Any downsides to not getting married?

Mojisola

lazer wrote: »

In marriage you tie everything together "for better, for worse", its a lifetime committement and you should be aware of what that really means. If your marrying someone, you should trust them with your life (No PoA required!), and your possessions (no need for a will)

That might be how you feel but, when situations arise, you'll still have to comply with the law. Check out the intestacy rules compared to a will leaving everything to the spouse. No POA - someone else might end up making decisions for your spouse.

lazer

Mojisola wrote: »

That might be how you feel but, when situations arise, you'll still have to comply with the law. Check out the intestacy rules compared to a will leaving everything to the spouse. No POA - someone else might end up making decisions for your spouse.

I thought that was the law - when you marry someone you become their next of kin, so when the worst happens, you can make the decisions (Unless the spouse has nominated someone else).

For anything under £250k the spouse automatically inherits even under intestacy rules.
For anything over - you are wise to make a will (To cut doen inheritance tax for any children etc) (But this doesn't effect most people!)

clearingout

there is protection in Law, particularly financial protection, for marriage/civil partnership that does not exist if you simply live with someone (and I don't in anyway mean to devalue living with somone using the word 'simply). This is something that you should consider carefully the longer your relationship goes on, although is perhaps less of an issue if you have no children.

I dread to think what my ex would have got away with if we hadn't been married. The Law is very helpful in this respect - I came out of my marriage with 'enough'. If we hadn't been married, I'd have come away with whatever I could lay my hands on which, after the shock had worn off and I realised what I was dealing with, wasn't very much.

It's not very romantic but if there is a large disrepancy in your incomes, or you would struggle to maintain any kind of standard of living without your partner, marriage would be a legal safety net you shouldn't ignore.

Angry_Bear

lazer wrote: »

In marriage you tie everything together "for better, for worse", its a lifetime committement and you should be aware of what that really means. If your marrying someone, you should trust them with your life (No PoA required!), and your possessions (no need for a will)

But with divorce so easy (relatively speaking) and so common, I'd argue that a lot of people don't see marriage as a lifetime commitment.

What do want a test to see if you understand the implications of marriage, or do you simply want marriage to not exist or at least not to confer any additioanl powers or responsibilities?

Not a bad idea . Sometimes it feels a bit like people get married "because they think they've reached the age where they should".

Meh, it's up to everyone individually what they want.

Angry_Bear

clearingout wrote: »

there is protection in Law, particularly financial protection, for marriage/civil partnership that does not exist if you simply live with someone

That's what I'm asking though - what is there that hasn't been covered by PoA, wills etc.

It's not very romantic but if there is a large disrepancy in your incomes, or you would struggle to maintain any kind of standard of living without your partner, marriage would be a legal safety net you shouldn't ignore.

Hmm, but our big assets are owned jointly by both of us (house, savings). We don't have kids, so if we split up, why should one of us continue to support the other? (It's not an issue just now, as we have pretty similar incomes, but that won't always be the case).

Brighton_belle

lazer wrote: »

For anything under £250k the spouse automatically inherits even under intestacy rules.
For anything over - you are wise to make a will (To cut doen inheritance tax for any children etc) (But this doesn't effect most people!)

In the SE, a two up two down terrace house can cost £250,000, so if you have aid off your mtg by your late 40's it would not be difficult on paper to have that much, even if you were cash poor.

RAS

Angry_Bear wrote: »

Hmm, but our big assets are owned jointly by both of us (house, savings). We don't have kids, so if we split up, why should one of us continue to support the other? (It's not an issue just now, as we have pretty similar incomes, but that won't always be the case).

To repeat; exactly what arrangements have you made to to deal with the break-down of your relationship?

because we see

1. Ex living in the house, paying or not paying the mortgage, refusing to sell or after a court order (think 2 years or so to sort that out if you are lucky) being obstructive with people who come to view.

2. Ex moves out and stops paying anything and everything. Wrecks your credit rating, you cannot sell because they will not sign and the house is due to be repossessed.

3. Ex finally agrees to sale and the day contract are due to be exchanged, they demand 60 percent of the equity.

4. ex moves out and pays nothing. You start a new relationship, so they move back in. they can do that as long as their name is on the deeds.

We have seen these an a number of other lovelies over the years on MSE. If you had to divorce you would find it much easier to settle the situation reasonably.

Add ex withdraws every last penny and some from the joint account and wracks up a massive debt on the joint cards and then moves overseas to be with the love ofn their life. You are liable for that debt.

Seen that too and a number of variants.

Brighton_belle

lazer wrote: »

I thought that was the law - when you marry someone you become their next of kin, so when the worst happens, you can make the decisions (Unless the spouse has nominated someone else).

If you look at this MSE link of the subject, the implecation is that you still ideally need one even if married. I am not an expert ay all on this subject, but I get the feeling that you cannot make unilateral decision of your spouses behalf if they are incapacitted. For example, say you needed to sell your jointly owned home to buy a bungalow fitted out for yr now disabled spouse and they were not able to understand this or sign forms, I don't think you could sell with out getting a court order costing potentially £1000's.

http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/power-of-attorney#what

Mojisola

lazer wrote: »

I thought that was the law - when you marry someone you become their next of kin, so when the worst happens, you can make the decisions (Unless the spouse has nominated someone else).

A spouse is the NOK but that won't carry any weight when you try to sort out any bills in their name or deal with financial institutions or insurance companies, etc.

If you don't have POA sorted out before someone becomes unable to make their own decisions, the Court of Protection will appoint a Deputy who may be the spouse but not always.

clearingout

Angry_Bear wrote: »

clearingout wrote: »

there is protection in Law, particularly financial protection, for marriage/civil partnership that does not exist if you simply live with someone

That's what I'm asking though - what is there that hasn't been covered by PoA, wills etc.


Hmm, but our big assets are owned jointly by both of us (house, savings). We don't have kids, so if we split up, why should one of us continue to support the other? (It's not an issue just now, as we have pretty similar incomes, but that won't always be the case).

you have no idea what lies ahead - illness, disability, one of you becomes a carer for elderly parents.....it's not just about having children.

Your savings maybe joint - do you both have to sign to remove money from the accounts? not unheard of for one partner to clear out joint accounts as their parting gift!

I am sorry to be negative - my experience was particularly difficult and now the clouds have cleared, I am very much aware of the protection I got from being married. I know of at least one friend who wasn't quite so lucky and I also know that I trusted my ex husband...too much? he could easily have walked away with more than he did had it not been for that essential piece of paper. Take legal advice, be very clear what you're doing and why and then sit back and enjoy life knowing you've got it all covered as best as you are able!