wonga.best way to proceed

shellyruby

Mara69 wrote: »

So tired of hearing this. It is not a trap, it is YOU overspending. YOU spent too much money on crap you didn't really need.

Spend less and you won't have to borrow from pay day lenders. It really is that simple.

i understand this.but it wasnt on crap i didnt need...it was essentials like a school coat for my son..money for school trip. a couple of prescriptions fees... work shoes i had to buy as mine were knackered...thess are things i didnt budget for..
granted it still was spending that i shouldnt have ,when i do a budget every month as soon as i get paid..it seems to go and i dont have anything to show for it.
thank you for your input.

tiggerbodhi

shellyruby wrote: »

youve hit the nail on the head exactly with money with myself and hubby..we have totally seperate fianances..

Just as aside, IMHO how can a couple have totally seperate finances in a true relationship, yes have your own "spends" and accounts, but you have a kid together, does he not contribute to this or have you "shared" the kid out financially, he does the bottom half, you do the top? purely an opinion but find it odd that he could sit there watching you struggle to find "your half" of the rent and using PDL's and the obvious stress and worry to you, has he turned off your "half" of the heating to help you save money?

shellyruby

tiggerbodhi wrote: »

Just as aside, IMHO how can a couple have totally seperate finances in a true relationship, yes have your own "spends" and accounts, but you have a kid together, does he not contribute to this or have you "shared" the kid out financially, he does the bottom half, you do the top? purely an opinion but find it odd that he could sit there watching you struggle to find "your half" of the rent and using PDL's and the obvious stress and worry to you, has he turned off your "half" of the heating to help you save money?

lol.ive always found it kind of strange..ive always felt guilty because i brought him down to my level moneywises..he didnt even have a credit card before we got together..
ive borrowed from him lots of times..but thats exactly the point..ive borrowed and always paid it back to him.for first time in years im finally out of debt to him and he let me off quite a bit..to him everything is down the middle..he does pay for whatever our sons needs,but weve never had a joint account..
unfortunalty we both work in a low paid sector and money is tight for him and we both have no savings at all..its very much hand to mouth each month..i know he hasnt got it to spare but if he did ,it would then be paying him back each month.but at least there d be no interest..we pay half of everything each down to utilities ,food,etc..he said i get myself out of one fianancial mess,straight into another one..thanks.your post made me chuckle..his family is very much the same way with how they deal with "their " money.

Mara69

How was it decided that it is fair for you to split everything down the middle when he works full time and you part time?

I tell you something, my husband would give me the shirt off his back rather than see me borrow from pay day lenders.

shellyruby

Mara69 wrote: »

How was it decided that it is fair for you to split everything down the middle when he works full time and you part time?

I tell you something, my husband would give me the shirt off his back rather than see me borrow from pay day lenders.

i
i used to work full time before i had my youngest son.i had a long maternity leave and i was unable to go back to full time afterwoods..when i had been working full time .that was the way we worked it with half of everything..when i said about this,we worked out that by the time he paid car tax,insurance,petrol etc which i dont pay any part of and he will pick me up and take me anywher but i dont put anything to ,because i get the child benefit and the tax credits for myself £260 a month it didnt work out that it was hardly any different money wises.although it dosent seem like it.
in his defense.i didnt tell him at first.only afterwoods when id paid it as it was a low amount of 80 pound at that point.
and he d said not to do it again..
and i only told him i was using them when i realised how bad it was and how i was struggling to pay it back..

Ilona

I am appalled that a couple with children keep their finances separate from each other. Maybe I have got it wrong, that a marriage/live in relationship is a total commitment, share everything. Splitting things into 'you pay for this and I'll pay for that' is not fair, one will always come off worse than the other. It dosn't matter that one person earns more than the other, you should both sit down and go through every bit of paperwork for the house and family, and sort it out together. A man is supposed to work hard to to support his family, he is the breadwinner and should cough up a bigger share and not leave you struggling. If you are borrowing from him he is not fulfilling his commitments, he might as well be a lodger. Sorry if you don't like that, just how I see it.
Ilona

UsetheFORCE

As far as I am concerned, PDL's are 'traps', if they weren't, then surely the lender would stop relending month after month to the same person at the high charges they do.

