfm82

wayne0 wrote: »

so if its just a name, why does the mother need to change it?

She didnt need to she did it out of spite and to start another fight. There's no point in playing into her hands

a name is more than just that... my daughters rabbit teddy has been called HoFFy since she could mumble the word... she can actually say hoppy - which is what we guess she meant to call it, but she still calls him hoffy... - names are important, even to a 3/4/5 year old...

To us maintaining contact and retaining a relationship with SD is more important than her name. So in our case it was best not to go through the courts system to get PR, contact would have ceased for at least 2months before getting to court and this would have affected my OH relationship with his DD just for a name change. Its all a game to the BM sometimes its not worth rocking the boat and causing SD more pain just for a name. She knows who her father is and thats more important us than anything in world.

india

you seem like a good dad and you should be consulted in your child's life.

I think the decision to change a child's name should not be taken lightly.

I have been considering changing my childrens surname for 5 years now. I decided to wait till they was older and let them make the decision themselves.

My reason's are there dad doesn't have any positive contact, he's abusive and use the worse langugue in front the kids. he's never supported them financially. i've recently put in a csa claim which he's trying his best to avoid paying and i only did it cause we need the money. i'm being made redundant and my son has emotional,and behavioural problems due to what his dads done to the family.

I've struggled on my own to grow up my children, with the support of my family and thats why i believe they should have my family's name and continue our family tree not a man that never gave a second though about them or if they have food or warmth.