after death advice please

XYZ1000

I am so gutted my cat died last night. He hasn't shown any signs or being ill or anything.

This morning I cant decide what do. At the moment I am waiting for a vets to get back to me as I asked the receptionist if they would have to cut him open to find the cause of death.

I don't have much money like most of us. I don't really want him cremated with others though and think I would prefer to bury him in the garden than do that.But it doesn't sound a good idea if they cut him open.
I am completely lost I dont know what to do for the best. any help ideas thanks

McKneff

They dont have to do a post mortem if it isnt what you want.

You must do what is best for you. If you want him to go in the garden then that's fine.

Apart from making that decision, just let it all sink in and do nothing, apart from keeping busy. It all must have been such a shock when it came with no warning.

Regards
Annie

XYZ1000

thanks Annie for your quick reply , the vets just called back and said they would have to cut him open and can't do anything until next week. I know I am just confused on what was wrong with him at the moment. Not sure i can live with not knowing. He was 8 so not really old.

McKneff

If you are needing to know what was wrong with him then all you can do is let the Vet do his job.

It is entirely up to you what you do with puss after that. If you want him in the garden, well that's fine.

Youre right, 8 isnt old for a cat, did he just go to sleep then and not wake up.
Sometimes, us in answering dont know whether you want to talk about him or not, so if you want to talk about him and if it makes you feel better then talk away, we have so many pet owners on here and lots who have been through what you are going through now.

rising_from_the_ashes

Oh no, I am so, so sorry to hear this (((hugs))) to you and your wee one.

I've lost pets suddenly and it's really hard to come to terms with the fact that one day they were fine and the next gone (just as hard to lose one that's been ill or an oldie but at least you know what the reason is).

It's entirely up to you what you do and what you feel is for the best - if you need to know, then have the PM done (but it won't be cheap so I'd check with the vets if this may be an issue).

I guess you have to think - would knowing what happened really make it any better (he's still going to be gone)?

Tiddlywinks

Hello OP - I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.

You loved your boy and this will be a total shock... if it were me then I would want to know BUT knowing won't change the loss... a post-mortem will be expensive as will any blood tests etc. If you really can't afford this then consider how actually knowing will help you.

What if the results are inconclusive - all that money will have been spent and you'll still be living with the unknown.

Please take some comfort from the fact that your boy had a good life and didn't have a long and painful time before he died. Unless you think there might have been something environmental (like anti-freeze poisoning or something) then knowing may rest your mind but will not bring him back.... plus, may add to your pain / guilt if you start to second guess and go back over everything you did over the last months / years... which we all do when we lose someone.

You also asked about cremation... you can have an individual cremation (which is a bit more expensive) and the ashes come back in a little pouch or box and you then know that you have your boy back so that you can decide where to bury him.

I still have my old girl's ashes in a little pot next to her photo - I won't put them in the garden as I am not planning on staying here and don't want to leave her behind.

Losing a pet is losing a member of your family... give yourself lots of time to grieve. I'd recommend an individual cremation, having your boy back may give you time to say goodbye and might help with the loss.

My very best wishes to you.

Tiddly

BECKIN1507

So sorry about your loss. I had my cat back after a post mortem, they can sew her back up for, Biscuit was wrapped in a blanket and put in a box. I choose not to look at her I rather remember her as the naughty cheeky cat she was. My OH had a quick look as I wanted to make sure it was her. We buried her, my dogs have all been cremated and I have them back in a lovely wooden box (that cost around £40 on top of cremation cost :-0 ) I just didn't have the money to do this with biscuit so we buried her where her kitten was buried (kitten had a heart defect if I could of got her to 8weeks they would of operated but she died at 5wks)
Everyone is different and you must do what feels best for you, there is no reason you cant bury her after a post mortem, vets are very considerate when things like this happen and I'm sure they'll sew her back up and cover her if you'd rather not look.

Katiehound

I think Tiddlywinks has just about said it all.

Do you really want a PM which is costly and will you use the results to beat yourself with over something you did, or didn't do?

IMHO I would just either bury your cat in a special place in your garden or have the body cremated if that is what you want. You can keep the ashes or you can scatter them in your garden .Then remember all the happy times.

It takes a long time to come to terms with a pet loss because we know that pets are very important members of the family, so just take care.

If you want to talk there is the pet bereavement support service ,details here:
http://www.bluecross.org.uk/2083/pet-bereavement-support-service.html

XYZ1000

thank you all for your wise words and sharing your experiences. It has helped a great deal today. A friend come round and buried him the back garden for me.
It isn't easy at all. I never realised how much I loved him or how not having him around would feel so strange. I guess it is very raw and will get easier with time.

McKneff

Just been 'talking' to another lady who has lost her 'cat' she is also really sad,

Things will get easier for you, it will just take time.

Tiddlywinks

XYZ1000 wrote: »

thank you all for your wise words and sharing your experiences. It has helped a great deal today. A friend come round and buried him the back garden for me.
It isn't easy at all. I never realised how much I loved him or how not having him around would feel so strange. I guess it is very raw and will get easier with time.

The day after one of my old girls died I couldn't stay in the house as it felt so empty without her....

The pain is a natural part of grieving; it shows how much you cared. One day though, you'll remember all the funny, crazy things he used to do and that will give you pleasure... it does get better.