Abuse of a child - urgent.

emweaver

You an't keep quiet about this you must report it to social services and if the child denies it show them the messages she has sent you.

SuzieSue

I don't have any professional knowledge but if I was in your position, I would ring up Social Services anonymously and tell them that your relative is being abused and is too scared of her abusers to do anything about it. Ask them what would happen if you met her after school and took her to your house. Could they guarantee that she wouldn't have to go back to live with her gps even if what she was saying wasn't true as she obviously doesn't want to live there even if she is making it all up.

**Patty**

I would favour the police over SS.

IF she has injuries, the police will act immediately.

SS will, in my experience, ring to make an appointment first.....which is exactly what you wish to avoid.

Edit: The child being 12 plays a big part in this^^

marisco_2

Moo_Point wrote: »

The solicitor told me because the child had been living with them for so long no judge in their right mind would move her away from the life she knows/friends/school etc and that the only thing I could do would be to call social services and the child would probably get taken into care, the thing is, the child has been so manipulated and brainwashed that she told me if anything happened she would tell them she wanted to stay with her grandparents because she is scared what they will do to her if this comes out. The solicitor also told me that it would be the childs word against the grandparents.

If this child divulged information like this to anyone at her school the Senco (person responsible for child protection) would have to involve outside agencies. Most likely the police and social services. Professionals trained to handle extremely sensitive situations like you describe. Considering all that a child so young is living with I would be amazed if the school does not already have some concerns. It would be incredible if some emotional signs were not apparent of all she is enduring.

This child is only 12 years old, is being emotionally and physically abused and is clearly terrified of those who have been trusted to look after her. At present she thinks she would rather try to cope with the awful treatment she is recieving rather than bring it to light and possibly face worse punishments. The fact that she is texting you and letting you know what is happening is her screaming out for help.

If I were you I wouldn't hesitate in calling the police and social services right now. Its not just a case of her word against the grandparents. You have texts advising you of what has been happening. Dont let this continue, help her please.

j.e.j.

Moo_Point wrote: »

Hello, I need some urgent advice, I cannot give a lot away as I know certain people who read this forum and it would give who I am away, so I will try my best.

A child in my family was taken from her mother and custody was given to the childs grandparents, its a very long story, the child has been living with the grandparents ever since. (A residence order was involved and the court case which followed gave the grandparents custody) The child is related to me but I cant say in which way as it is too specific.

From experience the grandmother has always been extremely manipulative and things always have to be her way or no way, she used to lock her own daughter in her bedroom when she was growing up, her daughter did not have a great childhood in many ways so she knows what her mother is capable of, she always tried to control her daughter, even when she left home. Theres lots more but as I say I cannot go into it all.

Anyway, the child in question is 12 years old, she has begun sending me messages, either via text or on facebook, and the things she is saying is making me very worried as it is not normal the way she is being treated, so much so I actually took a copy of these messages to a solicitor to get their opinion.

The messages have been coming to me for around 6 weeks now and each one is getting worse. As an example, if the child says as much as one thing "out of line" she will get pinned up against the wall and washing up liquid will be forced into her mouth.

She explained she was ten minutes late home from school and for that she got pushed out of the living room and had a hot pot noodle thrown over her, burning her arm. Another message told me that she was shopping with her grandparents and saw someone she went to school with and went to speak to them, because she dared to do that once at home she was once again pinned up against the wall and ended up with a cut lip, not sure how as it wasnt explained to me.

Each message is ended the same "please dont tell anyone I told you because it will only get worse for me"

I managed to speak to the child on the phone recently and I really did not know what to do or say so I just blurted out that she could come live with me for a while to get her out of the situation she is in, right away she panicked and pleaded with me that if the grandparents found out she had been talking to me it would make her life worse, but I cant just leave her like this.

The solicitor told me because the child had been living with them for so long no judge in their right mind would move her away from the life she knows/friends/school etc and that the only thing I could do would be to call social services and the child would probably get taken into care, the thing is, the child has been so manipulated and brainwashed that she told me if anything happened she would tell them she wanted to stay with her grandparents because she is scared what they will do to her if this comes out. The solicitor also told me that it would be the childs word against the grandparents.

I really do not know what to do or where to go from here, I dont want to break her confidence in me but at the same time the messages are now coming every other night and the contents of them are getting worse.

What do I do? Baring in mind the grandparents still have the residence order?

Have you seen the girl in person?

I would try and ascertain what's going on, and if you have reason to believe that all or any of what the girl is telling you is true then it needs to be reported.

Has anyone else had their suspicions about the grandparents' treatment of the child?

princessdon

Also to add that SS will not divulge the source of their enquiry, it could have came from a neighbour, friend, realtive, school or anyone.

There is nothing to lose and everything to gain from ringing them. as above it is likely other concerns have been noted already, sometimes it takes a lot of small things to add up to a bigger thing, and isolated incidents on their own are not proof enough.

You have something in your possession that cannot be ignored.

Not trying to worry you BUT .. How would you feel if the child was severely injured and you hadn't done anything?

meritaten

princessdon wrote: »

Also to add that SS will not divulge the source of their enquiry, it could have came from a neighbour, friend, realtive, school or anyone.


Not true I am sorry - I know personally of people who have been told exactly who reported them!
and on MSE itself Social Workers have said they do tell the source of the enquiry to 'establish trust'!

fluffnutter

Moo_Point wrote: »

The solicitor told me because the child had been living with them for so long no judge in their right mind would move her away from the life she knows/friends/school etc and that the only thing I could do would be to call social services and the child would probably get taken into care

This is billy bollox. Is that really what was said? What nonsense to suggest that just because someone's lived somewhere a long time, that it doesn't matter if it's an abusive situation. And it's also absolute rubbish to suggest that the only option social services has if a child is found to be in an abusive situation is for them to be taken into care. A loving environment within the extended family is surely sought first (if possible)?

I don't really know what to advise as I'm not really au fait with horrible situations like this. But you can ignore this particular solicitor. TBH, I'd ignore most of what solicitors say, frankly. They're useful on points of law, but this isn't a situation that first needs to concentrate on legalities - this is about making sure the child's safe and for that you need social services, not a solicitor.

fluffnutter

princessdon wrote: »

Also to add that SS will not divulge the source of their enquiry

Yes, they will. If you don't want it known that you reported something, you have to be explicit and ask that your name is not shared.

cgk1

j.e.j. wrote: »

Have you seen the girl in person?

I would try and ascertain what's going on, and if you have reason to believe that all or any of what the girl is telling you is true then it needs to be reported.

Has anyone else had their suspicions about the grandparents' treatment of the child?

No it needs to be reported now - let the professionals work out if it's true - lots of abuse was missed in the past because people worked off their own instincts rather than reporting,