Wedding problems - advice needed!

saxy1

Hi, I am getting married abroad in a few weeks, my family cant make it because of various health /financial reasons. My in-laws to be are coming, which is fine.
My problem is my SIL to be (who has only just got married herself) wants to come, originally with her DH and DS (who is 2) now she is saying that they want to bring two friends with them.

My H2b and myself, want a small low-key, intimate, wedding in our 'special place' we never actually invited anyone, we were happy to grab a couple of witnesses from our hotel!

I am feeling totally ambushed and really down about it all, when I should be excited and looking forward to it.

I feel they are taking over our day, am I being selfish??
What would you do?
Any advice would be welcome.

Dan_Thunder

Why not tell her that if she wants to brings friends over for a holiday then that's fine, however the actual wedding ceremony/event is only for family.

Rachie_B

i agree with the above

i think she has a cheek to invite friends of theirs to YOUR wedding !!!

Jet

I got married abroad and literally found a couple of witnesses when we were there.

I think the fact that they are inviting friends means that they're not really coming for your wedding but just seeing it as an opportunity for a holiday with their mates.

I think you will feel a bit pushed out and that's not how you want to feel on your wedding / honeymoon.

Why not tell them you want to spend this time just the 2 of you and offer to have a party when you get back. If they want a holiday with their mates, let them go somewhere else not gatecrash your special time.

saxy1

She and her friends are in their twenties, we are a fair bit older, it is a very quiet, pretty resort (which to be honest I am reluctant to share - I know that sounds v selfish) I think they will be bored.
Also worried she may use us and my inlaws2b as 'babysitters'

Bean_Counter

I agree with the other posters. Your day - do want what you want. You want to look back at this day with pride and joy in years to come.

At my wedding, for example, we explained that we did not want small children to attend, none attended, and everyone was happy with that.

saxy1

Jet wrote: »

I think you will feel a bit pushed out and that's not how you want to feel on your wedding / honeymoon.

Why not tell them you want to spend this time just the 2 of you and offer to have a party when you get back. If they want a holiday with their mates, let them go somewhere else not gatecrash your special time.

Thats exactly how I feel!

We are having a party in our garden, when we get back.

Rachie_B

I think you have to bite the bullet and just be honest ! explain what you have on here and im sure they will understand

and if not ................ ??? well they arent welcome either lol

melancholly

you're not being selfish - your SIL is just being outright rude! i would really hope that on your wedding/honeymoon that they wouldn't have the nerve to ask you to babysit..... that is beyond belief! someone who has just had a wedding should have a little more insight into how the bride would feel.

Alex_of_Swansea

Hey. As a newly wed, I would have been outraged if someone tried to bring strangers to our wedding. If it's a holiday to her, could the friends join her after the wedding, when you've both gone off to honeymoon? But if you're not happy with it, don't be scared to say no, she might have asked on the off chance you wouldn't mind, and been just as nervous of asking as you are of saying no.
Good luck!

saxy1

She hasnt even told us about the friends coming, my MIL2B did!

Thank you all for your advice - it is much appreciated.