PDL's are only good for a one off emergency where it can be repaid quickly. A lot of the time, it is the ever increasing charges associated with borrowing off them month after month that finally end up with the situation where the borrower defaults.

Personally, it should be that you are not allowed to roll over the original amount, say only half and after that there should be a clear month before you can borrow again, these parisitic companies know that the borrower is conducting their account with them in a way which implies they are living beyond their means/struggling to repay but do nothing about it, all in the name of profit!!!

Regards

shellyruby

Ilona wrote: »

I am appalled that a couple with children keep their finances separate from each other. Maybe I have got it wrong, that a marriage/live in relationship is a total commitment, share everything. Splitting things into 'you pay for this and I'll pay for that' is not fair, one will always come off worse than the other. It dosn't matter that one person earns more than the other, you should both sit down and go through every bit of paperwork for the house and family, and sort it out together. A man is supposed to work hard to to support his family, he is the breadwinner and should cough up a bigger share and not leave you struggling. If you are borrowing from him he is not fulfilling his commitments, he might as well be a lodger. Sorry if you don't like that, just how I see it.
Ilona

Ilona.its not that i dont like what you ve said.its just the way weve always done it..i agree with what you are saying,but its quite hard to broach the subject..he already feels hard done by as ive just over a week to payday and im broke and he will pay for everything..but it then makes me feel guilty because both our wages arent great and we do struggle each month.the same as others to in this climate..he will pay for everything now and wont expect anything back..what i was trying to explain in an earlier post is that i have the child benefit money and the child tax credit and it makes us more or less even..even though we have seperate fianances ,at the last week before payday.he ends up paying for everything as im broke by this time.even though we are on roughly the same after my benefits.he manages his money better than i do..he gets his all in one go with his wages.wheras after my wages .its comes in dribs and drabs throughout the month..he definalty ends up spending more than me whatever at the end of the month..but this makes me feel guilty..
what im trying to say is even though i only work part time..by the time i add my benefits to my wages..there isnt much different in our monthly figures..looking at it the other way..the hunter/gatherer way..why should he pay more if we are on roughly the same money just because hes a man and hes full time...because i cant manage my money as i should and he can.

shellyruby

UsetheFORCE wrote: »

As far as I am concerned, PDL's are 'traps', if they weren't, then surely the lender would stop relending month after month to the same person at the high charges they do.

PDL's are only good for a one off emergency where it can be repaid quickly. A lot of the time, it is the ever increasing charges associated with borrowing off them month after month that finally end up with the situation where the borrower defaults.

Personally, it should be that you are not allowed to roll over the original amount, say only half and after that there should be a clear month before you can borrow again, these parisitic companies know that the borrower is conducting their account with them in a way which implies they are living beyond their means/struggling to repay but do nothing about it, all in the name of profit!!!

Regards

I agree with this..and these should only be used for one off emergencys and the borrower able to pay back without having to borrow again the next month..i thought i was in control of it but i so wasnt..the pdl lenders can see how you are borrowing a bit more every month until you are well and truly sunk.
in my case i borrow and i find i usually have 11 days between getting the loan and payday.but after 7 days i usually get a benefit which allows me to live until payday..but that benefit is included in my monthly budget for that next month..where as if i managed my money better ,i wouldnt need to use that before ive been paid and straight away thats a hundred pound less for the month already..my fault totally though.

Apples2

UsetheFORCE wrote: »

Personally, it should be that you are not allowed to roll over the original amount, say only half and after that there should be a clear month before you can borrow again,
Regards

good idea in principle but what happens about the 50% they don't repay?
Everyone knows they aren't going to repay, the whole point of the first loan was because they had no money, not a cat in hells chance they have all this extra money the following month.

The best method would be to stop the idiots applying for them who already know they won't be able to afford the repayment.

I don't buy the claims that soooo many people, by sheer coincidence, have that all important unforeseen change of circumstance.

Sadly we can't do that, the lenders have to believe the applicant is applying with an intention of repaying, no matter what regulations are in place.

If they lose too much money through bad debt, they will fold.