Abuse of a child - urgent.

Moo_Point

Hello, I need some urgent advice, I cannot give a lot away as I know certain people who read this forum and it would give who I am away, so I will try my best.

A child in my family was taken from her mother and custody was given to the childs grandparents, its a very long story, the child has been living with the grandparents ever since. (A residence order was involved and the court case which followed gave the grandparents custody) The child is related to me but I cant say in which way as it is too specific.

From experience the grandmother has always been extremely manipulative and things always have to be her way or no way, she used to lock her own daughter in her bedroom when she was growing up, her daughter did not have a great childhood in many ways so she knows what her mother is capable of, she always tried to control her daughter, even when she left home. Theres lots more but as I say I cannot go into it all.

Anyway, the child in question is 12 years old, she has begun sending me messages, either via text or on facebook, and the things she is saying is making me very worried as it is not normal the way she is being treated, so much so I actually took a copy of these messages to a solicitor to get their opinion.

The messages have been coming to me for around 6 weeks now and each one is getting worse. As an example, if the child says as much as one thing "out of line" she will get pinned up against the wall and washing up liquid will be forced into her mouth.

She explained she was ten minutes late home from school and for that she got pushed out of the living room and had a hot pot noodle thrown over her, burning her arm. Another message told me that she was shopping with her grandparents and saw someone she went to school with and went to speak to them, because she dared to do that once at home she was once again pinned up against the wall and ended up with a cut lip, not sure how as it wasnt explained to me.

Each message is ended the same "please dont tell anyone I told you because it will only get worse for me"

I managed to speak to the child on the phone recently and I really did not know what to do or say so I just blurted out that she could come live with me for a while to get her out of the situation she is in, right away she panicked and pleaded with me that if the grandparents found out she had been talking to me it would make her life worse, but I cant just leave her like this.

The solicitor told me because the child had been living with them for so long no judge in their right mind would move her away from the life she knows/friends/school etc and that the only thing I could do would be to call social services and the child would probably get taken into care, the thing is, the child has been so manipulated and brainwashed that she told me if anything happened she would tell them she wanted to stay with her grandparents because she is scared what they will do to her if this comes out. The solicitor also told me that it would be the childs word against the grandparents.

I really do not know what to do or where to go from here, I dont want to break her confidence in me but at the same time the messages are now coming every other night and the contents of them are getting worse.

What do I do? Baring in mind the grandparents still have the residence order?

Ruby_woo

Gosh, it's dreadful that you know how desperate this child is, but you can't do anything immediately. I don't know what to say but I hope someone will be along to help soon.

Sorry I'm not much use x

alias*alibi

TBH you can't really keep this quiet. I know the child is saying don't tell anybody but by not doing so is keeping the abuse happening.

1. Either phone your social services child protection team and explain the texts etc

2. Phone the police and get them to make a referral to social services.

3. Phone the NSPCC.

And no judge in their right mind would keep a child with abusive grandparents. Sorry to say but if blood relatives can't/won't keep her safe then she's probably better off in care.

meritaten

I cannot believe that a solicitor would say that a judge would leave a child in an abusive environment because of 'schools, friends etc'! Did you see an 'ordinary' solicitor or one specialising in 'childrens rights' or family law?

I do hope that you will get some more informed advice from the professionals in this field who also post on here - I may disagree with them from time to time but they do know the procedures which you may have to follow to get something resolved!
Good luck!

Sooki

I'm not sure what I would do as it sounds a sensitive situation.

In your shoes I'd contact NSPCC, save the children, Barnardos, or childline or something of that ilk, They might be able to offer advice on what to do or contact the authorities on your behalf, can you ring her school welfare maybe they can broach the subject with her where she is away from this situation, she is obviously crying out for help and sees you as a safe adult.

jackomdj

If it were me I would talk to social services and show them the hard copy evidence of the messages the child has sent you. I would not be able to let it go without trying to do something.

good luck x

LannieDuck

I think this should be treated no differently than if it were the child's parent doing these things to her. What would you do in that situation?

You only have one side of the story, so it's very possible there's another side to these incidents, but you have to go on what you know. My only hesitation in saying that social services should be involved is that this girl obviously trusts you enough to confide in you, and it's a shame to risk that relationship, but I think needs must.

I'm sure social services are used to 'he said - she said', and the child being too scared to speak freely. They must deal with that all the time.

princessdon

It's really simple ring your local Social Services

They will contact the school (A cut lip is easily verified) and speak to those concerned and if they have doubts as to the safeguarding of the child will remove them, even if only temporary whilst they investigate.

zoominatorone

If she's got a mobile, the young lady in question could record occasions when her grandmother is being abusive. That at least would to some extent, give her some tangible proof.

365days

Social services or the school or the police. Whatever you do, don't do nothing.

casey

I agree with the previous reply. Contact social services. They will visit the child at school.It may be that the school has noticed injuries or a change in behaviour. They may even have logged small concerns.When these are viewed together with your concerns as a whole they may well decide to act.This chil's safety has to come first.