Disposable income. What is reasonable?

SoozieSoo

How much disposable income do you think is reasonable for a family of 3? I deal with all the money and my husband is concerned why we are always robbing peter to pay Paul. After all bills are paid, food, petrol etc we have £500 a month left over. I am finding this is just not enough. For example, this month I put £100 in our holiday fund, son need new shoes, school pants, some jeans - £70, car tax due £100, 3 birthdays - £60, trip out as it was school holidays £70, family meal for birthday £40, Christmas savings £40. That comes to £440 and we have not bought a single thing for ourselves yet!!

My husband seems to think £500 is plenty. I have told him he should take over the finances if he is that bothered, but he won’t budge. He said he wants £200 of his wages to spend how he likes, I have told him this is just not possible. He thinks I am being mean.

Any advice how to get over to him the cost of living, school shoes, birthdays gifts, nights out are not “free”. He does not seem to understand this.

How much money do you get to spend on yourself a month and what does it include?

Slapps

just show him your post as it's plain to see there where it all goes

Jet

I have a budget and would include clothes, car tax, birthdays and Xmas. I wouldn't really say this came from my "disposable" income.

I would sit down and either manually or on an excel spreadsheet write out all your essential expenses - yearly ones divide by 12, then add in all your important but less essential expenses like clothing, christmas saving, holidays etc. Last but not least you can see how much "disposable" income you have for the true luxuries.

katglasgow

Agree with the above: car, holidays, christmas, childrens "bits" all come out of monthly budget. Money left over (not very much!) is called "pocket money" and goes into mine and hubby's seperate cashcard accounts on a weekly basis to spend as we please. If we are going out we go halfers just like when we dated!
obviously as our financial situation improves we both look forward to having a larger amount of pocket money - and maybe my hubby can take me out and pay for it all then haha!

back2square1

Sit down with a budget planner together (the one on this website is good). Put all your details in and let him see where all the money goes and what on. Also why don't you ask what he sees as more important to spend on himself than all the necessities you pay out of the £500 a month???
Family finances are awkward and you never seem to get a treat for yourself, but to be honest putting money away regularly for a holiday is your treat when you are parents. It sounds to me you are doing a spectacular job sorting family finances out and I cannot see how anyone could do it any better.

If he wants £200 to spend on himself then maybe he should earn more money because that is the only way it will happen.

seven-day-weekend

The thing is, things like the car tax happen every year and you should not need to find the whole £100 all at once.

Budget throughout the year for things that happen annually and stick the money in a high interest account.

ailuro2

Sit down and show him where the money goes, and ask him to come up with some ideas for saving money-or earning some extra.

Have you switched fuel providers to get the cheapest deal- could you cut your TV/internet package, or phone and ask for a better deal?

Shop at Lidl/Aldi for some of your shop, or buy shop's own brand product to save a bit of money?

My biggest moenysaver is planning a menu for the week then writing a list and sticking to it- no more wasted food.
I can see why your dh might think I'm working and what's wrong with wanting $50 a week- but he's a parent and a householder-sometimes we just don't get as much as we think we deserve.

FrankieM

Hi,
I have pots for just about everything, but my DH and I get £10 cash per week each. Thats money that can be used however we like. Don't really know what my DH spends his on. I use mine for the gym, buying magazines, the odd chocolate bar etc.
My DH likes the fact he has some cash on him, so if he wants to go to the pub, or buy some toffee ( for example) he's able to do that.

HTH

hobo28

I have a family of six and our disposable income is probably not much more than yours. That said, one difference is that we budget for car tax/insurance monthly so there's no nasty one off payments to find.

I don't know how old your son is but £70 seems a lot for a pair of shoes, pants & trainers. I bet you could get them cheaper from say Asda/Tesco's. Also, £70 for a single day out is quite a lot. We've joined the National Trust as a family for £56 a year and thats free parking and free entry to loads of beautiful places. We just take a picnic and its a cheap family day out. The kids love it.

belfastgirl23

There are two options. One is to see if you can squeeze the household budget a bit (esp by using old style board tips) and save some money there. The other is to sit down with your husband and show him where the money goes. I made my DH do this a while back practically at gunpoint since he HATES money discussions but it did make a difference.

As ways of dealing with him I'd suggest that you say that it is possible for him to have £200 a month but it means no holiday and no trips out over holidays or whatever. Sometimes it's easier for men to see if you illustrate what that money means. Give good concrete examples of what would have to go for him to have this money (and make sure your illustrations are stuff that he likes ). Do you have any idea what he wants to spend it on? Perhaps he wants to be able to pay for day trips out etc? In which case it's just about allocating the £ to him. Or would he cover his own clothes out of it? Or if you get takeaways etc? Maybe it could even cover car and petrol spending? If it's about him feeling in control rather than him frittering away money then I'd try to make it work since that would be understandable.

The other thing is to try to do all of this calmly and make sure it doesn't become a digging the heels in thing.

Good luck and let us know how you get on!

Horico

Current thinking and guidelines if I remember correctly state that you should allow roughly £300-£350 per couple (or is it each person) and £150 for each dependent each month to get by OK. That means about £700 minumum for you to live on as a disposable.

I'll see if I can check the figures and update them if I remember...