Any downsides to not getting married?

Angry_Bear

clearingout wrote: »

Your savings maybe joint - do you both have to sign to remove money from the accounts? not unheard of for one partner to clear out joint accounts as their parting gift!

No ... but to be honest, my OH probably doesn't even know what accounts/savings we have. He's useless with money and leaves me to deal with it. No matter how bad it got, I'd never steal his half - and I'm sure he knows that.

In the event of us splitting up, we'd sell the house and split the proceeds - we had this agreed when we completed on the house.

I doubt we'll ever split up (it's been over 15 years), but then I suppose everyone feels that way!

bugslet

Angry_Bear wrote: »

No matter how bad it got, I'd never steal his half - and I'm sure he knows that.

In the event of us splitting up, we'd sell the house and split the proceeds - we had this agreed when we completed on the house.

I doubt we'll ever split up (it's been over 15 years), but then I suppose everyone feels that way!

Hi Angry bear

I was with Mr bugslet for 19 years when he had an affair - I have to say when you are in that maelstrom ( and at 15 years I would never have thought he would), any concept of fair play kind of wanders out of the window. Of course that's no template for you and I wouldn't wish the situation on anyone; however, I totally understand where RAS is coming from - it's like insurance, you have to plan for the worst and hope for the best.

Clearing out, I would have been worse off had I been married - the complete reverse of your situation. Perhaps I'm unusual in so far as in the situation above, I owned the house outright and it was entirely my business, so he was the one who stood to lose more financially.

I have thought of a disadvantage though - what do you call your other half that indicates a lasting relationship when you aren't married? Significant other - yuk. Partner, not when I run a business. Boyfriend, makes it sound too casual. Other than that though, I've been happy in living-together in sin.

Angry_Bear

bugslet wrote: »

I have thought of a disadvantage though - what do you call your other half that indicates a lasting relationship when you aren't married? Significant other - yuk. Partner, not when I run a business. Boyfriend, makes it sound too casual. Other than that though, I've been happy in living-together in sin.

My bidie-in

Oh, and I definitely wouldn't be better off if we were married (as I earn slightly more than the OH and am likely to oustrip him further as time goes on). But I don't think I'd be worse off either.

RAS

Angry_Bear wrote: »

In the event of us splitting up, we'd sell the house and split the proceeds - we had this agreed when we completed on the house.

Have you specified how you will split the proceeds when you completed on the house, exactly?

Angry_Bear

RAS wrote: »

Have you specified how you will split the proceeds when you completed on the house, exactly?

50/50, after all necessary legal fees have been paid. We've been together long enough that the deposit was a joint effort, and the mortgage payments are a joint effort so that seemed simplest and fair. We had this put in a deed of separation that our solicitor holds.

lostinrates

Re nok line. We were in this situation and even though my BF was my nominated nok e found people kept by passing to my family which was expressly not what I wanted. He had the means to challenge this but it took time, each time, and often decisions for my interest needed to be made then and there. (one of the reasons I wanted him).

Being married has made all of this so much easier, automatic.

loulou123

We were together 14 years before getting married, and on a daily basis being married makes no difference, but its the NOK reason that made us decide to get married in end....along with all the normal reasons!

I had a major op and as I was in intensive care only immediate family were allowed in and that didn't count my now husband, he did get into see me eventually but it caused him stress when all he wanted to do was see me.

Then my hubby was really ill and ended up unconscious in hospital, and the staff wouldn't tell me anything until they'd spoken to his mum (his NOK at that time.)

This was the kick we needed to make it official.

chirpchirp

I read somewhere that in law there is no next of kin - basically I could nominate anyone to be my next of kin as I only have my Mum and I wouldn't trust her to make a decision on my behalf.

When my Dad was dying I had a conversation with the doctor about NOK status and he agreed there was no legal definition.

Mojisola

chirpchirp wrote: »

I read somewhere that in law there is no next of kin - basically I could nominate anyone to be my next of kin as I only have my Mum and I wouldn't trust her to make a decision on my behalf.

When my Dad was dying I had a conversation with the doctor about NOK status and he agreed there was no legal definition.

If no-one else has been nominated, the hospital will usually use the same degrees of relationship as used for intestacy inheritance.

This is a useful -
http://static.advicenow.org.uk/files/lt-nextofkin-2-8-10-1-988.pdf

What's important is to make sure the hospital and the GP have your preferred person listed as your NOK before you end up in A&E, on life support and so on. During a normal admission, you should be asked for your NOK; in an emergency, you might not be in a position to tell them.

NannyV

Hi, can I jump on this thread?

We really need to make a Will and get finances/nok sorted, where do I start? Who do I use, will one solicitor do it all? What is the average cost?

Other half and I have been together for 12 years and have 3 children together, a joint mortgage, he earns significantly more than me and pays all the mortgage and bills etc. out of his account, I have my own seperate account and put money into savings and pay for stuff for the kids/holidays etc. We also each do one ISA a year and then split the rest of the cash into savings equally in each name.

We contemplated getting married in a registry office for the reasons of us not having wills etc. and inheritance tax ..... but just felt un-easy doing this as that isn't what Ive always seen marriage as! I never wanted to get married, hated big days etc. and my Mum always 'put up' with my dad and his affairs and his rages because 'you have to work at marriages' ..... that is why I have never wanted to get married.

Anyway, so could we still get the same inheritance privileges if we don't get married but set of the relevant documents with a solicitor? As that would be a decision maker .... if the tax man benefited a lot from us not marrying!